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How to Find your True Self?

Updated on April 2, 2016
Sue Adams profile image

Fellow of the RAD Institute of Choreology. Books published by HarperCollins "Take Back your Health with Body Awareness".

When life gets too stressful, heavy, or sad, we sometimes want to escape reality day-dreaming we could be someone else. Share a short survey on the most popular choices people dream of being. In reality, the dream comes true when you find your true self. Your true self is the sum-total of your life's experiences shared with those around you. Your true self is a person you are happy hosting in your body. So how do you become that person that you can accept and love? We begin by studying others.

Who Am I?

Who Am I? The big question everyone asks themselves.
Who Am I? The big question everyone asks themselves. | Source


Imagination is like an angel who helps us through hard times. Soldiers in the trenches cling on to their sweetheart's photograph dreaming of home. Patients meditate while being tortured by doctors and dentists. A hurt child gets distracted from its pain by mother kissing it better and promising that the pain will soon go away. So temporarily imagining what it would be like to be someone else, to stand in someone else's shoes, someone who has more luck, and seems happier, is only a natural escape from reality.

Who do Most People Want to be?

A survey of some of the most frequent answers to the question: "Would You Be Better Off Being Someone Else?" reveals that, for the most part, people wish they could be rich. Second, they dream of being a celebrity. After that, the list goes on from historical figures to famous artists or musicians. Someone even chose to be a baby again! A few wished they were an animal, from a cute kitten, a strong gorilla, a dolphin, to various types of birds.


There is nothing silly about occasionally day-dreaming that we could be someone else. A psychologist might say that such behavior is a way to seek a certain quality in the person or animal we want to be. That quality, perhaps weak or missing in our own personality, then could be nurtured to grow, to improve by example. Let us look at the favorite choices.

Looking good is her job, she is an actress.
Looking good is her job, she is an actress.

Performers always put up a happy front, even if deep inside they feel terrible. It works though. Just acting happy makes you feel better.

Angelina Jolie

Many women want to be Angelina Jolie for the privilege of hanging out with Brad Pitt, for intimidating people with the sexiest-woman-alive glare, and for her wonderful contribution towards helping children in Africa.

Bill Gates

Bill Gates for his philanthropic efforts at relieving poverty in the third world. One person would not only take Bill’s money, he wants his stocks and his wife in the bargain! Another person said he wouldn't like to be Bill Gates because his life must be very stressful what with running a corporate business and having to deal with people begging for money all day long. Well, fame and fortune bring extra responsibilities.

He too is a performer.
He too is a performer. | Source

Barack Obama

Others wished they could be Barack Obama. One person, for the privilege of being able to fire his entire administration and then resign the presidency. That would not be very helpful. Good thing we are talking hypothetically here.

African King

One man preferred to be an African King in a culture where the king gets to choose a new wife every year from a group of beautiful virgins dancing for him to compete for his attention.

A Member of Cirque du Soleil

Someone wished she could be a member of Cirque du Soleil, learn all the routines and remember them for everyday use. "Performing as they do must be as close to being superhuman as it can get", she said, forgetting that a performer for Cirque du Soleil must go through much effort, pain, and sacrifices to attain such virtuosity.

Alert and innocent, a baby seems like a little angel until it needs feeding or changing.
Alert and innocent, a baby seems like a little angel until it needs feeding or changing. | Source

A Mother

“I would like to be my sister. She has a 3-year-old and is pregnant. I would love to experience her life. Aww, to be a mother would be great!”

A Baby

“I would like to be a Baby again. I would love to talk in monosyllables, to spill my food, to have my uninterrupted 10 hr beauty sleep, to be pampered and loved by everyone. I would love to get all excited when I see a butterfly or a rose. I would love be completely aloof of all the worldly sorrows & troubles.”

The last person must have forgotten what it is like to be a baby what with pooh stuck in your pants, nappy rash, and, worst of all, not being able to communicate your needs. I don’t think so.

If you had to be one of these animals, which one would you chose to be?

See results

The List Goes on & on

Others wanted to be

  • Picasso
  • Skateboard champion Rodney Mullen
  • Paris Texas
  • Lady Gaga
  • Princess Kate
  • Oprah

and so on.

Stay the Same - Be Happy with who you are - Shan Jaca

A mirror image only gives an inverted fraction of who we really are.
A mirror image only gives an inverted fraction of who we really are. | Source

Be Yourself

And lastly, some people do not wish to be someone else. They are happy to strive to be the person they truly want to be on the inside.

Be Myself

Quite a few people said they wanted to be themselves, which is encouraging.

“I would be myself. What makes life meaningful is being yourself. Everyone is unique, born with his/her own strengths and weaknesses. You are more special and wondrous than you know."

So Who are you Now?

Do you still wish you could be someone else?

The next fable about a Donkey and an Eagle might bring you closer to finding out who you really are. Or if you don't like poems, then skip down to the revealing riddle below "Who Am I?" as it will surely give you incentive to find your true self.

The donkey who didn't like to be an eagle.
The donkey who didn't like to be an eagle. | Source
Eagle Close Up
Eagle Close Up

The Donkey and the Eagle Fable by Sue Adams

Hey you Donkey, said Eagle
Wah dye want from me?
We swap lives for a day?
By me, that’s quite OK

So the Donkey grew some wings
And the Eagle grew a tail
And they swapped all their skills
And thus began to play . . .

But Donkey had a fear of heights
Flying so high above the sky
Eagle didn’t fancy thistles
Began to miss his missus

I’m not so sure anymore
If Eagle is my score
Being a Monkey might be nice
Or shall we try turn into mice?

By me, that’s quite OK
Said Donkey who liked to play
But alas unfortunately
Not for long mice they be

Another donkey accidentally
Trod on the mice not so gently
Another eagle flew down low
Had them for tea above the snow

The moral is:

Stay who you are
And live like a star

Who Are you then, Finally?

Enjoy the following info-graphic but read and scroll down slowly so as not to reveal the answer which would spoil the surprise.


To Sum Up

This article "How to Find your True Self?" shows that you are the sum-total of your history and your habits. If you don't like who you are, it may have inspired you to make some changes towards becoming the person you like and are comfortable living with. Because if you don't who will?

Useful Links

How to Become Attractive to Women

How to Improve Confidence for a Positive Self Image


©SUE ADAMS 2016 - You may link to this article, but you may Not copy it. Copied content will automatically be found by Google Alerts and may result in your entire website/blog being closed down.



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    • MPG Narratives profile image

      Marie Giunta 2 years ago from Sydney, Australia

      The older I get the happier I am with who I am. I think this is the case with most people, why chase something that is unobtainable? Good article Sue Adams, it will give a lot of people the confidence to be themselves. Voted up and interesting, shared, etc.

    • electronician profile image

      Dean Walsh 3 years ago from Birmingham, England

      That's a good philosophy Sue

    • Sue Adams profile image

      Juliette Kando 3 years ago from Andalusia

      Although it is true that most small children act happier than adults because they tend to live more in the present, adults with a rich life's experiences have learned to better themselves towards liking themselves better, or at the least to accept themselves as they are and get on with it. Having said that, perhaps children are just better at expressing their emotions. They laugh a lot more, but then again, they also cry a lot more than adults. My philosophy is to never forget or lose the child within myself. That keeps me happy.

    • electronician profile image

      Dean Walsh 3 years ago from Birmingham, England

      Beautiful hub Sue, I enjoyed the proverb. When I was younger I struggled a lot with this question, often wishing I was someone else, not liking myself, and not really having a clue how to answer the question 'who am I' - something I often pondered.

      Fortunately as I grew older I realized more that I am whoever I choose to be, and that whatever I find myself being is in some way because of the choices I've made, and that there were reasons for those choices.

      What they say about your school days being the happiest of your life is rubbish if you ask me; I've gradually become more comfortable with who I am and happier as a result as I've got older.

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