Revenge won't get you anywhere and it will change you even if you "get away" with it.
Take the energy of your anger and do a thorough search on what you can do about it. Begin here http://www.mayoclinic.com/ if you like but use medical sites. Discover it you have HSV1 or HSV2. HSV1 commonly results in fever blisters or cold sores on the lips.
Find some support groups, educate yourself and your family. Here is another site: http://www.herpesonline.org/. I found those in the brief time it took to respond to you. They offer an over the counter treatment, but NO over the counter treatments work...so ignore that page.
There are 3 prescriptive medications approved for the treatment of herpes. They work by interfering with DNA synthesis to prevent the virus from reproducing. The directions for each medication vary, so pay close attention to the frequency of taking the medication. Herpes treatment options include:
* Acyclovir (Zovirax): This is the oldest and there is a generic of this medication so it is cheaper.
* Famcyclovir (Famvir)
* Valacyclovir (Valtrex): There should be a generic of this medication in approximately one year.
Tackling this head on and not letting it eat you away is the best response. Find a way to forgive yourself, focus on you, not the ex.
You may also consider that you may have to contact any sexual partners you had between the ex and your wife to let them know. In the end, you are a good person with herpes.