I had no other choice. I have an allergy to alcohol that caused me to be unable to stop drinking once I started. I dragged myself, stinking, puking, rage-filled and ashamed into the rooms. I was beat. I was defeated. I was going to die. I knew from years of watching my own father transform into a real human being again that something in those rooms could get me to stop drinking alcohol. No no no... there was much more than that. I get to BE. I LIVE. I did what I was told. I was willing to do anything in the world to never have to take another drink. I HAD to drink to live.
I grabbed another woman and asked her to sponsor me, which is just having another experienced recovered alcoholic guide you through the 12 steps. I did what I was told for once in my life because I didn't want to DIE. I had to. All she wanted me to do was to do these simple steps. So I did. The compulsion to drink LEFT me. It is gone. I replaced my thoughts and ideas with brand-new ones. I gathered a concept of God and today I don't go anywhere without Him...It...whatever it is. God CAN and DOES do for me what I cannot to for myself. Today I have an opportunity to do what my sponsor did for me and help another defeated alcoholics gain freedom and life and truth. I can help.
My life is no longer one of bitter resentments, anger, pain, ignorance, self-loathe, pity, insanity and hate. Today I have serenity, peace, a feeling of one-ness, of being whole, complete, and full. I have a new reality. Just goodness, love, helpful, peace, sanctity and rest. My life is no longer over. I have a purpose. I have potential. I am growing up little by little, every day.
This fellowship has seriously changed millions of lives. A cult, no, that's ignorant. No one says, "Man I'd LOVE to go to AA! Yes, utter defeat!!" It has been for me, a place to get a life. To find an answer that is not going to kill me. A way out. The last house on the left for most of us. All that is left. And it works. If you want it bad enough. If you need it bad enough. If you want to get better and are willing. It works. I owe my life to this program and I am forver grateful and will continue to do what I can everyday to pay back what it has done for me.