Been their Kris. Tried and somehow failed. When I saw the devastation it left on my family and friends I came to my senses at how unfair it was to have made that choice. I don't have the right, nor do you, to take your life. First of all, because God gave you life and has said we should not murder even ourselves. Second, to leave that kind of devastation to those you love is extremely unfair. The suffering you create to your loved ones is a grave sin.
All that being said, I got help, but was still suicidal off an on for many months. But I doubled my efforts to get the help and follow my treatment plan to the letter. I admit, I had to call the suicide hotline several times. I couldn't stand the pain anymore, but I thought of my family and how frightened and devastaed they were when I tried before. I could not do that to them. Go to a hospital emergency room if you are suicidal.
One time, a crisis line worker told me that there is a very high rate of suicide to family members whose loved one has committed suicide. I know how hard it is, but it is not the answer. Know you are loved by many and most importantly by God your Creator. There is help, there is hope, reach out and find it.