Hi Nell, boy, do I know where you are at. I stayed in an abusive marriage for 25 years because I could not support myself and my 4 kids. Finally, I fell into a deep depression and ended up in a psyche ward for suicidal plans. When I got to the hospital I felt so relieved, and I told myself right then, I am not going back. I don't believe in divorce, God hates divorce. But abuse and womanizing is grounds for divorce. I didn't know where I was going to go, I had nothing but the clothes on my back. I had no money, nothing. I had a 17 yr old and a 7 yr old at home. I was not well enough to care for them. But, I had a God who provided me with a place to stay when I got out with some friends from my church. 6 months later I was allowed to go back to work, I found a place of my own to live and I got custody of my young boy.
I don't know your circumstances as to why you can't leave. So I don't have full-proof pat answer. But there are a lot of good ideas here. Find your privacy in the house, seek outside activities and friendships if you are able, and look for outside help through social services if you qualify. But the first thing I would recommend is turning to God. As the ComfortB said, God loves you oh so very much. He knows your needs, and he is the great provider. Seek him through Jesus Christ. I know the people who suggested wine and vodka mean well, but that is not the answer. You need a quality life where you do not need to rely on addictive substances.
If you have insurance or medicaid or medicare, get yourself some help with a doctor and therapist who can help you manage the depression and anxiety attacks.
You are in God's hands Nell, He will never leave you nor forsake you. Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not rely on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your path. Proverbs 3:5-6