Do you ever feel trapped? That horrible I want to escape feeling, how do you cop

1. 91

   Nell Roseposted 12 years ago

   Do you ever feel trapped? That horrible I want to escape feeling, how do you cope?
   
   I sometimes feel so trapped within the home that I live in with my ex, that I get panic attacks. There is no way that I can move, and now my son has moved away, I feel worse. Any ideas how to get out of this horrible cycle? Thanks
   
   

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2. 60

   Lovesloveposted 12 years ago

   Hi Nell...yes I feel that way sometimes,and sometimes I cry floods of tears for no aparant reason but I have some special CD's that mean a lot to me ,some soothing music and some romantic songs,I sit in a comfy chair with a Vodka and Coke eyes closed and play the music ....A walk helps as well I love to walk on the beach with my little dog or get on my bike and ride off into the country over the fields for a few miles      I hope you feel better soon XX

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   cooldadposted 12 years ago

   As hard as it may seem, I think you should get out of the situation no matter what.  The longer you stay, the worse it will get.  Sure, you can get medication to help, but that only numbs the true pain and the real problem won't go away.  I'm sorry that you have to deal with that, can't be fun.

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   Pinkchic18posted 12 years ago

   Nell,
   My suggestion is to find a hobby and get out of the house. I would look into moving if you could, and start fresh. But if you can't, then just find things that you love to do outside of your home. Take a class that you're interested in, maybe it's pottery, painting, sewing, cooking, etc. Another thing you can try is a book club if you like to read, it'll give you something to do while you're home and somewhere to go when you want to get away. You could even join a wine club or networking group to meet new friends and socialize. Hang in there, it does get better!

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5. 91

   Nell Roseposted 12 years ago

   Thanks guys, it is difficult, if I can just find the 'old me' somewhere floating around, then I may just start to do something. Thanks for the great ideas.

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   Will Apseposted 12 years ago

   My whole life has been an escape. I never settled into any kind of pattern. I am lucky to be living out what is probably the last period of my life in some comfort with a woman who is extremely tolerant of all my idiosyncrasies. I had to run a long way to find this particular sanctuary- rural Thailand.
   
   One thing I have learnt is that everything changes and I hope things change for you too.

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   saddlerider1posted 12 years ago

   My sweet Nell. I know where your coming from and I to suffered under a roof for many years. It pained me so much, yet I had a family I had to stay for. Every day was agonizing living with my partner and I was torn should I go or should I stay.
   
   I agonized for years, yet never left. Put up with a lot and my anger built as well. I finally threw the towel in the ring and gave up, walked out and told her, I have a life and I am dying here and unless I leave, you will be burying me and I am not going to let you do that to me.
   
   I sacrificed my children and she assured me that I would pay dearly and guess what? I surely did, plenty not only in dollars but she insured that by divorcing her, she would divorce my children from me. The BIGGEST LOSS I live with to this day is the LOSS of the LOVE of 3 of my 4 children.
   
   But believe me Nell, I am a FREE MAN and can breathe and smell the roses, travel, and enjoy my single life. I have to tell you the only way out of your HELL is to climb from it, leave it, run as fast as you can and don't look back.
   
   Live your life, don't let anyone else live it for you. We only have this one go around, so make it count. FIND YOUR WINGS and fly. Peace and hugs from the Saddle.

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   CMHypnoposted 12 years ago

   Hi Nell, have you spoken to your local housing department or social services about your situation? Maybe they could help you to get rehoused?  Also speak to your GP and ask if he could refer you for counselling or Cognitive Behavioural Therapy to help you with your panic attacks.

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   thebluestarposted 12 years ago

   Every one feels trapped at some time or another sweet girl, and I know exactly where you are coming from. I was totally devastated when my only son moved out to live with his girlfriend. It was so bad that I grieved for him. I wondered around the house looking for the old sock in a wardrobe or under the bed just to hold and know that he had been there. I still mourn for him so much, even more now that I have a grandson and barely see them.
   
   I feel trapped emotionally at the moment because I can't understand what I want from life now. As I have got older my time is spent on loving everyone else that I don't spend time for me. I take prozac but I know that it isn't the answer.
   
   I love to walk the dog and spend time with my horse in the field. If all else fails a glass of wine helps. But I don't over do it. x

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10. 60

    sanatharaposted 12 years ago

    Hi Nell, as you said it's difficult for you to leave from that trapped feeling, so I would rather suggest you to Do Yoga with breathing exercise. Follow  two Pranayams- 'Kapalbhati' and "Anulom Vilom'. You will feel very fresh by doing this regularly.If you follow this regularly it will help you a lot in dealing with your stress and 'run away' feeling.
    There are many aasans in yoga which help in reducing stress.Follow all these with yoga, I assure you you will feel better.Yoga, Pranayam, meditation and easy aasans work like miracle. Be positive. With positivity you can overcome this situation.Best of Luck.

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    Cardisaposted 12 years ago

    I feel that way now and then, in the past it was more often. I was depressed so that was why I felt that way. Recently I was in a job I wanted to leave but I had goals so I would focus on my goals when I felt trapped. I was fired for something really simple and I felt so free. It's like God answered my prayers because even though I wanted to leave he allowed me to get fired so I would leave with some money.
    
    When I was depressed I can't tell you that I coped because I didn't I was overwhelmed with that feeling of being trapped and suffocating.

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    Dardiaposted 12 years ago

    Hi Nell, I agree with saddlerider if it is the ex that is making you feel trapped. If it is your own mind, however, there are many other options as well. Since you are a writer you could escape in a fiction you create. I have found meditation to be wonderful, as I often feel trapped in my home, not only because of my family but my own desires to go and see the world. I guess since I am unable to travel I enjoy reading the many posts on hubpages about different places. i hope you manage an escape from whatever is holding you captive.
    
    + Darlene

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    Peggy Wposted 12 years ago

    Dearest Nell,
    
    Although I have never lived in a situation like yours, I can sympathize.  You have already gotten such good advice from many people so I need not add more.  Just know that your online hubbers care about you and will be hoping for the best enventual outcome for you.  We are in your corner!

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    ComfortBposted 12 years ago

    Dear Nell, Jesus loves you and He wants you to know that. Whatever you feel right now, know this, God felt it right there as he hunged on the cross. He felt your pain, and He is waiting for you to let Him in your heart. You don't have to feel trapped. Ask Jesus into your heart today and He will ease your pain.
    
    You are of great worth. And as many on here have said, find your purpose, get involve in your community. You can volunteer at a nursing home or community center.  Get out there and do something for others, for in doing for others we do find fulfillment.
    
    May the good Lord bless and keep you. May you come to know His peace that surpasses all understanding, and may you find such joy and fulfillment in your daily life as you rise above your circumstances, In Jesus' name - Amen.

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    IntuitiveMindposted 12 years ago

    I assume that you and your ex live together because of financial reasons. Therefore, I understand that moving is not an option. What can be done is to make sure you have sufficient space and privacy. Some suggestions would be:
    Start a little project....(do something you've been putting off?)
    Make your home your sanctuary with whatever makes you feel cozy and comfortable....(re-decorate?)
    Do some gardening if possible or an outdoor activity you like....
    Get out of the house as often as you can ....(hobbies?)
    Maybe a small dog or pet would help you feel better because they show you unconditional love.  Pets are there to just love you and they definitely put a smile on your face
    Working with a charity or help a family member in need: I say this because the more you think about others, the less you think about your own situation.
    This is your time now, especially with your son out of the house; so take the time to work on YOU!

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    Hyphenbirdposted 12 years ago

    We have a huge basement space in our home, with 4 rooms. We can make it pretty and you can live in it! We can create a HP heaven. Love, Hyph

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    lavender3957posted 12 years ago

    I feel trapped all the time. I feel like I am suffocating. Panic anxiety sets in alot. I am on medication to treat the panic attacks and was told to keep myself busy. So now I cope with this situation with projects as crocheting, learning piano, taking the grandkids more often, doing alot of things to keep me busy. I usually relax at night before bed with a cup of tea and a good book. This does help me cope but does not get rid of the problem.

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    Borsiaposted 12 years ago

    Yes I have been there and I recommend a change of continents. I think one has to fill a certain amount of wanderlust coming out of a stale situation.
    Like several others here I was in a bad relationship that lasted 27 years, about 15 years longer than it should have. Fortunately I have no children and no real ties.
    One day I will find another serious relationship whether it will be here in South America or somewhere else is hard to say.
    I lived in China for 2 years and I have been here going on 3 years and I'm starting to itch. I saw a copy of Islands magazine talking about the PIs. So sometime around next January I will decide.

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    lambservantposted 12 years ago

    Hi Nell, boy, do I know where you are at. I stayed in an abusive marriage for 25 years because I could not support myself and my 4 kids. Finally, I fell into a deep depression and ended up in a psyche ward for suicidal plans. When I got to the hospital I felt so relieved, and I told myself right then, I am not going back. I don't believe in divorce, God hates divorce. But abuse and womanizing is grounds for divorce. I didn't know where I was going to go, I had nothing but the clothes on my back. I had no money, nothing. I had a 17 yr old and a 7 yr old at home. I was not well enough to care for them. But, I had a God who provided me with a place to stay when I got out with some friends from my church. 6 months later I was allowed to go back to work, I found a place of my own to live and I got custody of my young boy.
    
    I don't know your circumstances as to why you can't leave. So I don't have full-proof pat answer. But there are a lot of good ideas here. Find your privacy in the house, seek outside activities and friendships if you are able, and look for outside help through social services if you qualify. But the first thing I would recommend is turning to God. As the ComfortB said, God loves you oh so very much. He knows your needs, and he is the great provider. Seek him through Jesus Christ. I know the people who suggested wine and vodka mean well, but that is not the answer. You need a quality life where you do not need to rely on addictive substances.
    
    If you have insurance or medicaid or medicare, get yourself some help with a doctor and therapist who can help you manage the depression and anxiety attacks.
    
    You are in God's hands Nell, He will never leave you nor forsake you. Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not rely on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your path. Proverbs 3:5-6

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