I really believe there are many answers to this question and they all depend on the family members AND you.
What Duffsmom made reference to is true some people simply cannot put themselves in others shoes.
But they may also be jealous, worried, tired of someone who has a valid reason to complain...complaining about their trials, etc,.
I recently had a family member tell me in no uncertain terms not the use the word "disabled" around them when speaking about myself.
I feel your pain, I really do. But please take a step back and see if there is anything you may doing that could be adding the problem. I'm not implying that you are. I'm just saying...
And sometimes confronting them in a civil and curious manner may get you the answer you seek. You never know until you ask.
Actually I think I'll make my hub for the day one that tries to better answer your question as I have much experience on the matter.
I wish you the very best and pray you find relief from your pain and recieve the love you deserve not the sneers of the unknown.