I agree with all the comments here. I've been exploring this question for 30 years, and the best answer I've found is in "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People" by Stephen R. Covey. His idea, in my words, is that there are four agreements to the freedom to choose, or to self-control:
self-awareness: Know what we are doing, and what we feel like doing before we do it.
imagination: Whenever we think there is only one option, come up with a second. When there are two, find three. Once there are three, you will see that there are many choices.
conscience: First, do no harm to yourself and others. Then, in a responsible way, add joy or goodness to life.
independent will: realize that it's not your genetics, or society, or your parents. Whatever influences are acting on you, the choice is yours, and you will live with the consequences.
Practice each of these ingredients with each breath of each day. Meditation helps, as does keeping a journal, as does yelling at the ocean, if you have to. Go for it!