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I'd like to think that all readers here would appreciate such heartfelt and personal sharing. I do. If anything, the world 'could use' more of this type of honest expression from the heart. It is difficult, but worthwhile to go deeper into feelings.
Thank you for sharing this wonderful, though sad, story. It is indeed a fantastic tribute to your mother, her life, her tremendous strength and creativity, and her love of you, your siblings, and life in general. I wish you and your mother the best!
My heart goes out to you are your family, thank you for sharing your story. Your mother sounds like an amazing woman!
I would call it Love. How fortunate you all are to have lived together as family and to loved each other as mother and child! Blessings to you all!
Thanks for sharing that with us. I hope Phyllis can recover well from this. It's been such a bad year for these things, and my own gran has suffered terribly too. She's doing a lot better now. I hope for the same for your mother.
Fun answer! I can SO relate! Especially to the part about guys who already have kids.
The fun part REALLY is that now that I'm almost 40 and still look like a 30 kindish girl, boys of 23 hit on me (which is NICE) but the semi-bold kind of sugardads seem to have no problem at all with an age difference of 20 years or more. But I DO!
You see this in yourself, and that is the essential sight.
Thank you for responding, Laura. It may sound trite but is sincere, I wish you the best.
Laura, I know very little about pain (physical pain) but I know there are many who live with chronic pain, and I admire them for going forward with their lives in spite of the pain. I wish for you strength and stamina.
Debbie, you wrote what I would like to have said to Laura. Thank you!
Thanks, E.P. and debbiepinkston! Strength and stamina are indeed important--it's a mental game as much as anything, and some days I'm stronger than others. Today is a very good day for me, as I hope it is for both of you, also.
Pick just a few priorities and be sure you can easily get them done in a day. Then, pick something fun to do. Then, if there is time left, do more work. One little bite at a time... The tortoise and the hare both finished the race, you will, too.
I like the way you expressed it. Though you did not ask for suggestions and it may not apply, I will say that by being more true to myself, relating to others has become more natural. It is an ongoing learning, isn't it.
Emanate, I have to say, that I like the question you posed!
I know exactly what you mean! I have the same trouble, and yet I can't help but assume everyone is honest and forthright and will follow "The Rules" (for whatever situation we're in). I like how you say, "I'm knocked off balance"--that's me, too.
Good to be aware of it. Would like to know sometime how you sort it out.
My $0.02 is that if you're truly "passionate" about them, then even if you set some things aside for awhile you'll still enjoy them when you pick them up again--they won't gather dust or mold while you work on other passions, in my experience anyway.
I like Laura's comment. I am always tip-toeing to avoid stepping on someone's toes, but Laura just says it as she sees it. That approach has merit.
Thanks for the compliment, E.P., but my big mouth gets me in trouble frequently, too, as you can imagine. :-)
Being depressed is the most awful feeling the world!
I'm sorry you feel that way, but you are not alone.
Hi HoneyBB. I kinda' know what I think you mean, yet it may be a tad different. For me it's like running a cross country course. I just ran up a hill (Christmas holiday), then came down the back side & now there is a short but steep rise. (New Ye
Reading your stuff, kiddo. Chin up!
Loved your heartful and insightful poem. What beautiful imagery and truth!
Thanks for asking this question Emanate. It seems to be therapeutic for people including me. I feel better already.
You just got another reader and follower! Don't fight what you feel - write it and share it (poetry), use it and understand it.
Patience, HoneyBB: traffic will come to your pages!
Re: depression, see: https://hubpages.com/health/Types_Of_Depression
and here's a good self-test to see if you have it:
I know exactly what you mean, and have felt the same way. Do feel the same way...maybe I myself have been in denial, but I think I am struggling with depression as well. However, unemployed with no insurance, i have no way to pay for any treatment.
Good luck, SD Dickens ( hi again :-) ). I've heard from many people that 12-year-olds are like a bigger/magnified reflection of "The Terrible Twos". Good luck with the homework problem and the balancing act--you can do it, I'm sure: you're talented.
This doesn't mean that there is something wrong with you or your thinking, it shows you have many and varried interests--a flexible, thinking mind. You need to pick a major, but which one may not matter so much. You can have several careers in life.
Barbara Sher actually wrote a book about this: Refuse to Choose! She calls such people "scanners," and gives advice on how to handle the traits they have. Basically, pick a new pursuit every month (after a bit of organizing) and go for it.
Finding out what we want to do is secondary to knowing who we really are...and are not. Discover that first, and all the rest will follow easily!
Maybe the path to "being" is through "doing".
Moesky has a good point. I found that it is not 'what' I do but 'how' I do it. That is, the quality of attention I give to the task at hand. My ego still protests at times, but it seems its voice is growing quieter.
Excellent answers, all of you! My brain is going a mile a minute contemplating what you all have said. I'll be thinking about these questions and answers for quite awhile--thanks for the inspirations!
It can be a slog at times. Sounds like you're ready for a complete turn around - escape from your dependency on the system. Start with asking yourself what you REALLY love to do.
I 'second the motion' on Moesky's comment. May not be as easy as the book title suggests, "Do what you love and the money will follow," or money may follow a looong way behind. Starting by asking yourself what you really love to do is sound advice.
You don't ever get over it, but you learn to live with it and be happy in spite of the loss. It takes a long time to recover; be kind to yourself in the meantime. If the love of your life is worth it, he will be there to help you through.
I have nothing to add to AMFredenburg's words, just to send my understanding from experience and agree that you learn to live with it.
I'm really sorry for your loss. As far as the depression goes, seek help and good medication. It won't go away by itself. I know this from experience and also know there will be a day, that you'll wake up with new and positive energy. I'm sure!
Thank you, you words are a comfort. I will work on taking better care of myself. I know, over time, it will be easier to cope with. It's been a year and a half, but time has not made it easier. But I need to honor her by living life to the fullest.
What a wonderful set of choices to have. Many people see no path at all! I know you will know when the time is right though the path may not be certain.
I have this problem too. Too many paths and only two legs (attached). Went right back to the essence of my passion and turned all the different paths into one "wider" path.
Are you a pathfinder or a trailblazer, Moesky? You chose a proactive and creative approach.
Follow one path for awhile, then another: they may even intersect later in some creative, unpredictable way.
good luck! stay focused! i know how tough it can be!
Well put, and honest. This time too shall pass and you will find your place.
I'm rooting for you! The job market is utterly brutal, but believe in yourself. Don't job-hunt all day--there is only so much a person can handle. Do volunteer work while you're looking--good refences, networking, and experience for your resume!
You can do it. See yourself as whole and healed...I do!
like wise here lady wordsmith my mother cut me off in her life too 22 years ago but not because she is ill because she run away with another man.
Do you mean to add the Poll capsule? You could create a poll to ask your question and let reader choose their response, within a hub.
Sleep is good too. I do some of my best work in my sleep. Of course there is a balance.
I agree with E.P. (again/as usual). Note that different people need different amounts of sleep: maybe your body just requires more than someone else's or the "average" 8 hours.
Call Erin Brockovich...She'll get them on their toes!
I really hope they help you real soon. It's a shame that people have to go through so much for what they are entitled to.
Perhaps call your Attorney General and ask for help. Or, as HoneyBB says, hire your own attorney to intervene. The cost of a lawyer might be money well-spent and take some of the worries off your mind: you have an advocate in your corner, then.
This is an interesting challenge to explore, to discover what plays beneath the worry (as Kati says, we 'displore'.) Have you found any clues?
Sounds to me like a mild case of depression, treatable by meds in a few weeks. (Yes, you can be an optimist and happy and still have depression.) Here's a good self-test to see if you have it: http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/interactive/interactive
Yes Gary, it's just that, an interesting challenge.Frustrations of the last years create emotional habits that I have to break. Laura, thanks, but it really isn't depression, believe me. But if it was it'd be a challenge to deal with it without meds.
When Kati and I face this type of challenge, we may say to each other, 'Lets get to the root of it.' It is easier, of course, having a mirror. But you do well to look at it in yourself. I know you are on the path and finding your own way.
Saving your family may be the direct result of the work you are doing on your self! Hang in there, we're with you!
"What lies behind us and what lies before us are small matters compared to what lies within us." - Ralph Waldo Emerson