And how can a person who chooses to be self-contained and emotionally mature move beyond these needs? I see the causes for seeking attention, etc., in myself, have chosen to move beyond them, and have found (through personal reflection, intuitive knowing and life experience) ways that work well for me. I am interested to read what others will share.
sort by best latest
Excellent. The way out of the mental self-imprisonment of neediness for attention/approval is a shift in the way one looks at oneself and the world. It is helpful to *feel* the grand design, the greater reality - to experience it in the body. Thanks!
Research to support Left-Right brain localization has been refuted...
Sid, I say, whatever works for people is worthwhile. As you know from our conversations, I like to go beyond facts and figures (connorj's research) as I feel there is natural intelligence beyond the intellect and academics. Still they have a place.
ConnorJ, we agree. That's why I put "right brain" in quotes. Localization is still a problem, and neocortical integration the solution. Emanate, we each find our own way. I do, and then share repeatable processes all can learn.
'My personal favorite is meditation, based in Zen, that integrates all six neural centers.' - from this I am interested to know more. You said earlier you are writing a book?
Idono, you have made an astute observation. Huge ego and low self esteem are the same as 'incomplete human' (comment to Darksage.) How can this be addressed? Self-awareness, passion to be whole, and relentless inner work. Letting go & re- pattern
I think it starts with being honest with one's self. That creates foundation to build on that can possibly attract attention to what you do, rather than the image you try to project. Then, attention just happens. Creating attention no longer needed.
Nothing needs to be added to make us whole. We just need to discover all of our parts, actualize each, and integrate them in harmony. (That's body, mind, and more, not just mental/brain functions.)
Sid, 'We just need to discover all of our parts, actualize each, and integrate them in harmony.' - Well said. Will look into this further....
Yes, I understand this, and do not contradict you. I am wondering though, are we 'whole humans'? Or are we incomplete, functioning at far less than our wholeness because we don't face issues like neediness for attention and growing into maturity?
I believe that we are not yet "whole" as we are born without much knowledge, but this knowledge is earned as we grow older. And yes, we are incomplete without others, as to say once again that we are social creatures.
It would be great to sit over a cup of coffee and talk about this. The comment section is so limited. I feel that being complete in oneself first, without dependency on others, is essential. Each person whole in themselves makes a healthier society.
And do you feel personally that moving completely beyond this stage is possible and desirable? I do see evidence that the feeling of a lack of attention in childhood can haunt a person through life if not consciously addressed. Great significance!
Yes indeed Emanate P, I do believe Jean Piaget would have concluded the same, that is, that it is possible to move beyond this stage, many do and it is indeed desirable. Research supports lack of attention affecting many children later in life...
connorj, I looked up Jean Piaget. He declared in 1934 that "only education is capable of saving our societies from possible collapse, whether violent, or gradual." What groups are working with processes and tools developed from research like his?
Emanate, the whole field of Emotional Intelligence has followed up on Piaget's theme. See Goleman (1996). Also Joseph Chilton Pearce (Magical Child Matures, and other works). Also the HeartMath Institute.
Sid, interesting. I visited HeartMath Insititute in Boulder Creek, California and did not know the connection. Thanks.
Yes, leaving the group is a way to not make oneself small by striving for a feeling of acceptance or belonging. Staying self-contained and true to oneself while participating in such a group can be isolating - unless a person is also self-content.