I know. Weird ? But sometimes, we fear getting to a moment of truth more than the truth itself. Is it the anticipation that can be more stressful than the result? Is it the fear of the unknown? Do we look at dying as an event and death the result of that event? Chime in!
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And I'm sure your family isn't ready for you to go. Unfortunately, death doesn't wait for you to be prepared. If it did, we'd live forever. Whether financially, physically or spiritually, we just need to know that we did the best we could at the time
I feel it everyday! Every time I do something to help another alcoholic stay sober, it feels good to give back what was so freely given to me. Mine is a debt of gratitude which can never be paid off. I can feel that until life's end, if I choose.