two days ago I found out someone I went to high school with committed suicide. It was unbelievable and left me speechless. We were friends, a little more than acquaintances, and I always had a crush on him. If I can't find words for this, only disbelief, it has to be 100X harder for his close friends and family. I almost feel as if I don't have the right to feel so sad about his death, but then I remember that we can't control how we feel and if it makes me sad, then it makes me sad. I am allowed to mourn the death of someone I knew, someone I shared classes with, and someone I cared about.
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Thank you very much for this comment. Very touchy subject and extremely hard to deal with. His funeral is tomorrow and I along with classmates will be attending.
That must have been devastating liesl. My most sincere condolences. However, hard it must have been, and still is, I wish you the strength to carry through it. Did I mention you're an unsung hero choosing your siblings over work? Props for you!