An interesting question and really I would do too much pondering. Sharing a recent experience last Friday (02/16/16) a friend told his manager of a plant nursery once a former mate in relationship saying to her his body felt ill and with great headache. He is in his mid fifties living alone and she her early sixties. The next day she insisted he go the emergency room of the local hospital and took him there. After a short time of waiting she pleaded he be looked at because of his misery.
Alas, he had a real big problem with his heart being his aorta and that valve it led to. The doctor told him an operation was a must because he had maybe 3 or 4 hours. He had to make a decision to undergo the surgery or cash in his chips. He decided . . . today he is in ICU one week later with respirator still. He only awakens when they slow or stop medication and is very agitated when done. No reason why, though the nurses say happens at times.
Long story whereby the meaning for me is I ponder what it must of been like for him in those moments of decision. What thoughts did he have while undergoing prep? Was he concerned if fast enough to surgery, did his life pass before his eyes, and did he remember good or bad memories?
Did he have thoughts how him being somewhat financially poor worry how he would pay for his part of the surgery? What of where would the money arrive to pay for this prescribed four month recovery? Or, did he see the miracles of medicine with its doctors and surgeons bringing great hope not only for tomorrow, but really what would be 'next' in the time he was told he would remain alive?
I have pondered that this week bringing a mix of emotions empathizing with him while considered those kinds of thoughts for myself. Really while waiting the nine hours for his surgery there were many, many thoughts with what this question asks! Together she and I discussed a variety of topics at times sharing tears, yet deeper meanings arrived with family and friendships very prominent. Yes, there were many cups of coffee too that grew cold with our contemplation of life teaching us two with new wisdom. And. always a new cup full awaited us a tad more than tepid and comforting.