Sorry to hear that you are having a tough time. It is one of the most difficult things to do is to get help or ask for it when you need it most.
I can only imagine what is troubling you. I would say though, that if you can see a person you trust or a professional person face to face it is the best thing. Hope you are near family or friends and can share your present struggle.
A problem shared is a problem halved. Another person has a different perspective- often a more positive one.