blondeblogger profile image 60

Why am I not happy unless I fit in size zero jeans? Even then, I feel too fat....


I went from a happy size six in June 2008 to someone struggling to stay at 105 in a matter of months. I had two emebergency surgeries, but weren't the cause. I lost my godfather/hero/pastor to suicide, and I'll never get completely over it. When I am sad, I can't eat. In the past year, I've lost a godfather, a friend my age, two loves ones to cancer, and my perfectly healthy grandmother died the day they said she could leave the hospital. I feel like I've earned those size zeros. I lost control of EVERYTHING.... everything but my weight, which is why hunger makes me feel more powerful. Hmmm.

 
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Ellen Cumbess (Cumbesef) says

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