You have two kids you popped out, most likely with no more thought of consequences than a rabbit. You probably never questioned your culture and religion that frowns on abortion, so you didn't even consider abortion. You can't spell. Your grammar is poor. If you work at all, it's probably for minimum wage, as I would wager you have no skills. No wonder you are insecure.
You are "scrood". And the bimbos that need to read and heed this Q&A will never come across it -- except possibly after it is too late for them, as it seems to be for you.
Your only hope is to try and acquire some job skill. You can't count on your boyfriend being around forever, especially if the kids are not his. And good luck getting child support, since he was an idiot in the first place, if the kids are his.