It's good to hear from you. You didn't mention your age. If you are high school age, I would suggest joining, a sport team, or a chior. Yes a male figure can be a help, but if you are wise enough to know this - than find one! Joining a team may it be football or track or whatever there will be a male coach. Since I am a health nut, I devote a lot of time developing my body. Having a good looking body is very important me. I suggest to you to get started on a exercises routine. The better physical shape you are in the easier it will be to get accepted on a team. exercising and working out will make you feel good about your self, once you start seeing an improvement in your physical body, time will fly. You want have no time to feel bad and cry. it's not good for a man to cry, when ever you feel a crying jag coming on GET DOWN AND DO TEN PUSH-UPS!
Life is wonderful and soo short- it sounds like you have a lot to offer life. get back to your writing and stay the course.
I in the process of writing a hub on building broader shoulder by expanding the rib cage with my secret exercise. Should be published in a couple week, keep an eye out for it. Take it easy now.