I used to be afraid that if I died, my two kids would be left orphans (my husband passed away 5 years ago) and they didn't know how to take care of themselves.. I used to do everything for them. So I used tough love.. got them their own apartment, paid for the first and last months rent, and said you're on your own. That was two years ago.. my son was 22, dropped out of high school and refused to work.. my daughter just finished high school and didn't want to go to college. So they both got jobs and learned to survive, learned to cook, do the laundry and cared for each other. Now, my son is back to school finishing his high school in adult school because he wanted to be a policeman, and my daughter is planning to go to culinary school. She makes the best cheesecakes and her co-workers are happy to pay $10 for her cheesecake. They didn't speak to me for months. It almost killed me because I missed them so much. But it worked. Now I'm not afraid of dying and leaving them alone. I know they have each other, they are best friends... they will be ok.
Happy New Year!