Identify - Narcissist Male

Narcissistic Personality Disorder seems to be increasing in our society today. Certainly, many male characters on TV shows exhibit these symptoms. However, it is not exclusive to men. It seems to affect men more (estimated at 50-75%) but statistics vary. For the purpose of this article, we will review Lisa Scott's book, “It’s all about Him: How to Identify an Avoid the Narcissist Male.”

According to the American Psychological Association narcissist people have the following traits:

• a lack of feeling, empathy, or concern for others
• a willingness to take advantage of others
• excessive feelings of self-importance
• exaggerated personal achievements and abilities
• an expectation to be seen as superior without cause
• a fantasy or is a preoccupation with power, wealth, beauty, personal abilities, or success
• a demand for favorable treatment without appropriate reasons
• an insistence on being the object of admiration and attention

Narcissistic personality disorder produces a feeling of exaggerated self-worth and personal importance. To this person, the people and the world, in general, exist to verify their own superiority. It affects between 0.7 and 1% of the general population which isn’t too bad statistically unless you are married to one or have one as a boyfriend. It certainly negatively affects families and life patterns. The cause of this disorder is unknown and tends to develop in early adulthood. Self-confidence and narcissism are two different things.

Mayo Clinic has a list of risk factors that might foster this personality:

• Parental disdain for fears and needs expressed during childhood
• Lack of affection and praise during childhood
• Neglect and emotional abuse in childhood
• Unpredictable or unreliable caregiving from parents
• Learning manipulative behaviors from parents

Lisa Scott is described as a “quintessential Midwestern American girl next door” from Chicago. She received her Bachelor of Science degree in communication from Ohio University and her Master of Science in Human Resources from Loyola University In Chicago. “Lisa‘s first-hand experience falling for not one, but two pathological narcissists are what led her to write ‘It’s All About Him. ‘ This is her first work of a personal nature. It aims to connect with readers in a way that helps them understand the narcissists in their lives.” Her goal is to increase give support and understanding about coping with this type of relationship

In Lisa Scott’s book she asks, “Ever wonder why your guy can’t seem to understand you? Does he just seem incapable of empathizing with you?” She further stated that these guys are narcissists and it has nothing to do with you because it is all about him.

She combines current scientific research examining the traits of pathological narcissism. She uses clear examples from her own experience which have helped her understand why she falls for these guys. She examines “Why he does what he does.” She also talks about moving on with your life after you’ve been hurt, and how to prevent the heartache that comes from falling in love with a narcissist before you or someone you care about gets hurt.

Lisa Scott says there are seven characteristics that she uses to spot a narcissist:

• Is controlling and manipulative
• Is obsessed with his physical image
• Avoids intimacy and sex
• Can’t describe love
• Finds no joy in giving
• Acts as if you do not exist
• Escapes or disappears

A narcissist will make leaving the relationship difficult, and they are very good at convincing you to make you think you’re the crazy one. The problem increases as you start to believe his lies. Once you’re free and starting a new relationship, lay some ground rules from the beginning. We all need boundaries where we are respected and feel valued in a personal relationship. If you recognize the above characteristics in a man or woman, its time to re-evaluate the relationship and probably break it off.