ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Borderline Personality Disorder and Sexual Orientation

Updated on November 10, 2017
Bisexual
Bisexual | Source

Borderline Personality and Identity

Most people with BPD (borderline personality disorder) experience frustration with their sexuality at some point in their lives. Many with BPD identify as bisexual since there is a definite tendency for those with the disorder to be interested in both men and women during their lives. But "bisexual" doesn't quite describe the way that BPD sexuality typically works.

People with BPD experience difficulty with holding onto one particular identity throughout their lives. Instead, a person with BPD has an identity that is very fluid and ever-changing, much more so than someone's personality is without BPD. This applies to major interests in life: career paths, friendships, and core beliefs. It also applies to minor things that people use to define their personality: hair color, taste in music, fashion sense. It also applies to a person's sexuality.

All or Nothing - How BPD Affects Sexuality

While sexual orientation is not a choice, borderline personality disorder does play a role in a person's sexual preference. The disorder can sway a person all the way to one side or all the way to the other, when naturally, they might have lingered somewhere mid-spectrum.

That's why, while many individuals with BPD identify as bisexual, being bisexual with borderline personality disorder is very different than being bisexual without BPD.

A large percentage of people with BPD are technically bisexual: they're interested in both men and women. However, the frustration for many bisexual people with borderline personality disorder is that their interest can swing from men all the way over to women, and vice versa, without much notice.

This is connected to one of the hallmark symptoms of borderline personality disorder, known as "black and white thinking".

Borderline Personality and Black and White Thinking

Black and White Thinking- Black and White Woman and Clouds
Black and White Thinking- Black and White Woman and Clouds | Source

Promiscuity, Bisexuality and Borderline Personality Disorder

Many people, including psychiatrists, label this type of flexibility as "promiscuity". While suffering from such an isolating disorder can sometimes cause a person to turn to sexual contact for comfort, that is a very separate issue from this one, and should not be combined into the same category.

"Sexual promiscuity" is a term often similarly used to define bisexuality, simply because of a general lack of understanding of the science and psychology of individuals who are attracted to both genders. It is not about just liking "anything and everything," as is commonly thought. In fact, most bisexual individuals, with BPD or without, have very exacting and very particular tastes, preferences, and types--even more so than their heterosexual counterparts.

cuddling lions
cuddling lions

Mindfulness and Borderline Personality Disorder

While there's nothing wrong with bisexuality or varying preferences, those with borderline personality disorder may find themselves on a wild rollercoaster of changing identities and interests. This applies to romance and sexuality, but also to nearly every other aspect of life.

Mindfulness is an essential part of slowing down that wild ride and gaining back control. With workbooks like the Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook and others, learning mindfulness is something you can do at home, on your own time.

Even if you're considering joining a DBT (dialectical behavioral therapy) group, which is highly recommended for those struggling with BPD and their loved ones, or you're goinig to one-on-one DBT therapy, working through a self-help workbook can be a great intro or supplement to those treatments.

Reinvention and Healing from BPD

People with BPD are the masters of reinvention, which is often looked at as flawed, or as "dishonest," when in reality, it can simply be an advantageous personality trait. People with borderline have difficulty finding a permanent sense of self and settling on one identity to carry through their entire lives, which can cause an internal struggle if the person doesn't see the positive side of this trait and appreciate his or her individual peculiarities.

But when a person accepts this fluid type of personality, it actually allows him or her to live a very fulfilling, and exceptionally eclectic, life. Like cats have 9 lives, so do those with borderline personality disorder.

And even though the sexuality of a person with borderline personality disorder may be just as fluid and prone to change, it does not mean that they are less capable of love. Studies actually show that long-term devoted love and sexual preference are separate, but that they do influence each other. So, with a partner who understands this part of you, just like any other personality trait, a person with borderline personality disorder can have a long and happy relationship with someone who they are devoted to, physically and emotionally.

© 2015 Sarah B

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • Warisha Kamran profile image

      warisha Kamran 

      13 months ago from New Delhi

      Nicely Done!

      Keep it up

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)