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Complete The Circle Of Love

Updated on March 27, 2012
A children's pain lingers for a lifetime
A children's pain lingers for a lifetime | Source

Many people, when the hear the word abuse in regards to a child they think physical abuse yet, there are many forms of abuse the children endure. The most violent is the physical aspect, accompanied by neglect, verbal, sexual, medical neglect, physiological neglect, mutational neglect and emotional neglect. Any of the above make the difference between a child brought up with love and understanding to a child who is raised to have a void in their heart. These children don't realize that they are the victims, they are meant to believe that something in wrong with them when it's the total opposite.

There is no way to forget about the abuse you've suffered, this will forever be a part of who you are and hope that you can move pass that part of your life and find happiness. I know a young lady who once said, since I didn't like the way I was raised or treated I will do the complete opposite, it's beats the alternative. To her that would be repeating the mistakes she felt her parents had. This isn't always easy because as children you learn from your parents and in her case she didn't like what they had to teach. When she found out she was pregnant she was petrified, what am I am I going to do,she asked herself. I have no idea how to take care of a baby, how can I care for a baby when I am still a child myself in many ways. This is true for anyone who was abused as a child. The different types of abuse don't allow a child to grow and mature they way most children their age do. Their mental stability has been diminished to a degree and they tend to be on the immature side, no fault of their own.

In today's world, their as so many types of services to help children, young adults and older adults who were abused and want to move past that experience, erase it from their lives and become better people, good parents and mend the circle of love that their parents broke. Local hospital offer parenting classes on how to care for a newborn from changing diapers, to bathing them, to feeding them and how to comfort them when they cry. They explain what the various types of crying mean, I am tired, I am wet, I am hungry, I want to be comforted and the it's just my fussy time.

With that in mind their are also therapist that specialize in helping the healing process, of addressing the anger issues, placing the fault at the feet of those who abused you and giving you steps to take in your healing process. By beginning therapy you will gain control of your life, remember you deserve the best, nothing less. All the crap you heard as a child came from someone who didn't move past their childhood abuse and instead continued the vicious circle of hate. You can control your destiny, break that circle of hate and replace it with a circle of love.

My fiance came from a very abusive environment and unfortunately wasn't able to get completely passed it, yet he began to break the circle of hate he was victim to and began to replace it with love. His best friend once told me that it was wonderful to see our daughter raised with love, to see her smiling because we smiled, to watch her and her daddy giving each other hugs which never happened during his childhood. Though he wasn't able to completely get passed and it did ultimately destroy him, he never expressed any of that hate towards our daughter. He adored her, was nothing but loving and gentle. All of his siblings were trying to do the complete opposite of their parents. The journey was longer for some than the others and some still have a ways to go. However, the circle of abuse has been broken and the circle of love has begun.


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    • Catzgendron profile image

      Catzgendron 6 years ago from North Chelmsford

      Thank you for your comments. Breaking that circle is very important and I just hope more people are able to follow suit.

    • nifwlseirff profile image

      Kymberly Fergusson 6 years ago from Villingen Schwenningen, Germany

      Parenting classes are definitely a good idea! And I agree that counselling and support groups are a must for survivors.

      I respect any person who came from an abusive background, who refuses to pass the same experience to the next generation. Choosing to stop the cycle should be easy and obvious, but too many seem to be unable.

      Thank you for a wonderful hub answer to my question!

    • d.william profile image

      d.william 6 years ago from Somewhere in the south

      What a wonderful article. You are right on the money. There should be mandatory parenting classes for all who plan to have children. Too often children are born into a family, society, religion that will ultimately destroy therm emotionally, mentally and physically. If these dangers are taught before the child is born, perhaps we can prevent some of the abuse that that goes on. But unfortunately, there are those people who are just plain unfit for parenthood, but there is nothing to prevent them from having children.

      It is just the luck of the draw which family you happen to be born into. Or is it? Some people believe that we choose our parents before we are born, for whatever reason, we come to this planet. A lesson to be learned? To help someone else? To repay our bad Karma in a previous lifetime? We can only speculate, and help the abused through their trauma the best we can.