coping with everyday life
Coping with tragedy
When I use the word tragedy it is not meant to talk of a break up or an antique vase becoming destroyed through an accident. The type of tragedy that I am talking about is the kind of tragedy that will leave you wounded for the rest of your life. The type of tragedy that there is no coming back from. Shakespeare wrote human tragedies, they were his most famous pieces of work...Yes he wrote comedies too, however the tragedies were far more popular over the years. Tragedies involve death and betrayal, deep betrayal.
Every family has lost a member or more in the duration of time. Some people do not cope well, and other don't at all. My family has suffered through several losses, I think what makes it harder to say good-bye is the fact that they all have died young. When my Great Grandmother died she was 97. She had lived a long life, I didn't cry...I reminded myself that this is what she wanted and that she had lived her life.
When my Uncle Chris (45) passed away, I was 15 and I just thought that he was going to get up and say "gotcha!" he was a joker and full of life. You really would never expect someone like that to have their life ripped away from their body. I stayed strong through the viewing and the funeral, I watched my cousin who had just turned 18 stay strong and I tried to stay strong with him. In an instant he had to become a man. I am sure, he went home closed his bedroom door and let the tears roll, I know I did. After the viewing people went back to his house for the memorial dinner...Stories were shared, tears were shed and in all these memories was the proof of life well led. We clung to each other and prayed for peace.
Eleven years later my Aunt Mona (40) was diagnosed with Cancer. She put up a good fight for 4 months, then in a brief moment her life was over. It dropped us to our knees and people around the world have spent two years trying to recover from the tragedy. She was a beautiful woman with a heart of gold and great understanding. She didn't judge others and she touched the hearts of so many. People still think about the love and great memories that she gave them and smile.
Two years and the present time we have lost another Uncle. My Uncle Reds (60) took a bath, I guess to relax, it appears that he fell asleep and didn't wake up. He went peacefully and for that I can be thankful, however it breaks my heart to know that he gave so much to so many and still when he passed he was alone. The tragedy took our families breath away once again. There will people from around the country attending the funeral and many people their will feel as if they are burying their own a father. A wonderful man was lost.
How do you cope with such tragedy? Well a therapist would tell you that it takes sessions and time. The truth is simple. Friends and family, unbiased ears and a warm shoulder to cry on. Not that sitting on a plush couch in a cold office seeming isolated from the rest of the would can't be therapeutic. I think that if you aren't ready to talk to people about the pain you should try a few things. A journal that only you see where you can write out what you are feeling so that you can organize your thoughts and emotions so that when you are ready to talk about what you are feeling that you can communicate clearly. On the flip side of the journal, starting from the back page, make a journal of Gratitude. Gratitude can help those dark clouds that are hanging over your head slowly start to dissipate. Start it by just making a list of three simple things that you are thankful for that day, the next day try to add at least one more thing to the list.
Once you are ready to share how you feel with someone else, make sure they are an unbiased source and someone who has lived through a similar situation. Books, degrees, and chocolates cannot replace the value of life experience. Sometimes you feel like you are alone but the truth is you aren't. There are millions of people out there and somewhere there is someone that understands. Don't let tragedy destroy you. If you cannot find the courage to talk to someone you know or you just want the person to be distant enough from you so that you feel safe. You can always come to me.