Death of a Loved One, Why?
Book about coping with the loss of a loved one.
This article does not give professional advice, rather just the advice from someone who has experienced the death of a loved one. Hopefully this article provides advice on what you can do to help the tragedy that has taken place.
There are times when we need to seek professional help for a problem that we are dealing with in life, so if nothing is helping you with the process, whether you feel this way or not, it is probably a good idea to speak with someone professionally. It is not bad to ask someone for help when it is needed.
Death sucks! That is all there is to it, but one thing that is for certain is that it is inevitable; the one thing no one can escape. Death is the one thing that all human beings have in common, which is a terrible thing to have in common, or is it? If everyone lived on earth forever it would be extremely scary knowing that there is nothing beyond what is here. I'm sure that a lot of people will disagree but it is not even fathomable that there is nothing after life on earth. The emotions and feelings that are derived from events that take place like death give people the feelings that they get when they experience something amazing, such as the birth of a baby! One simply does not exist without the other on earth, that is how our brain perceives happiness, and joy, and also, sadness and sorrow.
How do you perceive death?
Perception of death is a huge contributor as to how we deal with death. We simply don't just disappear after death, there has to be a purpose for everyone after life on earth. Many scientists and neurosurgeons already believe in some kind of purpose because of some of the things that have happened to patients, and also some events that have taken place during operations. They even believe this because of their own experiences. That means a lot whenever people that practice in a field that is normally trying to discredit proof of some kind of existence after death, believe otherwise. So for anyone who has doubt that there is anything after death, and that is what scares them can take in account some of this. This is no proven because no one can prove anything without something material that shows, but that is what faith is called.
The long difficult road
Some people experience the death of a loved one over a period of time, knowing what lies ahead, and some people experience their loved one's being taken without any notice, and without the chance to even say goodbye. Each of these equally suck, and everyone will probably experience at least one way at some point in your life. This will be extremely hard and life changing, but in the following paragraphs, I will show you why, even though it is terrible, some positive things can take place from this. It may not be easy and probably will take time but we can strive to be okay. We can strive to be okay in the moment because with time, the pain may be lost, but our loved one's will never be forgotten.
When a loved one is going to a slow painful death, knowing there is not much time left could possibly be the worst feeling in the world. It gives a sense of hopelessness and loss of faith and even depression. It will be hard on the people around the loved one that is going through this, so it is extremely important for those people to be the most supportive, loving, and positive they have ever been in their entire life, it is so important. No one will know what is going through the mind of the person that is ill, and they will probably be very scared and empty feeling, so there has to be love and support constantly. This part of the process is going to be the hardest on the loved one that is ill. When and loved one knows that their time is limited that time becomes the most important thing for everyone involved, because that time will go faster than anyone anticipates and then you don't get the chances to do what you wish you would have done. That person needs to know how important they are and have been in everyone's lives.
Support and help during the long difficult road
Children of parents that are sick or going through something knowing that their time is limited should step up and help with whatever is possible. One of the most honorable things that a child can do in life is take care of the person that has taken care of you for most of your life, they deserve it and so do the children. That is how life is suppose to take place, that is the natural process. The other important role for the children is supporting their other parent, knowing that they will be going through the loss of a soul mate. That i'm sure is one of the hardest things to experience, remember, your parents are also best friends.
When the time comes for the person to pass, it should be expected and should provide a sense of calm and relief, a sort of stillness, knowing that person is free from pain and being scared, and suffering. This will probably be hard to focus, but just know it was better for the ill person. Things will definitely get harder before they get easier but with time, you will heal.
Death of a loved one suddenly is terrible in a completely different way. It can be harder at the time for the family and friends of the loved one, not being able to tell them thank you or I love you or anything to that nature, so if you still have loved one's around you tell them! Stop reading this, get up, call, drive to, whatever you have to do, tell them how you feel and that you love them, because the people that didn't get that chance would be more than happy to take the chance that you have right now.
How to heal and grieve
The grieving process is completely natural and it is okay to show emotion. Normally males tend to try to hide that emotion and stay strong for the other family members, which is great but they also need that time to let it all out, whether it be by themselves or with someone that they trust. Emotions can be bottled up and then it normally converts to anger or depression. So men, know that it is okay to cry, and if you need to on your own time do that, but anger and depression only make the entire situation worse for everyone involved.
This time brings a whole bowl of mixed emotions and you may feel as if you should have done something different, but just know that is not the case. If you may have done something different to try to make the situation better, it would have created a ripple effect that could have made the outcome worse. So do not blame yourself, you shouldn't have to carry that guilt on your shoulders, you can't change what has been done.
There is one thing that everyone needs to remember. Death is a natural occurrence and it will happen to everyone. The way that people perceive death has a lot to do with how they handle the process. You have to have a positive perception somewhat on death, and celebrate the life and memories that will always be with you, because that is one thing that nothing and no one can take away. I can not give a clear cut answer on what to do or how to do it when it comes to the death of a loved one. There is no right or wrong when dealing with it, but just know everything will be okay.