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dementia,role reversal,seniors,and the bad grandson

Updated on September 1, 2009


When I arrived home yesterday,my grandmother came up to me,looked me in the eye,and said "you're going to start treating me like a grandmother."I stared into her dead serious little eyes,and saw that her little lips was pouting,and thought to myself "please don't start."My grandmother has decided that I have become a bad grandson.You see,when she has her episodes I have to be the one to put a stop to them.example:One night at about 2 a.m in the morning I awoke to find her trying to get out the door dressed in a night gown,a jacket that was somehow twisted inside out but still some way the jacket fit correctly,her purse on her shoulder,a pair of pants on,and tennis shoes.When I asked her where she was going,she said "I'm going to work."She retired almost twenty years ago.As usual I talk her back into bed,but not before she unloads and calls me every name in the book.That is why I'm the bad grandson.Dementia is a strange beast.One minute everything is fine the next it's the twilight zone.You can try all you want but there is no reasoning with someone that has dementia.They are not really dealing with reality as we know it,the best I can explain it is they appear to be in some constant dream state.I don't mean that they are sleep,or drowsy,or dazed,what I'm saying is they are wide awake but they live in their own reality.Example:I'm chilling with my grandmother one day and all of a sudden she just starts laying out clothes and getting ready to go somewhere "where are you going grandma?"I ask really wanting to know where she is at this moment in time."I'm going to the juke joint tonight,honey,gonna sip on something tonight."So I let her fidget around for about a half hour until I can think of something to snap her back to reality."look grandma,that show you wanted watch,is about to start."That's a common "icebreaker" to use,because she loves her t.v. and no matter whats coming on shes going to watch it."what show is that hon?"she says making her way over to see whats on t.v."you know that show you wanted to watch,what channel is it coming on now?"I say knowing what channel she is going to say"channel seven hon" she says as she settles in to watch t.v.totally forgetting about her night out at the juke joint.Everyday it's the same thing,most of the time the episodes are easily diffused with a distraction or a changing of the subject.

 My aunt moved in about two months ago,I guess she could pretty much tell I was tired,so she moved in to help out.And I can honestly say that I am glad she did,Because I have been going through this for about six years now,started with my grandfather,and after he passed my grandmother started going downhill quick.So when my aunt moved in I was more than happy,I was excited.You see, really my life has been nothing more than working and in and out of hospitals for the past two years,one thing after another,my socially life has become non existence,and this unemployment thing well before my aunt moved in I had to pick jobs that would allow me to be available at certain with my aunt here that is over.I can work with no restrictions,have more time to get things done,and get my social life back on track.that's the plan.

the bad grandson

 when my aunt first came I tried to explain to her the situation,but she really didn't see what I was talking about until a few weeks ago.I had to go to the local one-stop to get my retraining classes started for august(retraining is like a crash course that will bring you up to speed and get you qualified for a new field in twelve weeks)And by the time I made my way home nobody was there.My aunt shows up a while later to let me know that my grandmother is in the hospital,and that there is absolutely nothing wrong with her but she put on such a show that she had to call 911.Another episode,My grandmother is in perfect health for a woman of her age,but she will freak out for no apparent reason just to go to the hospital,for nothing.She's played the I'm sick card so many times that the insurance company has stopped paying her bills unless she is really sick.15000 of unnecessary hospital bills,wracked up in the last ninety days just because she feels like she wants to go to the hospital and can't nobody tell her nothing but me.That is why I am the Bad Grandson.just had to get that out of my system.Peace.I'm Audi 5000.


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    • bill yon profile image

      bill yon 8 years ago from sourcewall

      Thanks for stopping by.Aya Katz my aunt has been great.Now I will be able to return to my life and focus on accomplishing the things that I have put on Hold,for the first time in a couple of years I am excited and ready dive into this thing called life.SALMANLI123,thanx for the compliment,I like putting the layouts togethor as much as I like writing these hubs.

    • salmanali123 profile image

      salmanali123 8 years ago

      good photos i really impress

    • Aya Katz profile image

      Aya Katz 8 years ago from The Ozarks

      Bill Yon, it sounds like a difficult situation. I hope things get easier for you now that your aunt is there.