Healing After Leaving an Abusive Relationship
How to Get Through Bad Days After Escaping Psychological Abuse
"How am I going to make it through this day?" Ideas and distractions for getting through the very difficult days after abuse.
Since getting my children and myself out of an abusive situation at home, I sometimes I wonder this. I am not wanting to harm myself, but some days I feels so devastated and hit with so much sorrow. Another long day to face, with my world in shambles.
On days like this, I try to do things, but it feels forced. People say life will get easier in time. I believe them. I must go on. It is a lot like facing a shocking and unexpected death in the family, only worse. Just getting through the day can be a challenge.
I needed to make a list of things I can do to distract myself, to make it through, to keep existing. This page holds my list. Maybe it will help me. Maybe it will help you or someone you know. I hope so.
Please make it through this day, and the next one. I care.
(photo by Janienne Jennrich)
In the USA:
If you or someone you know is in an emotional distress or suicidal crisis,
please call the Lifeline
at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
Keep breathing. - This song helps me keep breathing sometimes.
Ingrid Michaelson sings Keep Breathing live. Breathtaking and calming.
Keep functioning. - Things to do...when it is hard to do anything at all.
- For word people: Crossword puzzles, online word games, word searches
- For number people: Sudoku and other number puzzles
- Pray or meditate
- Take a hot bath or shower
- Do small loads of laundry
- Call someone you trust
- Watch non-threatening TV, movies or YouTube videos.. Some pretty safe choices: Winnie the Pooh (always sweet), classic black and white TV shows (Gilligan's Island, Burns and Allen, Lawrence Welk), and Survivor (I like this because I can watch one after another for several hours online).
- Read something soothing (again, Winnie the Pooh is a safe choice)
- Vacuum, dust, or take out trash (at least the house will be cleaner later)
- Listen to free podcasts (meditation, talk shows, music, foreign language)
- Doodle, draw, color, or write
- Play a simple board game with someone
- Start putting together a jigsaw puzzle
- Drink hot chocolate or tea
- Pet your dog or cat
- Sort socks, count change, or do another repetitive chore
- Sit on a park bench and watch birds or children
Be OK by Ingrid Michaelson. Soft, sweet and mildly uplifting. Sometimes "okay" is all we can expect.
Try to notice beauty.
Start a journal, even if you don't write in it today.
Do you ever write in a journal or diary?
* Choose a journal or notebook.
* Find a pen or sharpen some pencils.
* Place them where you will see them.
Watch sweet things on YouTube or Vimeo
Or listen to music
You're Not Alone - "Everybody Hurts"; THIS VERSION BY RACHEL & RYAN O DONNELL
it will get better.