Emotional Wellness: 8 Keys to Being Calm

As someone who used to be intensely emotional, I offer 8 Keys to Being Calm that helped me transform my life after a recent extremely challenging experience. I reclaimed my power and my peace once I remembered who and whose I was and began practicing the following keys to being calm, consistently.

1. Consecration – Consecration means to devote or set apart anything to the worship or service of God. In the context of this message, it means to consecrate yourself through prayer and fasting to get direction. Take time to seek God, read His word and sacrifice food, TV, and or social media; diminish the distractions with whatever God puts on your heart to do and how to do it.

Every first full week of January, my local church does a 7-day, one meal a day fast from 6 am – 6 pm with in-house prayer services during the week. The online church I follow, does a 21-day Daniel Fast starting the same week; and a 7-day fast every August with nightly prayer services also and a Bible plan in the YouVersion Bible app. There was also a prophet I followed on YouTube, who leads fasts several times throughout the year. So, I fast and pray with my churches, on my own, and have joined a few of YouTube fasts because it helps me drawer closer to God and hear Him more clearly.

Mark 9:29, TPT, “He answered them, “This type of powerful spirit can only be cast out by fasting and prayer.””

(Romans 12:1-2, GNT) “So then, my friends, because of God's great mercy to us I appeal to you: Offer yourselves as a living sacrifice to God, dedicated to his service and pleasing to him. This is the true worship that you should offer. Do not conform yourselves to the standards of this world, but let God transform you inwardly by a complete change of your mind. Then you will be able to know the will of God—what is good and is pleasing to him and is perfect.”

2. Make Disciplined Lifestyle Changes – Gain control of negative habits with permanent positive changes. Be intentional about prayer and fast regularly. Believe and be obedient to God’s word, trust His plans and process for you, and do the work necessary to endure to the end.

There are two physical indications of my emotions being out of control: Clutter and disorder in my home; and bad eating habits (like late night eating, mindless eating, overeating, junk food eating, and eating just to be eating). So, during the 21-Day Daniel Fast in January 2024, I discovered a lot of meatless plant-based options that tasted good, so I asked God to help me make that my norm and eat real meat occasionally as a treat. I also found that fasting helped me manage my emotions and poor eating habits better. So, during another Daniel Fast with the YouTube prophet on April 15, 2024, I asked God to help me make fasting a part of my lifestyle. Two days later, I was checking my steps on the Pacer app and saw an ad for Intermittent Fasting using the Simple App, and have been fasting on a regular since then. Even when I wanted to take a break to celebrate my birthday month that November and the holiday season, I ended up on a 40-day fast with the YouTube prophet. But it’s all good and was divinely guided.

Abraham Lincoln said, “Discipline is choosing between what you want now and what you want most?” This quote resonates with me and helps me to stay the course and hold out for what I want most.

(2 Timothy 1:7, NLT) “For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.”

3. Wait Right – Demonstrate your faith. Believe. Remember who and whose you are; you are more than a conqueror, a chosen child of the King, loved beyond measure. He will fight for you. Live the word and walk it out. Be anxious for nothing. Give it to God and believe He’s working all things together for your good. Keep your eyes fixed on Him and stand on His word no matter what it looks or feels like.

If you are waiting in fear and anxiety, you are not waiting right. I realized this for myself on July 23 after leaving court with unfulfilled expectations and it didn’t feel good. I reflected on what transpired over the past year and how it had been affecting me. I felt like the enemy had me on the ropes trying to catch my breath, emotionally weepy, weary, borderline depressed, and fearful. I felt unsafe in my environment and unable to work my business effectively. Plus, I had been anxiously praying to God to get me out of my apartment and provide me a new safe and peaceful home. Two days later, I started a 7-day consecration that helped me reclaim my power and my peace, emerging brand new from the inside out.

(Isaiah 26:3, NLT) “You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in You, all whose thoughts are fixed on You.”

(Philippians 4:6-7, NLT) “Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.”

4. Release Expectations – Surrender your desires and wants, and trust God’s perfect will that is exceedingly abundantly above what you can think, ask, or imagine. He will provide the best possible outcome for your good.

You see, when I went to court on the 23^rd, both my cases had been scheduled for that day due to prior adjournments, and I just knew this was going to be it. God was going to deliver me from the madness and rule in my favor. Instead, both cases were adjourned again because one judge had and emergency and didn’t show up; and the opposing attorney wanted to file a motion for the other case.

(1 Peter 5:6-7, GNT) “Humble yourselves, then, under God's mighty hand, so that he will lift you up in his own good time. Leave all your worries with him, because he cares for you.”

5. Stay in Gratitude – Be thankful and focus on the good and positive in your life. Count your blessings. Remember what God has already done and what He can do.

I’m able to maintain my peace more easily now since God brought me through round one victoriously (in September 2024 on Friday the 13^th, the judge dismissed the eviction case; and on the 24^th my landlord agreed to a second stipulation on my harassment case against him.

Now, I don’t let anything phase me, and trust me, the enemy is still on the attack with various forms of harassment. Like when I came home from bible study one night in October 2024, there was a new notice taped to my door with a 1/20/25 tenancy termination deadline and the threat of going back to court; and the stifling fumes he still filters up into my apartment from the basement; and the water hose that continued to obstruct the narrow passage way in and out of the yard. But God encourages me daily through His word, music, and prophetic videos; and I am trusting He will open a door to my new home before we start round two, in Jesus name, amen.

(Hebrews 12:28, TPT) “Since we are receiving our rights to an unshakable kingdom we should be extremely thankful and offer God the purest worship that delights his heart as we lay down our lives in absolute surrender, filled with awe.”

After I had prepared my outline of this message to share on The Refreshing Center Bible Study Call, the Holy Spirit dropped these last three keys in my spirit to include.

6. Capture Memories of Loved Ones – Record family members while you can, especially aging loved ones. Tomorrow is not promised and these days there is no age restrictions on who is transitioning. We are losing the young ones and the seniors; and there is a lot of grieving happening to us and around us. My mom transitioned on April 2, 2021, and I often wish I had recordings of her voice and face before her health declined, severely.

7. Communicate Effectively – Don’t assume people should know what you want or how to treat you. Show and tell first by how you treat yourself, setting boundaries about what is and isn’t acceptable. Stop tolerating bad behavior towards you or by you. Tell people how their words and actions make you feel. Express your feelings as situations occur not bottle them up till you explode. Care-frontation is done in love, respectfully and calmly.

(Matthew 5:22-24, NLT) “But I say, if you are even angry with someone, you are subject to judgment! If you call someone an idiot, you are in danger of being brought before the court. And if you curse someone, you are in danger of the fires of hell. “So if you are presenting a sacrifice at the altar in the Temple and you suddenly remember that someone has something against you, leave your sacrifice there at the altar. Go and be reconciled to that person. Then come and offer your sacrifice to God.”

8. Forgive Folks – Release the negative energy of anger and unforgiveness. Lewis Smedes said, “To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.” Forgiveness is for you—it frees you up! If you find yourself being triggered by hearing someone’s name, voice, or seeing them, then you need to do some forgiveness work to free yourself. Forgiveness is not optional; it is mandatory to maintain a right relationship with God and be forgiven.

(Matthew 6:14-15 GNT) ““If you forgive others the wrongs they have done to you, your Father in heaven will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive the wrongs you have done.”

(Matthew 6:14-15 MSG) ““In prayer there is a connection between what God does and what you do. You can’t get forgiveness from God, for instance, without also forgiving others. If you refuse to do your part, you cut yourself off from God’s part.”