I need your prayers.
Eric, I am so very sorry to hear this. Whoever it is, he/she has my prayers...!
Addiction always leads to some individual rock bottom, and if, as you've said, your family member is there, he/she will be forced-by his/her actual body or by his/her psychological state-to choose between life and death. Do you know how he/she feels about this? I understand-very, very well-this situation and know this choice must be made no matter how high he/she has been. If he/she has become depressed, he/she may attempt to take his/her own life, if high, so he/she MUST be restrained somehow. If he's (I'll just call him 'he' from now on for simplicity's sake, wish I'd thought of it sooner)!
gone the manic route-as have Cocaine addicts, and 'Meth Heads', etc.-he, as an addict-may do something/anything irrational, perhaps dangerous. Perhaps not, like overshopping. Meth is one devil drug. I know.
I was a meth addict for many years-I'm now sober from that particular evil for at least 10 yrs-and at first, I became euphoric and was an unquenchable tigress in the 'sack', but as I progressed into my addiction, I decided in my altered state, to 'go strolling'. I dressed the part one day-in South Central L.A.(NOT the best neighborhood!)-and fortunately my husband, Anthony, and his brother, Mike, busted me as I left the house. I never tried to do that again. I was quite literally insane. Meth is, IMO, the most dangerous drug on the 'market'. It will make you behave in ways that you would NEVER consider when sober. So I am most grateful to God-and my hubby/bro team-for the sort of 'intervention'that occurred that night.
I have also had bouts with depression/mania, which was diagnosed a year ago as the now popular (!?) Bi-Polar Disorder. I self-medicated before the diagnosis and thought I would die. I hated myself with a furor I can't believe to this day, I even still have the writings I penned when in this state and they are indeed terrifying. I was so very scared. And so my choice in self-medication was alcohol-or anything that I thought would make me feel better. Pain pills, anti-anxiety pills (both of which I do legitimately need at the moment-I had hip replacement surgery just 19 (?) days ago-on March 14th (rotten in math, you see!) and my surgeon prescribed them to me. I am following directions re: drugs for THE first time in my life. I'm 55.
But back then, the pain of depression and the stress of my sorrows led me to purchase these drugs off 'the street' or go 'Doctor Shopping' to get prescriptions. All addicts are awesome liars, and get what they want almost every time. I did. As to the booze, I drank at least a fifth of Seagram's Seven-with the pills, too!-daily. I wanted to die, literally, and hated Laurel-me-with a hellish passion.
And so, Eric, since he's in the hospital at the moment, he ought to be safe-depending, of course, on the hospital itself. Treatment is crucial, and if he is WILLING and DETERMINED in his sobriety to fight this thing, he will be successful. If he's not, then, well, I'm sorry, but it's probably going to be a crap shoot) I have also found that my VERY recent acceptance of Christ/Buddha/etc., (I'm sort of a Heinz 57 sort of spiritual person) into my life-surgery can do some interesting things to your psyche-has helped me maintain my sobriety for months; I became sober on Christmas Eve '11. Does he have an opinion on religion, or is he agnostic/atheistic or anything?? Whatever he thinks of these 'life questions' is critical to recovery. Before Dec. 24th of last year, I was and always had been agnostic. I didn't believe in God yet I thought I did, I didn't know what was true and so I remained in a sort of spiritual limbo.
Anyway, Eric, my sincere prayers (I said one just now) come your way for your relative and for you; for families of addicts tend to suffer just as much as the addict, but of course in different ways.
Peace,
LaurelPrayers and positive thoughts are making their way to you and your family. Keep your head up and pray for strength.
- summerberrieposted 10 years ago
0 Keep hanging in there; I hope all works out better for you in this painful time
Sometimes the best road to full recovery can only be found within the despair felt on darkest days... All the best to your family Eric
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