From Infertility to Tragic Loss to Triumph
This is a Happy Story
This is a happy story, but getting to this point was not easy. In fact, the journey was the most devastating and emotionally draining experience I’ve ever lived through. I was a television news anchor in Miami at the time and I remember it like it was yesterday, even though it happened 12 years ago.
Getting Pregnant is Not Always Easy
It all started when my then husband and I tried to conceive a child. I thought, “This is going to be easy!” After all, my mother had 4 daughters and my sisters made me an aunt to 6 beautiful children. Unfortunately, that wasn’t the case for me. After years of temperature-taking and ovulation-charting, I had no choice but seek motherhood through artificial insemination along with the fertility drug, Clomid. It worked!!! I immediately got pregnant. However, six months later I lost my daughter, Emma, and nearly lost my mind. I thought my world was going to end and boy, was I angry with God! How could He take Emma away from me? What did I do wrong? I never heard an answer, yet, I never gave up hope because I knew, in my heart of hearts, that I was meant to be a mom.
Statistics From the CDC
Is infertility a common problem?
Yes. About 6% of married women 15–44 years of age in the United States are unable to get pregnant after one year of unprotected sex (infertility).
Also, about 11% of women 15–44 years of age in the United States have difficulty getting pregnant or carrying a pregnancy to term, regardless of marital status (impaired fecundity).
Is infertility just a woman's problem?
No, infertility is not always a woman's problem. Both men and women contribute to infertility.
What things increase a woman's risk of infertility?
Female fertility is known to decline with—
- Age. Many women are waiting until their 30s and 40s to have children. In fact, about 20% of women in the United States now have their first child after age 35, and this leads to age becoming a growing cause of fertility problems. About one-third of couples in which the woman is older than 35 years have fertility problems. Aging not only decreases a woman's chances of having a baby but also increases her chances of miscarriage and of having a child with a genetic abnormality.
These are all issues women are never informed about in school or anywhere else. I was 31, and perfectly healthy, and more determined than ever.
So my husband and I decided to take it to the next level and consult a fertility specialist. At 31 years old, I was diagnosed with “unexplained infertility.” After considering our options, including a surrogate mother, we decided to try In Vitro Fertilization. During the initial consultation the doctor said things like “daily shots, surgically removing eggs from my ovaries, fertilizing the egg outside my body, and transferring them into my uterus.” I was scared death but the desire to have a baby outweighed the fear.
Having a child is what I was preparing all my life for, even though I never realized it before. My experiences, my studies, work and career, sacrifices to have financial stability, and a husband, so at the "right moment" we could welcome a child into our world. A dear friend told me once, "There is no right moment when it comes to having a child." She was right, things will never be perfect enough and a conceiving a child is something that we really don't control the way we are led to believe. But I digress....
The only thing harder than being ready for the most beautiful part of being a woman, and not conceiving, is being diagnosed with "Unexplained Infertility" or UI. After going through a series of physically intrusive, and mentally draining, tests which are performed on both husband and wife, I was once again hopeful that this would be the breakthrough. Except the final result was basically: NO IDEA what the problem is.
"Unexplained infertility (UI) is one of the most frequent infertility diagnoses given to women, encompassing up to approximately 30% of all cases. At CHR, we are not convinced that such a diagnosis actually exists; we believe that this is a misleading faux diagnosis that actually impedes patients from receiving appropriate infertility treatments." CHR Publications 2014
According to another article in Medical News Today, 2012, some of the causes of UI have been recently discovered. These discoveries have still not translated into medical breakthroughs.
The cause of 'unexplained infertility' for 80% of couples trying to have a baby has been discovered by researchers from Queen's University Belfast and published in the journal Reproductive BioMedicine Online.
According to the report over 1 million couples worldwide, undergo fertility treatments every year. Those statistics are high despite the fact that Fertility Treatments are economically out of reach for most families. Upwards of one-third of them are told that they have unexplained or idiopathic infertility, meaning doctors cannot seem to find anything wrong with either the male or female after analysis of sperm and fallopian tubes or uterus.
A month later, it was go time. Round one: painful daily shots, and $20,000 later, no pregnancy. Two months later, round two: more shots, more money and still no baby. Yes, my womb was empty but my heart was still full of a burning desire to be a mother and more than ever I leaned on God. You see, prayer has always been a part of my life and one night I decided to say to Him “God, I’m tired of asking you to make me a mom. I think I’m ready. But when YOU think I’m ready please give me the greatest gift in the world – a baby.”
That’s when I started to see endless opportunities. I applied for a job transfer to Orlando and got the job -- morning show anchor at Local 6. My first week on air, I watched a report about a woman who used acupuncture in order to conceive a child and she was successful. With a renewed sense of hope, I gave acupuncture a try. I had no idea what to expect but after consulting with Heidi Regier, at East Wind Therapies, she explained it all. Heidi told me that if I ate something hot, to wash it down with something cold, and vice versa. She told me to always keep my womb warm because it’s going to house a baby. Then she applied the acupuncture needles and had me relax. Two acupuncture sessions, and $120 later, I got the news.
The best part is, I found out two weeks before Christmas. God did listen. He gave me the greatest gift in the world – a baby girl we named Ava! For some reason the second pregnancy happened naturally.
I wanted my little girls more than anything in this world. I promised to do everything to make it better for them than it was for me. That required all of me. The next thing I knew, I was the one in the headlines, making news.
“I need to tend to my girls,” Sosa, who has two young daughters, told the Sentinel in explaining her motivation for leaving the anchor desk. “They’re my priority. They’re all that really matters......"
WOFL Anchor Jacquie Sosa Decides to Walk Away TV SPY March 23, 2011