WELCOME TO FUNNY FEARS
There are all manner of unexpected things that go bump in the night that might either give one the goosebumps or the giggles.
This light-hearted lens is devoted to the lexicography of funny fears that you didn't even know existed.
Okay scaredy cat, you can come out from under the bedcovers now, the mouse has gone.
Image Credit: www.sketchedoutfiles.wordpress.com
Why not tame a dragon instead of slaying it? - Here be a dragon who isn't afraid to flap his water wings, wiggle his tail, and blow smoke rings, just for the he
Puff the Magic Dragon wondered why Noah scratched him off his list of endangered species to board his ark? If truth be told, Noah didn't like the looks of Little Jackie Paper either, which is why Puff and the lad now live in a Land called Honah Lee.
Image Credit: Magic Dragon - imagegossips.com/magic-dragon.jpg
THE FUNNY SIDE OF FEAR - A spunky short story by Jack Handy
Fear can sometimes be a useful emotion.
For instance, let's say you're an astronaut on the moon and you fear that your partner has been turned into Dracula.
The next time he goes out for the moon pieces, wham!, you just slam the door behind him and blast off.
He might call you on the radio and say he's not Dracula, but you just say, "Think again, Batman."
Image Credit: Jerry Gaylord illustrator, www.aboutfacesentertainers.com
Why is the fear of long words called hippopotomonstroses-
Nothing but the naked truth please...
Did you know that Lady Godiva, (who was nothing but a bare-essentials babe and an entertaining equestrian to boot), suffered from "vestiophobia" (a fear of clothes)?
This may also account for her unusual habit of riding sans culotte without the benefit of either a saddle or stirrups, not to mention taking the occasional buck-naked bird bath just for the shear joy and heck of it.
For Those Who Think Dating At Any Age Is A Fear Worse Than Death
GOOSEBUMPS OR GIGGLES?
As the Emperor pranced about in what he thought was a gorgeous get-up, it was clear to everyone else in the Kingdom of Klutz that while he did not suffer from any debilitating disease such as andgymnophobia (a fear of nudity) nor did he harbor a compulsive urge to peek through the windows of homes that he passed in the street, (better known as crytoscopophilia), he did however possess a rather vain vision of himself as God's greatest gift to the fair sex.
A WORD OF HUMBLE ADVICE:
Don't sweat petty things or pet sweaty things!
FEAR OF FIGURES
Little Johnny had a ferocious fear of figures (numerophobia), particularly Hexakosioihexekontahexaphobia (fear of the number 666) and Triskaidekaphobia (fear of the number 13), which is why he asked the doctor to write a note to his teacher to let her know that he was allergic to mathematics, witches, and black cats and that henceforth a robot named "Hal" would fill in the blanks on his arithmatic test and protect him from spunky spirits lurking about in the school yard.
Image Credit: Bill Mayer at flickr.com
THE JOY OF JAUNDICE
Horace Hiptwiddle, (known for his hilarious bout of hiccups during long-winded meetings, and frighful flatulence episodes in the wind section during symphony performances) is a unique soul.
Besides his odd body behaviors, his true claim to fame is a funny phobia, called "Xanthophobia" (a fear of the color yellow or the word yellow), which is why he never eats lemons, sucks eggs, or listens to "Mellow Yellow" if he can help it!
NO MORE PLUMAGE PLEASE!
The Duchess of Dither longed for a night out on the town with a jolly swagman sitting beside a billabong under the shade of a coulibah tree whilst quaffing a long cold one somewhere Downunder. The one thing she hadn't counted on was a bout of Pteronophobia, (the fear of being tickled by the feathers of "Hairy Canary" himself!)
BEWARE OF THE BEE'S KNEES
Look lover boy, I don't date anyone who's got Genuphobia (fear of knees), or Geniophobia (fear of chins), because they can't genuflect when called upon to do so!
SOMETIMES LIFE SUCKS...OR NOT
One of the funniest food phobias that come to mind is arachibutyrophobia (a morbid fear or embarrassment associated with peanut butter sticking to the roof of one's mouth, particularly while one is in a public place and unable to remove it with either grace or aplomb).
Image Credit: www.jasondoveillustration.blogspot.com
HEAVEN HELP THE HIPPOS!
Some folks have rather funny phobias...akin to amusing animal names. Take for example, Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia (or fear of long words). And, by now yYou're probably wondering if you pronounce this very strange syndrome, let alone spell it?
Imagine the terror when these folks face the following:
-- The longest word in the English language, according to the Oxford English Dictionary, is pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis.
-- The only other word with the same amount of letters is its plural: pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosesl.
-- And, the longest place-name still in use is Taumatawhakatangihangakoauauotamateaturipukakapikimaungahoronukupokaiwe-nuakit natahu, a New Zealand hill (which is probably why they have no poisonous critters in the place)!
Of course, if you'd prefer another strange synonym for hippowhater... try Sesquipedalophobia it's way sexier!
Image Credit: Jeope Wolfe, Winnipeg, Manitoba (Canada)
BOFFO BOOKS FOR FEARFUL FOLKS
Laughter for your loo...what do you mean you're afraid of T-P?
For those who don't want to sweat the small stuff of life.
Having fun means sending your fears on vacation...far, far away!
It's time to let go of everything that's stopping you from living an awesome life!
RAINDROPS KEEP FALLING ON MY HEAD!
Well, if you've got Ombrophobia (or fear of rain or of being rained on), you'd better buy oodles of big brellies or bumbershoots to protect yourself from the pitfalls of precipitation, particularly when it's forecast to rain cats and dogs for the next seven days.
Are you afraid of people with beards?
Have you met my friend "Dwayne the Dirty Dragon"?
Draco the Dingbat Dragon may just keep you in stitches so you forget all about those monsters under the bed.
Of course with "Ram-A-Dam-A-Ding-Dong" you just might be the hit of the party!
With all these wacky wild ones -- you'll be right at home in the Enchanted Forest!
HAVING FUN WITH FEAR...
"My greatest fear is that there is no PMS ... and that this is my real personality!
POTTY PLANET 51
Pumpkin Pathology Poll
What is the fear of pumpkins called?
Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater Poll
What is the fear of being turned into a pumpkin called?
He may bring joy and jollies to someone... - But keep him away from those who suffer from Claustrophobia!!!
Image Credit: Joy Boy - monkeyworks.files.wordpress.com - 2009/12
Beware of a White Whiskered Wunderkin
A ho ho ho humorous holiday gift for anyone of any age!
GETTING THE GOODS ON GOOSEBUMPS
Goosebumps happen for a variety of reasons, all of which can be traced back to man's early ancestors. Primitive man also felt cold and fear, but his "goose flesh," as it's also known, served as a defense mechanism.
Goosebumps occur when the arrector muscle at the base of arm hair pulls the hair up. The medical term for goosebumps is piloerection, from the Latin "pil" for hair.
Piloerection kept early man, who was considerably hairier, warm, because fluffier hair traps heat between the skin and the environment.
Fear triggers goosebumps, too, for a similar reason. When a primitive human's hair stood on end, it made him look bigger to a predator and would hopefully drive it off.
Source: www.Answerbag.com and Illustration Credit: Barf Comics
For those who adore scary things...this collection is guaranteed to give you goosebumps!
Perfect gift for the "back-to-school" crowd!
Great for a cold winter's night by the fire roasting marsh mallows.
For those with an unusual urge to snuff a few lawn gnomes.
A great story for Halloween Night!