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Understanding Loss, Grief and Bereavement

Updated on June 21, 2015

Angel of Grief

Angel of Grief
Angel of Grief | Source

What are Loss, Grief and Bereavement?

Although a disorienting, disturbing and distressing process, grief and bereavement are a normal responses to losing something one holds dear; these are emotions that most people can cope with given enough time.

Loss is the disappearance of something cherished, often the death of a person, loss of a relationship, loss of a job or loss of health.

Grief is the entire response—mind, body and spirit—to the loss.

Bereavement is the often term used when the loss is due to the death of a loved one.

On this page we will explore the different types of losses, the normal grief response to loss and ways to cope with bereavement, or the death of a loved one. We will also look at suggestions for how friends and family members can help a grieving person manage his or her grief.

You will also find some of the basic information on loss, grief and bereavement, written so those experiencing a loss might understand what to anticipate with some of the normal responses following a loss, particularly a life shattering loss.

Ignorance is not bliss.

Knowledge returns a sense of control over seemingly random occurrences

and makes it easier to cope.

— Kirsti A. Dyer, MD, MS

Ripples of Grief

Water Ripple
Water Ripple | Source

Useful Information on Loss

The information written here is based on material I have written for the Internet and for my undergraduate and graduate courses based on the over 18 years that I have been involved in the field of grief, loss and bereavement.

I have spent many educating people about the normal grief response by teaching, lecturing, writing articles and through the Journey of Hearts website that was created in 1997 to educate people about the normal grief response.

On this page you will also find some helpful quotes and strategies for making it through the first few hours. There are also additional resources for more information to cope in the subsequent days.

Of historical note, this page was one of the early lenses that I wrote for the Squidoo writing platform in 2007 about these topics to help people understand the basics of loss, grief and bereavement.

The information has been presented in small bits and pieces and images, since many people are unable to process a lot of information when they receive bad news.

Basics on Loss Worth Knowing

Loss is the disappearance of something cherished, such as a person, possession or property.

Loss is a common experience common experience that can be encountered many times during a lifetime; it does not discriminate for age, race, sex, education, economic status, religion, culture or nationality.

Most people have experienced some type of personal or professional loss at some point in their life as simply as a byproduct of living.

Grief is a powerful, universal feeling,

but it is survivable.

— Kirsti A. Dyer, MD, MS, FT

Knowledge Helps in Coping with Grief and Loss

I believe that education is one of the best ways to understand the grief response and aid people in incorporating a major loss into their life.

This belief is part of the reason that I have spent many years educating people about loss and the normal response to grief.

A Time to Grieve

A Time to Grieve: Meditations for Healing After the Death of a Loved One
A Time to Grieve: Meditations for Healing After the Death of a Loved One

One of my favorite books filled with meditations or reflections to help during the time to grieve.

 

What to know about Loss...

Facing a sudden loss can be scary and disorienting. You are suddenly thrust into an unfamiliar territory that is frightening and unsettling.

Knowing that grief is a normal response to a loss and what you can do to make it through the first few days or hours can be very helpful.

Types of Losses

There are many different types of losses that a person may experience in a lifetime, in addition to those experienced following a death. All of these losses have the potential to result in a grief response.

The original list of Types of Losses started on the earliest version of the Journey of Hearts website at "What is a Loss?" It has been revised a few times since 1998.

The types of losses are listed alphabetically.

  1. Loss of Body Function

    Hearing, vision, mental capacities, mobility, communication

  2. Loss of Body Image

    Body part through surgery, accident, change in appearance, aging

  3. Loss of Control

    Natural or human-caused disasters, accidents, social conditions, hospitalization of loved one

  4. Loss of Freedom

    Political, employment, incarceration, stigmatized disease or culture impacting access to health care

  5. Loss of Health

    Medical conditions, illnesses, disability, debilitating or terminal diseases

  6. Loss of Home, Property

    Homelessness, natural or man-made disasters, aging

  7. Loss of Identity

    Marriage, career, new parent, empty nest syndrome, relocation, retirement

  8. Loss of Independence

    Change in living situation e.g. entering nursing home, marriage

  9. Loss of Innocence

    Early sexual experiences, advertising and media influences children to grow up too soon

  10. Loss of Job, Income

    Downsizing, layoffs, retirement, career change

  11. Loss of One's Own Life

    Death, suicide, accident, homicide, murder, war

  12. Loss of Plans, Hopes & Dreams for the Future

    Miscarriage, abortion, stillbirth, adoption, infertility, relationship, job, career

  13. Loss of Relationship

    Death, divorce, pet, breakup, illness, adoption, miscarriage

  14. Loss of Religious Beliefs

    Questioning beliefs, disillusioned with church, organized religion, impact of sexual misconduct scandals

  15. Loss of Role

    Occupation, job, relationship e.g. parent, child, friend

  16. Loss of Safety

    Vulnerable feelings after rape, robbery, betrayal, unanticipated events, crises, traumatic events or disasters

  17. Loss of Sexual Function

    Physical or psychological etiology

  18. Loss of Significant Person

    Death, divorce, illness, relocation, military duty, missing person

  19. Loss of Treasured Object(s)

    Favorite objects, family heirlooms destroyed in fire/flood, theft

  20. Loss that is Unexpected or Unanticipated

    The sudden loss, which is often traumatic, that comes without warning from out of the blue, or the unexpected phone call.

Source: Dyer K. 1998. What is a Loss? Journey of Hearts.

Grief is one of the great common experiences

of human beings,

and yet sometimes

We feel so alone in our sadness.

— Martha Withmore Hickman

Healing After Loss

Healing After Loss: Daily Meditations For Working Through Grief
Healing After Loss: Daily Meditations For Working Through Grief

A small pocket sized book filled with meditations to work through grief from Martha Whitmore Hickman.

The perfect size for a purse or backpack, that you can pull out and read a meditation as you work through grief.

 

Alone in Her Grief

Alone in Her Grief
Alone in Her Grief | Source

What to know about Grief...

A grieving person may feel like they are going "crazy" with the physical reactions and intense emotions that is like a roller coaster ride.

Yet the emotional and physical responses are really just normal reactions to an abnormal event.

Information on Grief Worth Knowing

In their book "Life after death: A practical approach to grief and bereavement defined grief" Dr. David Casarett, Dr. Jean Kutner and Dr. Janet Abraham defined grief as,

"a multifaceted response to loss that includes psychological, behavioral and physical reactions combined with cognitive, emotional, behavioral, social, spiritual and somatic elements."

Thus the definition that I have used to describe grief over the years is "a multifaceted, normal reaction to a loss; it is the psychological, behavioral, social and physical reactions to loss."

Grief reactions may be seen in response to physical or tangible losses (e.g., a death or disaster) or in response to symbolic or psychosocial losses (e.g., divorce, losing a job).

Source: Cassarett, M., Kutner, J.S. and Abrahm, J. 2001. Life after death: A practical approach to grief and bereavement. Academia and Clinica, 134.

Video: Understanding Grief from HFA's Hospice

Normal Physical Response to Grief

When faced with a major life challenge, a person can experience a wide range of physical and emotional responses. These intense, overwhelming and unbearable responses often come in waves.

The grieving person may feel fine one moment and then depressed, anxious, distressed or angry the next; this causes some people to think that they are "going crazy."

These responses, in the table below, which can last for days to weeks, are not signs of being "crazy" they are normal reactions to an abnormal event.

Common Responses to Grief

General Responses
Pain Responses
GI Responses
Heart/Chest Responses
Fatigue
Headache
Empty stomach
Palpitations
Trouble sleeping
Abdominal pain
Abdominal pain
Short of breath
Lightheaded
Back pain
Nausea
Chest heaviness
Dizziness
General pain
Diarrhea
Throat tightness
Restlessness
 
Constipation
 
Crying, sighing
 
Increase/Decrease Weight
 
Common physical responses a loss

Am I going crazy?

Am I going crazy? (Scanner Fear 3)
Am I going crazy? (Scanner Fear 3) | Source

She was no longer wrestling with the grief,

but could sit down with it

as a lasting companion

and make it a sharer in her thoughts.

— George Eliot

Emotional and Behaviorial Responses to Grief

In addition to experiencing actual physical responses grieving people can also go through confusing, fluctuating and conflicting emotions that range from joy to profound grief or distress.

Strong emotions such as sorrow, sadness, fear, anger, terror, aching and guilt are among the very normal, common emotional responses for a person in grief.

Some of the more common emotional, behavioral and mental responses are included in the table below.

Many people feel stressed, anxious, nervous and afraid. Finding ways to manage these intense responses is an important part of adjusting to the loss.

Emotional and Behavioral Responses to Loss

Emotional Responses
Behavioral Responses
Mental Responses
Anger
Irritability
Forgetfulness
Panic
Anxiety
Slowed thinking
Fear
Numbness
Difficulty concentrating
Guilt
Denial
 
Apathy
Avoiding
 
Relief
Self Blame
 
Sadness
Disbelief
 
Sorrow
Vulnerability
 
Longing
Helplessness
 
Emotional
Forgetfulness
 
Abandoned
Helplessness
 
 
Loneliness
 
 
Meaninglessness
 
Common Emotional, Behavioral and Mental Responses to Loss

Companion Through the Darkness on Amazon

Companion Through The Darkness: Inner Dialogues on Grief
Companion Through The Darkness: Inner Dialogues on Grief

Stephanie Ericsson's classic book on Grief. It includes my favorite descriptive quote on grief cited below.

 

Grief as a Tidal Wave...

Grief as a Tidal Wave...
Grief as a Tidal Wave... | Source

Grief is a tidal wave that over takes you,

smashes down upon you with unimaginable force,

sweeps you up into its darkness,

where you tumble and crash against unidentifiable surfaces,

only to be thrown out on an unknown beach, bruised, reshaped...

Grief will make a new person out of you,

if it doesn't kill you in the making.

— Stephanie Ericsson, Companion Through the Darkness

Different Responses to Grief

People experience and respond to a loss in many different ways. Some downplay the event and repress emotions. Some cope with angry verbal or physical outbursts. Others respond more emotionally by sighing, crying or sobbing. Still others cope physically with bodily complaints, pain and physical responses.

It may help to know that each person's reaction to a loss is unique, even if it is the same event. As a result, different people may experience, react and respond very differently when faced with a loss; this can be particular difficult if you and your spouse or family members have different coping strategies and styles.

Knowing that there are different ways of coping may help you to understand someone else's response to the loss. You can then look for ways that you can cope together and ways that you can cope apart.

Continuum of Grief

Continuum of Grief
Continuum of Grief | Source

Image Source Continuum of Grief.

© Kirsti A. Dyer. Created from Mokra's Sadness 4 and Martin Boose's Thinking. Both Royalty Free Use.

Grieving Styles - Intuitive, Instrumental or Blended

Professors Terry Martin and Kenneth Doka studied how people respond to a major life challenge and grieve the loss and published some of their results as part of their book, "Men Don't Cry, Women Do: Transcending Gender Stereotypes of Grief."

They determined there are two main ways people respond-the intuitive griever (stereotyped as female) and the instrumental griever (stereotyped as male).

Martin and Doka believe these Patterns occur along a continuum. Those grievers near the center show a third style or a blended style of grieving. The "blended style griever who is somewhere in between a little Intuitive (emotional/feeling) and a little Instrumental (physical/thinking).

What is important to realize about their descriptions of grieving styles is that these patterns may be related to gender, but are not determined by gender. Each coping style has it's own distinctive strengths and weaknesses.

The Continuum of Grief is shown in the graphic above.

Men Don't Cry, Women Do - Transcending Gender Stereotypes of Grief

Men Don't Cry, Women Do: Transcending Gender Stereotypes of Grief (Series in Death, Dying, and Bereavement)
Men Don't Cry, Women Do: Transcending Gender Stereotypes of Grief (Series in Death, Dying, and Bereavement)

An important look at the differences in grieving styles with Professors Martin and Doka answer the question, "Do men and women grieve differently?" In the book grief experts Martin and Doka explore the traditional gender stereotypes of grief and offer some suggestions for strategies likely to help with different types of grievers.

 

Same Loss - Different Grieving Styles

Couple Walking at the Beach
Couple Walking at the Beach | Source

The Intuitive Griever

Doka and Martin discuss the differences between intuitive and instrumental grievers in Men Don't Cry Women Do.

The intuitive griever feels the experience intensely and can be helped by expressing his or her grief emotionally often with crying. The intuitive grief style is the one often associated with typical female grief.

One of the best ways for the intuitive griever to cope is to express his or her emotions, possibly even in a group setting.

Characteristics of the Intuitive Griever

Common Characteristics of Intuitive Grievers include:

  1. Openly expresses feelings.
  2. Expresses anguish or sorrow with tears.
  3. Is not afraid to seek support from others.
  4. Allows time to experience the inner pain.
  5. May become physically exhausted or anxious.
  6. May experience prolonged periods of confusion and problems concentrating.
  7. Is able to discuss the grief.
  8. May benefit from support groups.

The Instrumental Griever

Doka and Martin discuss the differences between instrumental and intuitive grievers in Men Don't Cry Women Do.

The instrumental griever feels grief, but less intensely and more physically. They tend to think and problem-solve ways of coping with the experience. The instrumental grief style is the one often associated with typical male grief.

The instrumental griever needs physical ways to express the grief and may be reluctant to talk about feelings.

Swallowed by a Snake

Swallowed by a Snake: The Gift of the Masculine Side of Healing
Swallowed by a Snake: The Gift of the Masculine Side of Healing

One of the classics explaining how males grieve loss from Thomas R. Golden.

 

Characteristic of the Instrumental Griever

Common characteristics of Instrumental Grievers include:

  1. Pushes aside feelings to cope with the present situation.
  2. Chooses active ways of expressing grief.
  3. Often is reluctant to express feelings.
  4. Uses humor to express feelings and to manage anger.
  5. May only express feelings in private.
  6. Seeks solitude to reflect and adapt to loss.
  7. May not do well with a support group.

When Men Grieve

When Men Grieve: Why Men Grieve Differently and How You Can Help
When Men Grieve: Why Men Grieve Differently and How You Can Help

Another helpful book explaining why men grieve differently and what to do about it.

 

Carrying the Burden of Grief

Desolation.
Desolation. | Source

Grief can't be shared.

Everyone carries it alone,

his own burden, his own way.

— Anne Morrow Lindbergh

Reader Feedback on the Grief Response

What do you think about grief? Do we all grieve differently or the same?

Please note that messages of a personal nature may not be approved if the author deems them too personal.

Everyone grieves the same.

Everyone grieves the same.

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    • athrunzala 4 years ago

      We are all the same

    • Gloria Freeman 4 years ago from Alabama USA

      I think we all feel the pain but.not show it the same way.I had two younger sister to die less than three months apart from cancer then about nine month later my MoM pass.What a year that was,all this happen less than three years ago,I still feel the shock wave from it,sometime I think I am ok then I hear or see or think something and it all come back.

    • natural stress r 4 years ago

      Everyone goes through the same phases when it comes to grief, i.e. from denial, to anger to acceptance and all points in between...but everyone goes through the different phases at a different pace, and some even get stuck in one phase or the other. I have been grieving the loss of a loved one for five years... I am still far off from the acceptance phase.

    • millyjones lm 5 years ago

      Grieving is the same process, but can effect people at different times and an individuals reaction to it, is what is different.

    • hari4902 5 years ago

      i am thinking

    • Laraine Sims 8 years ago from Lake Country, B.C.

      I like to grieve in private but a number of times have had others around and if I handn't experienced the benefits coming from that, I wouldn't have believed it. I do believe that all grieve the same but how they react to that grief is different.

    • PetMemorialWorld 8 years ago

      Although we may express it differently (or not express it) I believe we all share the same grief experience.

      An experience that transcends the loss of ALL of our family members - even our beloved animals.

    • sidnelson 8 years ago

      This is a very excellent and informative lens and I added a link to it on my blog on funeral poems. I think everyone is right on the feedbacks because there are two sides to all of us. There is the outward "person" or ego or Id, that interacts with others in it's own unique way so in that extent we all grieve differently. But the true spirit or consciousness that we are is the same for all of us. We're all just different manifestations of the very same One spirit. We, in reality, are the One that is the "observer" when we dream while participating in the dream at the same time. So to that extent we do grieve the same. So in both contexts, everyone is correct. The outward self or ego acts a certain way but the inner true self is the same for all of us! :-)

    • anonymous 8 years ago

      I like it that you mention many ways to lose.I was feeling terribly about efforts to stop fireworks.I also grieve at changes to rules.New departments and new rules come by the day.But my dad helped me by always talking about the happiest funeral he went to,where people were warned not to be sad .My cat was put down the other day, but I had extra time with her because my mum paid for an expensive operation.Puss had a cancer in her mouth.

    • BlessedOne 8 years ago

      I do believe that everyone grieves differently and no one can tell another the proper way to grieve. Saying stupid things like "maybe it's for the best" don't help either. However, I also believe that our loved ones can offer us comfort in our time of need. I'm new to squidoo and recently made a lens about my experience with a miscarriage and the grief I went through. I'd love to get your opinion of it, since you are an expert. It is called A Memory of Miscarriage and you can get to it by clicking on my picture. Thanks and have a very blessed day! ~ Tracy

    • religions7 9 years ago

      Everyone grieves the same: we all feel loss, sorrow, anger etc. But how that gets expressed does differ. Grief in one of those things that is part of life, because change, illness and death are part of life.

    • Kirsti A. Dyer 9 years ago from Northern California

      It is a popular belief that we should be 'over it' within two weeks...or at least this is the time frame given for those lucky enough to have bereavement leave from work.

    Everyone grieves differently.

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      • DtKnight 3 years ago

        I think that grief is very much something that is different on an individual level. We all have different belief systems that inform our experiences, as well as our upbringing.

        There is not doubt that people grieve in different ways. Just look at the difference between a wake and a somber funeral, for instance. Some people party until the day they day, while others are much more serious and they bottle up their emotions. Some people can be stifling to be around while others are overtly and sometimes excessively exuberant. That exuberance shows, and the differences in how people grieve shows as well.

      • Kirsti A. Dyer 3 years ago from Northern California

        @anonymous: I think knowing you are not alone in grief makes it a lot easier to cope.

      • anonymous 3 years ago

        We all hurt, but grieve differently and some can easily move on while others may take awhile or even years. It feels good to know I am not alone grieving

      • Gigglesmith 4 years ago

        People handle stress differently, grief included.

      • Gigglesmith 4 years ago

        People handle stress differently, grief included.

      • Trudy 4 years ago

        I agree with so many of the comments on both sides. But at 65 years old, after losing a five day old baby, my mother and father, my husband, and recently my brother, I believe, while there is deep emotional pain, and overwhelming sadness involved, from my experience, we each handle and show it differently. As was expressed in this article, we may even express it differently hour by hour, depending on the stage your in at the time.

      • SarahPorter LM 4 years ago

        Really informative and helpful information. Thanks

      • Cynthia Davis 4 years ago from Pittsburgh

        One thing that I am certain of in dealing with grief is that the pain is immeasurable.

      • irenemaria 4 years ago from Sweden

        There is no right or wrong way to grief! Anything you need to do to cope is ok. I have a lens with my own sad story called irene marias story.

      • Kirsti A. Dyer 4 years ago from Northern California

        @Joyce Mann: Thank you.

      • Joyce T. Mann 4 years ago from Bucks County, Pennsylvania USA

        I have added your masterful lens (article) as a resource within the link list of my own lens, "Grieving the Loss of an Adult Son."

      • veldagtz 4 years ago

        different people have a different grieves

      • IssacAlouf 4 years ago

        We're all very similar, but I still think we do things differently, grieving included.

      • ToneyWernsman 4 years ago

        I think we all grieve differently.

      • Tagarack 4 years ago

        I think grieving is a personal journey that like everything else in life affects people differently. Some can take the loss and be able to carry on, while some are devastated by the same event. I don't think there should be a stereotype of male or female. My father was one of the toughest men I knew and yet when my mother died, he cried a lot, and ultimately died himself months later of a broken heart, although doctors say it was a heart attack. And myself, well that's another story...

      • maryLuu 4 years ago

        The pain is not the same. I mean each of us can feel ina different way the lost. You just can't measure the pain someone is feeling inside.

      • HomeDecorKnight 4 years ago

        Even though we're all human, I think it's quite obvious that many of us grieve differently when compared to one another. One example is people who bottle it up versus people who just let it out.

      • Kirsti A. Dyer 4 years ago from Northern California

        @LeonRusselman: Leon - Thank you for sharing your experiences with your father. I love your analogy of drilling a hole in the head and emptying out all of the happy dust. Very descriptive.

      • LeonRusselman 4 years ago

        Thanks for this informative lens. My father, who has been gone for five years, lost his wife (not my mother) about 6 years prior to his own passing.

        He was never the same after that. I always thought he would benefit from counseling but he wouldn't seek help. He seemed to live under a dark cloud. Not to say he didn't have his moments of enjoyment. But he was pretty much a sad-sack.

        We felt bad for him and stayed close to him. It was like someone drilled a hole in his head and emptied all the happy dust out.

      • Barbara Radisavljevic 4 years ago from Templeton, CA

        I have had varied grief experiences. When I lost my son, I was in touch with other moms who lost their sons of about the same age at the same time. One was able to write letters back and forth with me about her loss. The other simply couldn't write to either of us. After a period of years I finally had a chance to meet her and she explained grief factors totally different than the other two of us had experienced. We had extended family support she didn't have. Not only is each person unique, but so is each situation.

      Remember the Basics When Coping with Loss

      Following a loss, death or other tragic event it may be difficult to remember to take care for oneself. When facing a loss it is helpful to focus the basics.

      This short list provides healthy coping strategies that I recommended to patients and to friends, to keep them moving during the first few days.

      1. Take it one hour at a time, one day at a time, if need be one moment at a time.
      2. Get enough sleep or at least enough rest.
      3. Try to maintain some type of a normal routine.
      4. Remember that regular exercise helps relieve stress and tension.
      5. Eat a balanced diet. Limit high calorie and junk food. Drink plenty of water.
      6. Avoid using alcohol, medications or other drugs in excess or to mask the pain.
      7. Do those things and be with those people who comfort, sustain and recharge you.
      8. Talk to others, especially those who have lived through and survived similar experiences.
      9. Find creative ways-journal, paint, photograph, build, woodwork, quilt, knit, collage or draw-to express intense feelings.
      10. Remember coping skills you have used to survive past losses. Draw upon these inner strengths again.

      Angel of Grief

      Angel of Grief
      Angel of Grief | Source

      The Annual Cost of Grief

      For a 2003 study by the Grief Institute used more than 12 recognized studies to compute the cost of a lost work hours due to grief.

      They estimated that grief in the workplace grief costs U.S. businesses over $75 billion a year in reduced productivity, increased errors and accidents.

      These numbers get broken down as following:

      • Death of a Loved One Cost: $37.6 billion
      • Divorce/Marital Woes Cost: $11 billion
      • Family Crisis Cost: $9 billion
      • Death of an Acquaintance Cost: $7 billion
      • Money Trouble at Home Cost: $4.6 billion
      • Pet Loss Cost: $2.4 billion

      Russell Friedman, the institute's co-director perhaps says it best,

      "When your heart is broken, your head doesn't work right."

      Source: The Grief Recovery Institute. 2003.

      Grief in the Office

      Flowers at Work
      Flowers at Work | Source

      Heart Ache Leave vs. Bereavement Leave

      In Japan, grief in the workplace is recognized in a special way. Japanese workers can take paid time off 'heartache leave,' personal time offf also known as shitsuren kyuka to mend a broken heart after experiencing a bad break-up. The time off allowed increases as you age.

      In the United States, bereavement leave is frequently more limited. I remember two weeks after the September 11, 2001 tragedy, the flags were no longer flying at half mast, an indication that we were supposed to be moving on and getting over it.

      Perhaps we should be looking at offering shitsuren kyuka in the United States, or a [paid] holiday you take when you feel too devastated to come to the office.

      Time to Grieve

      Time
      Time | Source

      People in mourning have to come to grips with death before they can live again.

      Mourning can go on for years and years.

      It doesn't end after a year, that's a false fantasy.

      It usually ends when people realize that they can live again,

      that they can concentrate their energies on their lives as a whole,

      and not on their hurt, and guilt and pain.

      — Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

      How Long Will I Grieve?

      A grieving person must recognize that they may never entirely "get over" their grief. Some losses never entirely fade e.g. loss of child, loss of spouse, diagnosis with a terminal illness. Rather in time they learn how to integrate the loss or change into their lives and keep living.

      The dual process model is one of the current ways of explaining the grieving process; it is a dynamic struggle between the pain of the death of the loved one (loss-oriented) and recovery (restoration-oriented).

      Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross may have described the process of grieving (mourning) best in her quote and how long grief lasts.

      Therefore, the grieving process usually ends when people realize that they will survive and begin to focus their energy on living.

      Piecing Together a New Life

      Piecing Together a New Life (Weaving)
      Piecing Together a New Life (Weaving) | Source

      Piece by piece, I reenter the world.

      A new phase. A new body, a new voice.

      Birds console me by flying, trees by growing,

      dogs by the warm patch they leave on the sofa.

      Unknown people merely by performing their motions.

      It's like a slow recovery from a sickness, this recovery of one's self.

      — Tony Talbot

      Learning to Live Again

      The grieving process involves learning to adapt and adjust to a life forever changed by the loss, a life that can change in many different ways.

      This may involve developing new skills, changing a circle of friends, moving, changing jobs, giving up activities and taking on new responsibilities.

      Finding healthy ways to cope with the loss day to day can help including ways to take care of yourself and ways to remember.

      Preparing for Anniversaries and the Anniversary response that often results is another way of learning to life again.

      Healthy Coping Strategies

      After making it through the first few days just focusing on the basics, the grieving person may need some helpful suggestions to keep going. This list comes from a lecture that I gave at the California Maritime Academy on "How to Cope with Loss, Grief, Death & Dying - Professionally & Personally" for a course on Dying: The Final Stage.

      This short list provides additional healthy coping strategies to keep the person moving and doing something beyond first few days following the loss.

      1. Create a Memorial. Depending on the circumstances and the person you may want to create roadside memorial, a home shrine or a bulletin board filled with letters, notes, poems and pictures. You may decide to create a sculpture, a collage or fill a scrapbook with memories.
      2. Help to plan and organize the funeral, memorial service, or celebration of life to honor the person who has died. Planning a service, tending to the details, is something active to do, during a time when people often feel helpless.
      3. Plant a tree or flowers in a garden in memory of the person lost.
      4. Donate--money, time, food, clothing or other needed items--to a favorite charity, homeless shelter, animal shelter or home for abused women.
      5. Donate blood at your local blood center. Donating is another way of doing something active and giving something back.
      6. Write sympathy and condolence notes, letters of encouragement and support to those affected by the loss.
      7. Thank the emergency and hospital personnel, highway patrol, police and firefighters for helping if the loss involved an accident or emergency.
      8. Be kind to others. Make space for the car merging in on the freeway. Don't use your horn unless it is absolutely necessary. Let someone with fewer items go first in the grocery store.
      9. Perform random acts of kindness. This will help to remind one there is tenderness and thoughtfulness in the world. Pay the bridge toll for the person behind you. Smile at the store clerk. Some choose to perform random acts of kindness in memory of the person lost.
      10. Volunteer your services or skills. Offer assistance to someone in need.
      11. Do something that can benefit others. Take a first aid or CPR class.
      12. Remember to tell your loved ones, friends and family how much you care about them often.

      Source: Dyer K. 2002. How to Cope with Loss, Grief, Death & Dying - Professionally & Personally. Presentation for California Maritime Academy's Dying: The Final Stage Course. Journey of Hearts.

      Create a Circle of Healing

      I have long had the belief that there is a healing power in holding a person in one's thoughts-whether through saying prayers or blessings or lighting candles.

      These are the same beliefs echoed by Jim Reeves, the urologist who treated Lance Armstrong who recited the ancient Chinese belief, that when a person is held in the hearts and minds and souls of so many other people, they can do better.

      Creating a circle of healing and positive thoughts and positive intention is something that friends and family can do when someone is sick or facing a life crisis to feel a little less helpless.

      If nothing else, creating a circle of healing gives everyone something to do during a very difficult time.

      Breathe, Just Breathe

      Breathe
      Breathe | Source

      Remember to Breathe

      Whether is is coping with the loss of a loved one, managing a life changing event or just coping with everyday stressors, remembering to "Breathe, Just Breathe" is a very helpful coping strategy for the grieving person.

      Breathe helps get oxygen flowing to the brain so you can think more clearly, which is important during stressful times.

      When we are tense during stressful times, we often forget to breathe. Something simple as focusing on breathing can be very helpful.

      Several articles on the benefits of breathing as a way to cope with stress and with loss.

      Transitions by Steven Halpern

      Transitions: Music For Comfort & Solace
      Transitions: Music For Comfort & Solace

      Steven Halpern's music on this CD was written to provide comfort and solace during times of transitions.

       

      Listen to Music

      Listening to comforting Music is a helpful way of coping with a loss.

      One of my favorite comforting musicians is Steven Halpern.

      His music creates a safe and sacred space. The music of Transitions is a helpful one to listen to when praying, meditating or practicing mindfulness.

      Listening to his album Gifts of the Angels, is an ethereal other world experience, which can be very comforting for those grieving the death of a loved one.

      Gifts of the Angels

      Gifts Of The Angels
      Gifts Of The Angels

      There is an ethereal out-of-this world quality to this music on this CD. Listening to it there is a sense that of floating out in space and hearing the angels sing.

      Somehow in Gifts of the Angels Steven Halpern manages to capture the voices of the angels, a comforting thought to many who have lost a loved one.

       

      Touching the Soul Healing the Spirit through Music

      One of the other artists that I have personally found to be very healing is listening to the early music of Josh Groban.

      His music is able to touch the soul and heal the grieving heart.

      Anniversary Response

      Coping with the Anniversary of a Death of Loss

      Honor the Fallen

      Honor the Fallen
      Honor the Fallen | Source

      Anniversary Response

      It is interesting to me that in a relatively short period of time starting at the end of August within the span of just a few weeks we experience the Anniversaries of several major deaths.

      In 2015 we will celebrate:

      • The 6th year anniversary of the death of Michael Jackson (June 29, 2009)
      • The 10th year anniversary of Hurricane Katrina (August 29, 2005)
      • The 18th year anniversary of the death of Princess Diana (August 31, 1997)
      • The 9th year anniversary of the death of Steve Irwin (Sept 4, 2006)
      • The 18th year anniversary of the death of Mother Teresa (September 5, 1997)
      • The 14th year of September 11th (Sept 11, 2001)

      Anniversary dates of a tragic event, the actual date of the death, the birth date of a loved one, holidays or other special occasions are common triggers for an Anniversary reaction or a grief response.

      An Anniversary reaction or response is a sudden unexpected rush of memories, intense emotions and feelings of grief.

      As I learn my life anew,

      may I be empowered by loving memories.

      — Martha Whitmore Hickman

      A Life Forever Changed by Loss

      The Journey of Grief following a loss, a crisis or a significant life change is a very personal and many times a very private one.

      Each person experiences his or her own unique journey discovering their own internal sources of strength to help him/her cope with the grief response.

      In the grieving process, the bereaved person must learn how to deal with the loss, crisis or significant change, adapt and adjust to a new life.

      Despite the loss, life goes on, it moves forward and begins anew, but it is a life forever changed.

      Life Anew

      Fern Spiral (Koru)
      Fern Spiral (Koru) | Source

      In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life:

      it goes on.

      — Robert Frost

      Sending Condolences or Sympathies for a Loss

      Sending Condolences by Email, Text or Instant Message

      With all of the technology available to us these days, there are a variety of ways that messages can be sent, other than the old styles letters (snail mail) or by phone.

      Email is slowly starting to be recognized by some etiquette experts as an alternative way of sending at least initial condolences.

      Most of the etiquette experts believe, and I concur, that texting and IM (instant messaging) are too informal and should only be used for casual topics or informational briefs.

      Recommended Books for Coping with Grief

      When Bad Things Happen to Good People

      When Bad Things Happen to Good People
      When Bad Things Happen to Good People

      One of the classics answering the question what to do when bad things happen to good people.

       

      Classic Grief Books

      These are just some of the grief, loss and bereavement books that I have in my personal collection.

      These three are some of the classics "When Bad Things Happen to Good People" "How to Go on Living When Someone You Love Dies" and "A Grief Observed" recommended for those who have experienced a loss.

      The words and message in these classic grief book have stood the test of time for being helpful resources.

      These books have been recommended to me during my losses and recommended by me when helping others cope with loss.

      How to Go on Living When Someone You Love Dies

      How To Go On Living When Someone You Love Dies
      How To Go On Living When Someone You Love Dies

      Helpful suggestions from Dr. Therese Rando with how to cope with someone dies.

       
      A Grief Observed
      A Grief Observed

      One of the earlier books written on grief, by C.S. Lewis

       

      Recommended Books for Coping with Loss

      When There Are No Words

      When There Are No Words: Finding Your Way to Cope with Loss and Grief
      When There Are No Words: Finding Your Way to Cope with Loss and Grief

      How to cope when there are no words for how you are feeling after a loss.

       

      Classic Books on Loss

      For those who are interested in learning more about loss, particularly life after loss and the effects of ambiguous loss here are several of the helpful books.

      Charlie Walton's book on "When There Are No Words" is a helpful resource for finding ways to help those helping others to cope with the unimaginable losses.

      Bob Diets book on "Life after Loss" is one of my favorites. Now on the 4th edition this classic has helped many people to cope after experiencing a major life loss.

      One of the more challenging losses is that of ambiguous loss where there may be no closure or end for those grieving. This book by Pauline Boss looks at ways of helping those experiencing ambiguous loss or as it is referred to as unresolved or even frozen grief.

      Ambiguous Loss: Learning to Live with Unresolved Grief

      Ambiguous Loss: Learning to Live with Unresolved Grief
      Ambiguous Loss: Learning to Live with Unresolved Grief

      This book looks at ambiguous loss and how to live with unresolved grief.

       

      More Resources for Coping with Grief

      Resources for Coping with Different Aspects of Grief and Loss

      Grief and Loss topics were among the earliest ones that I wrote about when I started writing for Squidoo in 2007. Over the years I have written on many different aspects of grief and loss.

      You can look at the list below and the links that follow so you can find out more about a particular area of bereavement.

      Copyright Information Creative Commons License


      Creative Commons License © 1997-2015 Kirsti A. Dyer MD, MS, FT. Some rights reserved. This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution- Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 License.

      The material in this resource book may be copied and reproduced on websites or in newsletters, ezines provided that the Author's Biography information and a link to this page is included with any article.

      Longer excerpts from this online resource book may not be copied, duplicated or reproduced for use in a for-profit setting without prior written permission by the author.

      History of the Loss, Grief and Bereavement Lens

      Loss, Grief and Bereavement # 1 in Health on Squidoo

      Screen shot of Squidoo May 29, 2008.
      Screen shot of Squidoo May 29, 2008.

      Topping the Health Topic

      The Loss, Grief and Bereavement lens topped the Health Topics on May 29, 2008 and remained as the top topic for over a month.

      Since the new topic restructuring, the Loss, Grief and Bereavement lens was re-classified in the Grief and Loss category under Healthy Living.

      Since Moving to Hubpages, this page has been reclassified into

      Health → Death and Loss of Life → Grief and Bereavement

      Loss, Grief & Bereavement - a Masterpiece Lens

      I was honored and humbled to have been recognized in the early days of Squidoo as one of the Masterpiece Movement lensmasters, these were lensmasters who were committed to bringing the highest quality, most relevant information, best writing and greatest ideas.

      In order to qualify you need to present your best work, your best ideas, your most fabulous, over the top lenses.

      According to Margaret, "The grief page IS a masterpiece, IMHO"

      Share your thoughts on loss and grief...

      Please note that messages of a personal nature may not be approved if the author deems them too personal.

      © 2007 Kirsti A. Dyer

      Comments on the Loss, Grief and Breavement Lens

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        • HealthfulMD profile image
          Author

          Kirsti A. Dyer 3 years ago from Northern California

          @darkflowers: Thank you. It isn't a topic that most people think about much until they have to deal with a loss.

        • darkflowers profile image

          Anja Toetenel 3 years ago from The Hague, the Netherlands

          I loved this great Lens on a topic that is so important as we all face loss, grief and Breavement in our lives! Wonderful tips, great info, thank you so much!

        • HealthfulMD profile image
          Author

          Kirsti A. Dyer 3 years ago from Northern California

          @socialcx1: One of the more difficult parts of life. Thank you for your comments.

        • socialcx1 profile image

          socialcx1 3 years ago

          Guess it's all just part of living and the only why we heal after suffering a sad loss. Lovely lens, thanks

        • HealthfulMD profile image
          Author

          Kirsti A. Dyer 3 years ago from Northern California

          @ConvenientCalendar: That's why they call them triggers - the grief can come back anew. Understanding that people have triggers can be helpful.

        • profile image

          ConvenientCalendar 3 years ago

          It is funny how you can get over grief, then something like a song or a certain thing can trigger the grief years after you are through it, then you have to get rid of those thoughts again! Great lens

        • profile image

          Aunt-Mollie 3 years ago

          Grief can be as dehibilitating as an illness and as unique in its ramifications as each individual is unique. Fortunately, for most the worst cycle of grief does not last forever.

        • HealthfulMD profile image
          Author

          Kirsti A. Dyer 3 years ago from Northern California

          @anonymous: Thank you

        • profile image

          anonymous 3 years ago

          Worth reading thoroughly!

        • HealthfulMD profile image
          Author

          Kirsti A. Dyer 4 years ago from Northern California

          @Trudy Hanley: I am glad to know that the lens was of help.

        • Trudy Hanley profile image

          Trudy 4 years ago

          This information is so powerful. An abundance of understanding. Just after reading through it for the first time, I feel enlightened, and calmer. Thank you.

        • HealthfulMD profile image
          Author

          Kirsti A. Dyer 4 years ago from Northern California

          @SusanRDavis: Thank you for the blessings. Loss isn't a topic that most people want to deal with until they have experienced a loss.

        • SusanRDavis profile image

          Susan R. Davis 4 years ago from Vancouver

          What an important resource for anyone who has ever suffered a loss - and you mention the many kinds of loss, not just death - or anyone who wants to support someone who has suffered a loss. Dr. Kubler-Ross is an excellent resource, as I found out many years ago in my first time of loss. *blessed*

        • RaintreeAnnie profile image

          RaintreeAnnie 4 years ago from UK

          Your page has really helped me on several occasions, so just wanted to say thankyou and blessed.

        • SassyGie profile image

          SassyGie 4 years ago

          In my line of work, I deal with people at the end of their lives so I can totally relate to this lens. It's a very emotionally-taxing job...

        • HealthfulMD profile image
          Author

          Kirsti A. Dyer 4 years ago from Northern California

          @ClassyGals: I am glad that the information was helpful.

        • ClassyGals profile image

          Cynthia Davis 4 years ago from Pittsburgh

          Angel Blessings for creating such an informative lens on how to deal with loss. I can't tell you how helpful this lens was to me in my time of bereavement.

        • ManualMustafaa profile image

          ManualMustafaa 4 years ago

          Very helpful lens, thank you...

        • HealthfulMD profile image
          Author

          Kirsti A. Dyer 4 years ago from Northern California

          @Tagarack: Sometimes talking out that conversation or writing out letters with what you would have liked to have said to a loved one, or even writing the conversation you might have had with them can help.

        • Tagarack profile image

          Tagarack 4 years ago

          This is a wonderful lens on a very difficult topic, but you give some very good advice and information on the grieving process. I lost my parents about four years ago, and while it's a bit easier these days, I still feel the loss a lot. The other day I found myself wanting to call them to tell them how I was doing, and I remembered that I couldn't and it hurt, bringing back a flood of memories. But anyway, thank you for sharing your thoughts on the subject and some great resources. Any blessings and likes are well deserved.

        • HealthfulMD profile image
          Author

          Kirsti A. Dyer 4 years ago from Northern California

          @ericstrate: Thank you.

        • profile image

          ericstrate 4 years ago

          Dang, what a great lens... I hope I can get good enough at this Squidoo thing to make lenses as nice as this some day! :)

        • profile image

          SchoolHolidayDates 4 years ago

          What a great lens. I'm new to Squidoo but I like what I have read here. I have experienced a lot of loss in my life and can totally relate to a lot of what is here. I highly recommend a book I read by Gloria Hunniford called "Always with You"

        • HomeDecorKnight profile image

          HomeDecorKnight 4 years ago

          Beautiful lens... I bookmarked it because I have a bad feeling I'll be consulting it soon :/

        • profile image

          akunsquidoku 4 years ago

          nice lens..:D

        • HealthfulMD profile image
          Author

          Kirsti A. Dyer 4 years ago from Northern California

          @chas65: Anniversary days can be very challenging, especially when most people do not remember the dates that someone died.

        • chas65 profile image

          chas65 4 years ago

          One way my wife dealt with the loss of our grandson was to get an antique box and fill it with personal things that belonged to him, kind of like the memorial you mentioned.

          She tried to stay busy and be with people she loves on those anniversary days.

        • HealthfulMD profile image
          Author

          Kirsti A. Dyer 4 years ago from Northern California

          @EMangl: You are fortunate to have a photo-folder full of memories.

        • EMangl profile image

          EMangl 4 years ago

          just today i received an email that a friend fell of a hill while climbing - my first reaction was to open my photo-folder and searched for the days where we have been out in nature: it was a sad journey but also a good time ...

        • BarbRad profile image

          Barbara Radisavljevic 4 years ago from Templeton, CA

          As one very acquainted with grief, I think you've done a great job on this.

        • profile image

          AlleyCatLane 4 years ago

          This is such an important topic, and you have done a beautiful job in discussing all aspects of it. Blessed!

        • profile image

          sherioz 4 years ago

          This is a very important lens. I dealt with grief regularly in my clinical work - survivors of sexual abuse would finally get to the stage of healing during which they would grieve for the childhoods they never had, the innocence that was stolen from them, the safety they should have known, etc. It is a hard and important part of healing.

        • profile image

          maraga 4 years ago

          this lens is important to me at this moment when i am mourning the death of two ministers in the government of kenya. remember the government of kenya. thank you

        • ChenB profile image

          ChenB 4 years ago

          This lens is considerable important for anybody who has ever lost someone near and dear. This lens brought up many happy memories of lost loved ones.

        • profile image

          anonymous 4 years ago

          What a great lens, full of love, and peaceful healing.

        • profile image

          anonymous 4 years ago

          Consider the book: "The Journey from Abandonment to Healing: Turn the End of a Relationship into the Beginning of a New Life" by Susan Anderson for issues related specifically to Loss/Abandonment. Great book. It includes a practical process for healing.

        • profile image

          happynutritionist 4 years ago

          You are the one to come to to find information about this subject, a friend just lost her father, happening a lot at the age we are now, losing parent. Beautiful information on so many of your lenses. Thank you. *blessed*

        • PaulWinter profile image

          PaulWinter 4 years ago

          A very helpful lens. I wrote a lens about the loss of my son not long after he died. I am disabled, so whereas others in the family could distract themselves with work i was left on my own for long periods of time. it happened nearly 4 years ago and I still think I'm grieving, but the feelings are not so intense.

          Occasionally I get comments left on my lens from parents who have just lost their child, and some have said what I have written has helped. But I know no words can take way the pain of the loss of a loved one. It is something we have to work through.

        • profile image

          rysth13 4 years ago

          Very much supportive lens for all, specially who are going through loss, grief and breavement.

        • profile image

          rysth13 4 years ago

          Very much supportive lens for all, specially who are going through loss, grief and breavement.

        • Bill Armstrong profile image

          Bill Armstrong 4 years ago from Valencia, California

          Thank you for sharing, having lost my Father and about to lose an Uncle and Cousin and day now, I appreciate these kind words

        • icansurpriseu lm profile image

          icansurpriseu lm 4 years ago

          Thanks for sharing, Great lens

        • flinnie lm profile image

          Gloria Freeman 4 years ago from Alabama USA

          Thanks for sharing these tips and info.Lot of help for the person going through loss and grief.

        • rachelscott profile image

          rachelscott 4 years ago

          Nice lens i found your lens so interesting and deserve thumb up.

        • avigarret profile image

          avigarret 4 years ago

          This lens is admirable, you've taken up a difficult subject and handled it beautifully.

        • LaraineRoses profile image

          Laraine Sims 4 years ago from Lake Country, B.C.

          Coming back again to give this lens a blessing. It is a great resource!

        • tomazg profile image

          tomazg 4 years ago

          This really is a beautiful and meaningful lens. It sure helped many people...

        • profile image

          AbandonGames 4 years ago

          a very nice lense !

        • Cari Kay 11 profile image

          Kay 4 years ago

          I know this page has helped so many just have to bless it!

        • HenkWillemse profile image

          HenkWillemse 4 years ago

          Yes loss is a real setback in one's life, but all of us have to deal with it at some time.

        • cynthiannleighton profile image

          cynthiannleighton 4 years ago

          Thanks! Useful

        • profile image

          michaelangelas 4 years ago

          Great lens!

          You hit all the checks in my grief boxes.

        • CreativeXpressi profile image

          CreativeXpressi 4 years ago

          A wonderful and informative lens! Thank you for writing this lens!!!!

        • norma-holt profile image

          norma-holt 4 years ago

          Great lens now featured on Blessed by Skiesgreen 2012 and also on Why do Humans Suffer, Hugs

        • profile image

          harmony200517 4 years ago

          Thanks for you lens.nice!

        • mrkensworld profile image

          mrkensworld 4 years ago

          Dr. Dyer great lens. I hope you are blessed as you will help many through these tough times in life. Thanks for the great lens!

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          Clairissa 4 years ago from OREFIELD, PA

          Beautiful Lens! Blessed!

        • craigmitchell profile image

          craigmitchell 4 years ago

          Thank you for such a rich and helpful lens. Some truly helpful recommendations for actions and reading material. Thank you.

        • profile image

          linkreggie 4 years ago

          Great lens, one of my favorite quote about sadness: Absolute silence leads to sadness. It is the image of death by Jean-Jacques Rousseau ...

        • peggygallyot profile image

          peggygallyot 4 years ago

          Thank you for the wisdom that you have shared

        • profile image

          MarcellaCarlton 4 years ago

          Wonderful lens!

        • Elyn MacInnis profile image

          Elyn MacInnis 4 years ago from Shanghai, China

          This lens is so amazing - I am going to refer people to come here when they have had a loss. I was also delighted to see that Steven Halpern had done more music - he is very sensitive, and I am going to go buy these albums. Thank you so much.

        • profile image

          dumutu 4 years ago

          Again, thank you for this lens. :)

        • snazzify lm profile image

          Katie Harp 4 years ago

          blessed by a squid angel :) <3

        • Rangoon House profile image

          AJ 4 years ago from Australia

          This is such a helpful collection of material. Our family recently lost a precious pet and the different unique grief responses from each of us were interesting - I now understand that better. I appreciate the quotations you site and am staggered at the statistics you share. Blessings.

        • JoanieMRuppel54 profile image

          Joanie Ruppel 4 years ago from Keller, Texas

          You are such an expert on connecting this difficult subject to ordinary people. Of course I cried while learning about the possible next step on my "journey." Thanks so much.

        • tyrosine profile image

          tyrosine 4 years ago

          wow was overwhelm by the loads of information you have on loss :D

        • profile image

          anonymous 4 years ago

          Outstanding resources on loss. It really made me think and try to face the losses in my own life.

        • intermarks profile image

          intermarks 4 years ago

          Very well and nicely build lens. We have to face the truth bravely and look forward and don't look back.

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          Matt Warren 4 years ago from Cheshire, UK

          A very powerful lens, thank you

        • profile image

          candidaabrahamson 4 years ago

          This is a well-researched, informative, poignant but helpful lens on a topic that impacts all of us at one point or another. Well-done!

        • WriterJanis2 profile image

          WriterJanis2 4 years ago

          This is truly an amazing lens. Blessed!

        • profile image

          oiloflife 4 years ago

          Thank you for the awesome lens! Very informative I loved it

        • ottoblotto profile image

          ottoblotto 4 years ago

          Beautifully written

        • TTMall profile image

          TTMall 4 years ago

          Very good information. Thanks for sharing!

        • LouisaDembul profile image

          LouisaDembul 5 years ago

          It is so true that loss and bereavement can involve so many different features of life. Very good information on how to deal with it.

        • profile image

          anonymous 5 years ago

          Dr. Dyer, thank you for sharing this wonderful lens. I have usually thought of grief in connection with losing a loved one, but your lens helps me see that we can grieve over many life experiences. While reading your list "Types of Losses," I was surprised at how many of them I have experienced. Thanks, again and all the best.

        • profile image

          squid232 5 years ago

          Very useful article. Thanks for posting.

        • biminibahamas profile image

          biminibahamas 5 years ago

          As a former medical professional I thought that I could handle personal loss. After helping my Mother and sister through hospice within 2 months of each other I came away thinking, well, I am OK. It wasn't until several months later it really hit me. Profound grief. Your lens is spot on. Thank you!

        • Pip Gerard profile image

          Pip Gerard 5 years ago

          definitely among the very best lenses on squidoo! thank you for sharing your years of work. I've always said death and grief should be talked about way more in society... I'm amazed that most of the time it seems an almost taboo subject.... can only assume that's because of the intense emotion associated with it. I think I'm still grieving the loss of my brother 13 years ago... or whether or not I supressed the grief and numbed myself from expressing it to it's full... do you believe that's possible?

        • profile image

          sellhousefastusa 5 years ago

          Having gone through loss and grief myself I identify with the pain ...thank you for a lens devoted to this topic, not an easy one.

        • accfuller profile image

          accfuller 5 years ago

          Thank you for this lens - it's very helpful :)

        • blogalexg profile image

          Alex Graham 5 years ago

          Hello Dr.,

          Loved your lens. Lots of great information! I especially liked the sections about:

          Types of Losses, My Professional Opinion on Grief & Loss, Sending Condolences by Email, Text or Instant Message.

          I write an English Language Learning Blog for international adult readers. I will probably be referencing you in the course of 2012.

          Thank again,

          Alex

          Celebrity English

        • profile image

          VillaDejaBlue 5 years ago

          Nice lens.

        • Country-Sunshine profile image

          Country Sunshine 5 years ago from Texas

          I can definitely identify with your "Grief will make a new person out of you, if it doesn't kill you in the making." You have provided a wealth of great information. Thank you so much!

        • vkumar05 profile image

          vkumar05 5 years ago

          A highly introspective Lens. Thanks for sharing.

        • profile image

          anonymous 5 years ago

          Thank you for the lens.

        • goo2eyes lm profile image

          goo2eyes lm 5 years ago

          thank you for sharing this lens. whenever we have a family reunion, we visit my parents' graves and recite the rosary for them. i am pretty sure that when it is my time to go, they will pick me up and gather near my deathbed.

        • profile image

          nelsonkana 5 years ago

          Nice lens. Today am exploring top lens. Your lens is interesting and informative.

        • profile image

          jimmyworldstar 5 years ago

          Thank you for the lens. Loss and grief can be very crippling, especially if it's of a loved one. I know people who end up becoming very depressed as a result.

        • Jimmy Gavin profile image

          Jimmy Gavin 5 years ago

          Thanks for sharing, always a difficult time for everyone

        • CNelson01 profile image

          Chuck Nelson 5 years ago from California

          Helpful...thank you.

        • tvyps profile image

          Teri Villars 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona

          Thanks for sharing....blessed.

        • CanInsure profile image

          CanInsure 5 years ago

          I think grief can be very powerful.

        • krakensquid profile image

          krakensquid 5 years ago

          Another fantastic lens of yours!

        • jadehorseshoe profile image

          jadehorseshoe 5 years ago

          This lens is the encyclopedia of sad; that's a good thing.

        • dwnovacek profile image

          dwnovacek 5 years ago

          What an incredible lens. Over the past three years I've suffered through 11 of the types of loss you mention here. I now understand so much more about my feelings and reactions during this time. Angel Blessed!

        • SiochainGraSonas profile image

          SiochainGraSonas 5 years ago

          Finding this lens at this time is a blessing. This was very helpful to me.

        • viscri8 profile image

          viscri8 5 years ago

          Blessed -- this lens about grief,loss and bereavement is certainly helpful.

        • modernchakra profile image

          modernchakra 5 years ago

          Beautiful way to highlight our need for emotional health as well as our physical/body health. The loss in productivity can be seen as a direct reflection of the loss of personal productivity the person grieving is going through as well. Productivity meaning a continual enjoyment of life, not easy to find when grieving. Sometimes it is best just to listen I have found. Just listen and empathize as much as possible... more of hand holding and guiding than pushing and prodding. There is no wonder this lens ranked #1: Great work! Thank you.

        • Mamaboo LM profile image

          Mamaboo LM 5 years ago

          Thank You sooooo Much for this lens. I had a friend die last Friday and came across your lens today! So, THANK YOU!!!

        • cwkerns lm profile image

          cwkerns lm 5 years ago

          Very good lens. Helpful to many I'm sure.

        • profile image

          slotowngal 5 years ago

          Wonderful lens on grief and loss! Well put together and kept me reading to the end.

        • profile image

          Lilly-n-Lloyd 5 years ago

          Very important lens on the bereavement process. Everyone experiencing a loss should read this.

        • profile image

          BillSimmons 5 years ago

          Awesome job on this lens!

        • profile image

          TravelingRae 5 years ago

          I have experienced a lot of grief and it is in those moments that I feel the most alive because grief tells me that I have loved and truly been present in a relationship or situation. Beautiful lens.

        • ElizabethSheppard profile image

          Elizabeth Sheppard 5 years ago from Bowling Green, Kentucky

          What a great lens. There is so much to explore here. Thank you for sharing these great insights and helping people with loss, grief and bereavement. You are doing a good deed.

        • profile image

          anonymous 5 years ago

          I saw your lens on the Squidoo Front Page and came over to thank you once again for this awesome and inspiring page. It helped me so much because of the grief I had after 11 people all loved died within one years time. That was hard to bare, but you helped me, so thank you very much, again. ~ Blessed by Squid Angel Tipi!

        • gottaloveit2 profile image

          gottaloveit2 5 years ago

          As a caregiver, I particularly enjoyed this lens. Grief strikes me at different times of the day at at different severities. I may find it lurking when I realize my Mom can no longer hold her fork or her shuffling feet are more pronounced.

        • profile image

          Donnette Davis 5 years ago from South Africa

          Again a magnificent and touching lens. Thank you!

        • sousababy profile image

          sousababy 5 years ago

          An excellent lens that I will be featuring on my new one titled, 'Living Articles on Squidoo.' Thank you for putting together a very healing lens - many folks will benefit from your work. Take good care,

          Rose

        • retrochalet profile image

          Cindy Fahnestock-Schafer 5 years ago from Hedgesville, WV

          Thanks for this lens. I lost my mother 7 months ago and life will never be normal again. This lens helped me in some way.

        • profile image

          WendyMarsh 5 years ago

          What a wealth of excellent information! I'd like to feature a link to your lens on my Widowhood 101 lens.

        • profile image

          JoshK47 5 years ago

          What a beautiful lens. Thank you for sharing.

        • UKGhostwriter profile image

          UKGhostwriter 5 years ago

          A very well informed topic - thank you

        • profile image

          ScalpItchTips 5 years ago

          Very much needed thank you

        • Philippians468 profile image

          Philippians468 5 years ago

          thank you for sharing this insight with us all. the art piece "Piecing Together a New Life" is very profound. cheers

        • aesta1 profile image

          Mary Norton 6 years ago from Ontario, Canada

          I did not realize how broad the scope of loss is...an eye opener really when you look at people who can't seem to pick themselves up.

        • aesta1 profile image

          Mary Norton 6 years ago from Ontario, Canada

          I did not realize how broad the scope of loss is...an eye opener really when you look at people who can't seem to pick themselves up.

        • VarietyWriter2 profile image

          VarietyWriter2 6 years ago

          Blessed by a SquidAngel :)

        • HealthfulMD profile image
          Author

          Kirsti A. Dyer 6 years ago from Northern California

          @jillian22: Yes it can occur. A lot depends on the age of the child.

        • profile image

          jillian22 6 years ago

          Is there a separation of anxiety and loss when young children loose a parent and a close relative in a tragic loss?

        • profile image

          swandster 6 years ago

          You have put so much time and research into this,what a wonderful resource for all who have lost someone.

          Thank you so much

        • profile image

          scar4 6 years ago

          Your lens gives me some hints how to deal with those emotions better and rationally, 'cause I've already recognized that I won't be afraid of them any more! Thank you, Comfortdoc!

        • LotusMalas profile image

          LotusMalas 6 years ago

          What a fabulous lens! Favorited and lenrolled to Yoga for Grieving!

        • Spook LM profile image

          Spook LM 6 years ago

          I had to come back to this masterpiece. Blessed by an Angel.

        • profile image

          kleinkrediteohneschufa 6 years ago

          ..and suddenly i had to think about the death of my father when i was a child ;(

        • Heather426 profile image

          Heather Burns 6 years ago from Wexford, Ireland

          unbelievable resource lens! Congrats on the purple star!

        • RhondaAlbom profile image

          Rhonda Albom 6 years ago from New Zealand

          Beautiful done on a difficult topic. Congratulations on a well deserved purple star.

        • norma-holt profile image

          norma-holt 6 years ago

          Wonderful advice, great topic and obviously written by someone who has researched the subject deeply. *-*Blessed*-* and featured on Sprinkled with Stardust and also on Child Abuse

        • profile image

          anonymous 6 years ago

          Thank you, Kirsti, for providing an excellent resource on grief. It is a topic that is not talked about often enough from the time we were young. Bravo!

        • profile image

          alika2010 7 years ago

          Helpful information. Thanks!

        • profile image

          alika2010 7 years ago

          Helpful information. Thanks!

        • profile image

          Cure-Anxiety 7 years ago

          Really enjoyed and learning about the grieving process especially the part on educating your self. Excellent information Thank You!

        • profile image

          richybird 7 years ago

          Very useful information, you have a talent of writing.

          Thanks

        • AshleyBretting-MS profile image

          AshleyBretting-MS 7 years ago

          Happy to lensroll your work - I like what you've provided here :)

        • Spook LM profile image

          Spook LM 7 years ago

          Just came back to thank you, belatedly, for going out of your way to help me at a bad time. Of course I was too selfish to think of this at the time. Blessed by an Angel.

        • profile image

          svateerth 7 years ago

          Loss, grief and bereavement

          We all know well,

          Possibly

          Life is

          Testing us,

          Our status

          on evolving.

        • profile image

          svateerth 7 years ago

          Loss, grief and bereavement

          We all know well,

          Possibly

          Life is

          Testing us,

          Our status

          on evolving.

        • profile image

          mitchking 7 years ago

          Grief and the loss of a loved one can have such a huge impact on our lives as well as our health. My father recently lost someone very special to him and he is still feeling the effects months later.

        • JenOfChicago LM profile image

          JenOfChicago LM 7 years ago

          Excellent information.

        • Spook LM profile image

          Spook LM 7 years ago

          I'm glad I came here today and as mentioned my Mum died last night and I'm so far away.

        • Holley Web profile image

          Holley Web 7 years ago

          Thank you. I needed to be here. I will be back.

        • profile image

          anonymous 7 years ago

          Very nice and timley write up. Thanks for sharing some truly amazing information.

        • profile image

          anonymous 7 years ago

          Very good resource Kirsti.

        • colibri lm profile image

          colibri lm 7 years ago

          Wow, the most detailed and caring lens I have seen to date. A job well done!

        • profile image

          mikeitloffe 7 years ago

          Splendid job, it helps people. 5 stars favorites fan.

        • profile image

          anonymous 7 years ago

          I recently emailed this to a friend who was grieving the loss of a beloved pet, this lens is helpful to anyone facing any kind of loss.

        • profile image

          anonymous 8 years ago

          This is so helpful! - I still deal with the lose of loved ones and appreciate this lens so much. I don't always leave comments in the guest book, but I see my sister Shelly was the last commenter. - So many hurting people! I believe having someone acknowledge who we must feel is the most important, and you have done that so well.

        • profile image

          anonymous 8 years ago

          Your lens came immediately to mind today when I was out shopping and struck up a conversation with another shopper who shared about the recent deaths of several friends. I'm emailing this to her, I know it will be of support.

        • profile image

          PBruce 8 years ago

          Amazingly detailed a nice. After reading, I can't help including one of the photos into my blog at http://esertia.brighterplanet.org

          Hope you don't mind. I made sure you got the credit.

        • squid-janices7 profile image

          squid-janices7 8 years ago

          One of the best lenses that I've seen on Squidoo. A well-deserved 5 stars!

        • Arananthi LM profile image

          Arananthi LM 8 years ago

          Top knotch. Thank you for this beautiful lens.

        • profile image

          Good_MEdison 8 years ago

          Great lens and very much needed. We all will grieve at one time or another. Each in our own way. 5 star lens.

        • mistyblue75605 lm profile image

          mistyblue75605 lm 8 years ago

          Nice work. A lot of information into a deep subjuct, that was pulled off well.

        • OhMe profile image

          Nancy Tate Hellams 8 years ago from Pendleton, SC

          Very beautifully done. Lensrolling to my Thanksgiving Prayer.

        • SandyMertens profile image

          Sandy Mertens 8 years ago from Frozen Tundra

          Great lens. 5 stars!

        • profile image

          Number1Athlete 8 years ago

          What an amazing lens...It reminds me of my brother.

        • profile image

          Karolsstuff 8 years ago

          5 stars! Very informative lens! I am sure you are proud of this one! The one I am mostly proud of is http://www.squidoo.com/teenagesuicide. Take a peak if you are interested!

        • profile image

          bhtysg 8 years ago

          Great lens.

          everloss review

        • profile image

          FlowersByDottie 8 years ago

          Excellent lens,This topic always needs to be open for people well done ! I rated 5 stars,lens rolled you to both my lenses and added you to my favorites.Please stop by my lenses thanks.

          Posted

          Oct.7 2008

        • profile image

          FlowersByDottie 8 years ago

          Excellent lens,This topic always needs to be open for people well done ! I rated 5 stars,lens rolled you to both my lenses and added you to my favorites.Please stop by my lenses thanks.

          Posted

          Oct.7 2008

        • profile image

          Gwen4045 8 years ago

          thank you so much. i really appreciate this lens...

        • profile image

          anonymous 8 years ago

          A powerful resource with insightful info. Thank you

        • CrypticFragment1 profile image

          Tammy Winand 8 years ago from McleodGanj HP India

          I need to explore this lens more. I am going thru a very hard time myself right now. I left my job and had things lined up which fell thru, now am unable to find work and relying on friends for a place to stay...but really struggling as our personalities clash. Can't even unpack etc etc. I am definitely grieving loss of job and identity.

        • profile image

          anonymous 8 years ago

          you put so much effort in creating huge lenses! nowonder they rank good! :) cheers!

        • profile image

          bigqin 8 years ago

          Nice lens,learn much from the lens, Thanks for your share.

        • LaraineRoses profile image

          Laraine Sims 8 years ago from Lake Country, B.C.

          Another wonderful lens. 5 stars, favorite and lensrolled.

        • rob-hemphill profile image

          Rob Hemphill 8 years ago from Ireland

          This is a truly wonderful piece of work, and so helpful. A definite 5*'s and fav!

        • profile image

          BradChamp 8 years ago

          Nice lens with lots of useful information. If you are willing to lose weight then visit my lens Fat loss 4 Idiots

        • profile image

          ubon2006 8 years ago

          Thanks for sharing nice lens no.1

        • AshleyBretting-MS profile image

          AshleyBretting-MS 8 years ago

          Nice work here with a lot of helpful information

        • profile image

          miragana 8 years ago

          Good day! I like your lens. It is very informative and has a very good quality in it.

          www.Squidoo.com/MPI

          mliragana.blogspot.com

          Thank you very much for your time.

        • profile image

          WallaceNuanez 8 years ago

          Great lens Kristi! Keep them coming!

        • teamlane profile image

          teamlane 8 years ago

          As usual, another wonderful lens Kirsti!

          Blessed by a Squid Angel today! :)

          Colleen ~ www.squidoo.com/squid-angel

        • profile image

          ChristiannaGarrett-Martin 8 years ago

          An excellent and extensive lens that is a great help to people in their time of need. 5 stars and Favorite. :)

        • profile image

          TheWicker 8 years ago

          Interesting lens and nice layout! Thanks for sharing this info. Urban, lensmaster of Anxiety Disorder Treatment

        • profile image

          curerestlesslegsyndrome 8 years ago

          Nice work comfortdoc. Losing a loved one is difficult, but you make some great points. Just gave you 5 stars. Check out my cure restless leg syndrome lens and let me know what you think!

        • profile image

          scorpionmagnet 8 years ago

          Nice job man. You have presented great article for this topic. Keep it up.

        • profile image

          yeastinfectioncures 8 years ago

          Great lens! Losing the one you love is the hardest parts of life. Getting over a loss isn't always easy.

        • profile image

          SharonMay 8 years ago

          Thank you for your wonderful lens. It is just what I need right now with losing my Mom and Dad in only 9 months. I have lens rolled it to Alzheimers disease as it will be a great help to those of us who have a loved one with Alzheimer's or have lost a loved one with Alzheimer's.

        • profile image

          Keaka77 8 years ago

          Thanks for bringing this lens to us. Great lens. Although i haven t had to deal with the death of someone close this was very informative.

          childrens furniture

        • profile image

          scarfeet 8 years ago

          a great lens, its true grief can't be shared and everyone has to bear their own, but to look at it its only fair this way

          feel free to visit Acne Treatments

        • profile image

          Ileneonhealth 8 years ago

          Great lens.Keep up the good work!

        • profile image

          anonymous 8 years ago

          Hey love the work you have done. I've not had to cope directly with the death of someone close but it will happen and knowing your site is here is helpful. keep up the good work

        • profile image

          Angel-Sky 8 years ago

          Cool! This is a wonderful lens! Thanks for bringing it to us! Please check out my site about low cost car insurance, how to obtain cheap classic car insurance and car insurance for females 5 stars for your wonderful lens!! I really appreciate your effort.

        • profile image

          Dr_Joe 8 years ago

          Very informative.

          Great lens. Rated it 5 stars.

          Feel free to visit sexual health.

        • profile image

          qlcoach 8 years ago

          Your site is awesome. I have been a counselor and therapist for more than 38 years. Please consider interacting with site too:

          http://www.squidoo.com/emotionalsuffering

          Sincerely:

          Gary Eby MSW: author and therapist

        • profile image

          johnmarah 8 years ago

          A very good lens, I like the Healthy Coping Strategies, was great to discover your lens.

          John Marah

          Hemroids

        • profile image

          Ileneonhealth 8 years ago

          WOW.. CONGRATULATIONS...

          NICE LENS!!!!

        • debnet profile image

          Debbie 8 years ago from England

          I just lensrolled this to my Selective Mutism lens.

          Best wishes

        • TopStyleTravel profile image

          TopStyleTravel 8 years ago

          Congrats on No. 1 in Top 100.

          Great lens with much wisdom.

        • profile image

          Faiz 8 years ago

          You deserve to be on the first position. The information will help many people to cope with grief and loss.

        • HealthfulMD profile image
          Author

          Kirsti A. Dyer 8 years ago from Northern California

          Thanks to all who have visited the lens, left comments and shared their stories. I wasn't sure how the lens would be received when I created it. I am glad to discover it has been such a helpful resource to so many.

        • profile image

          sstoark 8 years ago

          Amazing lens, Thanks to squidoo for providing such a platform to share such stuff.

        • profile image

          romyraut 8 years ago

          Loved your opinion Kristie, some amazing stuff on your lens.

        • profile image

          daviddorf 8 years ago

          Yes, Loss is to loose something which you wanted.

          That is generally the way Loss can be defined.

          A very interesting lens have shared it with my friends.

        • profile image

          marywhitewhite 8 years ago

          "Grief" is part of life and all of us should accept it.

        • profile image

          Hhank 8 years ago

          Life has good and bad times, we need to get along all aspects, or else life will not be fun and will be too monotonous.

        • profile image

          anonymous 8 years ago

          Excellent lens. Great info and layout. 5 stars for you.

          Warmest Regards,

          MonsterTruck

          Lens master of Wartrol Review and Genital Warts.

        • profile image

          Robert Locke 8 years ago

          Super information - it will take a long time to study ! Geat layout and love the photgraphs too - now I can see why it is number one !

        • profile image

          anonymous 8 years ago

          I really enjoyed reading your article. Thank you for all of your research!

        • profile image

          intheflow 8 years ago

          Good work on a much needed subject. Loss can occur of so many different levels and it all boils down to our attachment to what we think is permanent.

        • profile image

          ricarde 8 years ago

          This lens deserves a masterpiece award! Wonderful information! 5 stars!

        • profile image

          dtbs 8 years ago

          interesting lens! thanks for sharing this info! please check mine out at----------------> Kava Kava.

        • profile image

          LeeCS 8 years ago

          Helpful information. Thanks for bringing it to us! Please check out my site about cheap car insurance and how to obtain cheap car insurance for teenagers

        • eccles1 profile image

          eccles1 8 years ago

          I think everybody goes through pain and sadness when there is a loss it has been 6 months and my heart is still broken but its what we do with it that matters do we move on or do we get eaten by pain and stay.your lens proves we are not alone its normal to go through it thanks for your help

        • profile image

          The-Bohemian 8 years ago

          affirming to come across this today as I introduced a bereavement program to the local funeral care providers in my community. Recently childhood friends lost their Father, as I did years ago, and it occurred to me what a hardship 'coming home' can be under difficult circumstances. Arranging lodging should not be complicated nor a fiscal burden. I am hoping the very affordable use of the B & B for the privacy of loved ones overnight needs can help allievate the stress of some of those early 'motions' that still must be met. Truthfully, I was hesitant, but after reading your incredible and expert lens, I hope to offer a service not often addressed with great compassion: a comforting and respectful place in which to grieve and celebrate those bonds of a lifetime that are so terribly fragile with the loss of a loved one. Thank you for your attention to a subject we all encounter, yet feel so acutely alone with.

        • profile image

          swvisions 8 years ago

          Thanks for the information, excellent lens. I just lost both parents recently and reading about the grief process has taught me much about what I'm going through.

        • profile image

          erict979 8 years ago

          We all experience loss and difficult times. You've provided a nice source of info and discussion to the community. Thank you! :)

          Lisa

        • profile image

          michelletas 8 years ago

          I admire your lens lots of information here...

          I lost my stepfather to heart attack around the same time I was already having panic attacks.

          His death really set me back. There was nothing around like a squidoo lens to help understand loss and ways top deal with grief.

          Thanks...

          Michelle Tason

        • healthadvisor1 profile image

          healthadvisor1 8 years ago

          Great lens. I wish I was able to read this the last quarter of 2007. That was the time that I loss someone beloved at the same time the downfall of my career. I was so upset and has moments of depressions. I guess for the moment of loss, you have to divert yourself into others things so you cannot succumb to the feelings. It is very hurtful.

        • profile image

          Ramo 8 years ago

          Great Lens, sure helps in the time of economic recession. The lens is very detailed and informative about the subject. Man, everyone needs a dose of comfort!

        • profile image

          CarlT 8 years ago

          This is very good lens - If there was a ten star rating this would deserve it. Going through this lens has helped me put some thoughts into perspective. Recently a good friend had a tragic loss in their family and another family member has fallen seriously ill, I sent this site link to them and I believe they will benefit huge from this information. I am really glad I found this and will be bookmarking this for sure. Thank You.

        • profile image

          DebbieJohnson 8 years ago

          Congratulation on making it to the first!

          Well done!

        • vitar profile image

          vitar 8 years ago

          Excellent lens, well done! I've bookmarked it, thanks. I invite you to check out my Eulogy & Funeral lenses

        • katiyana profile image

          katiyana 8 years ago

          This is such an awesome lens.... I built a lens about my late husband to help me celebrate his life and what he meant to me. Dave Daugherty touched my life in so many ways, and life without him will never be the same for those of us who loved him so. 5*'s...

        • profile image

          livinglifesatisfied 8 years ago

          Great lens, I wish I would have known about squidoo when my grandmother passed away. The information and people here really find ways to share and help you find your way!

          -Bless

        • Franksterk profile image

          Frankie Kangas 8 years ago from California

          Excellent lens. I'm glad I found it. I just lost a cat and a good friend and I'm still dealing with the grief. I keep thinking I got through it and then it hits me again. I have to say that writing and delivering the obituary at my friend's service was cathartic and I'd highly recommend people write an obit even if it's just for themselves or to give to the family. Thanks for the advice and the resources. Invaluable. 5 stars, favorite and I'm a FAN! Bear hugs, Frankie

        • KimGiancaterino profile image

          KimGiancaterino 8 years ago

          You don't seem to need help from the Squid Angels on this one, but I'm blessing it anyway.

        • profile image

          KG-peaceofmymind 8 years ago

          Excellent information, I need to pass this on to others! Thank You and God Bless

        • profile image

          RacingGirl 8 years ago

          Hi Comfortdoc,

          I love your lens. Given you 5 stars.

          Don't forget to drop by my "Acne Treatment by Remedies of Nature" Lens.

        • LDWorld profile image

          LDWorld 8 years ago

          Congratulations on making TOP 100!

          Useful and helpful info.

        • profile image

          BodyBuildingKing 8 years ago

          Great lens. I will be bookmarking this page.

        • profile image

          Donna_Fallon 8 years ago

          Hiya,

          Brilliant Lens.5 Stars.Stop By - satellite TV for PC .

          Donna :0)

          Just

          Join my fan club

        • triathlontraini1 profile image

          triathlontraini1 8 years ago

          We all experience loss and difficult times. You've provided a nice source of info and discussion to the community. Thank you! :)

        • profile image

          anonymous 8 years ago

          Hi, you have great and very informative lens. 5 stars of course.

        • profile image

          anonymous 8 years ago

          Nice pictures and useful information. thanks! 5 stars.

        • profile image

          WrinkleCreamSpecialist 8 years ago

          By the way, I forgot to mention, I gave this lense my high five too ;)

        • profile image

          WrinkleCreamSpecialist 8 years ago

          Wow, you have really done a great job here. Thanks for making this, and putting so much effort in it. Really appreciated.

        • profile image

          anonymous 8 years ago

          What doesn't break you makes you stronger. Excellent. 5/5

        • profile image

          TimSullivan 8 years ago

          Hi awesome lens, I have given you 5 stars, here is my lens "HealthyFoodsToday" visit it once if you like it vote my lens.

          HealthyFoodsToday

        • profile image

          WhippetTalk 8 years ago

          This is one of those subjects where we all can say that we have experienced at one time or another. A great resource to send someone you know who is going through a loss. I'm bookmarking this. And don't forget - the loss of pet! Many people are profoundly affected by the loss of a beloved pet.

        • M Schaut profile image

          Margaret Schaut 8 years ago from Detroit

          A great big welcome to the Tough Topics Group!

        • TonyPayne profile image

          Tony Payne 8 years ago from Southampton, UK

          Very good and detailed lens. Such a sad topic, but the information here will hopefully help a lot of people who have had to deal with the loss of a loved one. It's going to happen to us all one day, already has for me several times.

        • Rolas LM profile image

          Rolas LM 8 years ago

          Amazing lens! Very interesting information. 5 from me! Please visit my lenses

          http://hubpages.com/@rolaslm

          Best regards!

        • profile image

          HerbalRemedies 8 years ago

          Very informative lense. You've obviously put a lot of time and care into it and it definitely made me stop and think. thank you!

          ............

          Visit the herbal remedies industries most trusted website for the leading, specially formulated, natural remedies manufactured in therapeutic dosage. Buy 2 Get 1 FREE! Free Shipping!

        • profile image

          akrause2112 8 years ago

          Another valuable addition to the BIG LENSES Group!

        • profile image

          ShortSaleRealtor 8 years ago

          great lens 5 stars 4 u

        • profile image

          krisManuel 8 years ago

          Hello Kirsti, well done on an interesting topic. thanks for sharing it with us! 5-stars!

          If you have time, check out my brand new lens on the Verve! Thanks!

        • Tiddledeewinks LM profile image

          Tiddledeewinks LM 8 years ago

          I still am grieving over my loss of my beloved Old English Sheepdog,Tobie who was my dearest, best friend. One day she was a happy dog and then I can't believe she's gone. The pain in my heart from the part of me that died with her is unbareable. I've made a lens on Do Animals Go To Heaven? I couldn't do much of anything for awhile, but am slowly trying to make more lenses now. It is very difficult with the memories. I want somehow to make people aware that the vets could have done more but refused for my lack of money.

        • profile image

          onlinehandyman 8 years ago

          Fantastic lens - I'm OK now, but wasn't 7 years ago when I lost my wife. What you are doing here is great - it so important not to be alone! Thanks! Scott Becker

        • profile image

          BlackSirius 8 years ago

          Wonderful lens! Rated 5 stars! Here to share my site Cold Sore and my lens about Cold Sores Please have a look and give me some comment. Thanks

        • profile image

          3DPhotoCharmJewelry 8 years ago

          Great lens on loss and bereavement. Maybe you could ad some information on Memorial and Sympathy Gifts

        • profile image

          StewartC 9 years ago

          nice lens! i rated you 5 star!!

        • profile image

          StacymomBiz 9 years ago

          Wonderful lens - great information. This will help people who need help during their difficult time. 5 stars and favorited!

          -Stacy

        • profile image

          Acne-Treatment-Guru 9 years ago

          Your Favorite Descriptive Quote is astonishing. I think everyone who is aware about this will not dye in its making.

          Great lens! Great topic!

        • teamlane profile image

          teamlane 9 years ago

          Blessed by a Squid Angel today! :)

          Colleen ~ https://hubpages.com/community/squid-angel

          ~Ă~

        • cdreyer03 lm profile image

          cdreyer03 lm 9 years ago

          Great lens, I think dealing with the loss of a loved one is one of the most difficult thinks to deal with. Thank you for your information. I ranked you 5 stars! Check out my Lose a Double Chin lens and rank me too.

        • profile image

          fightingfatigue 9 years ago

          What a great lens. It is great to see a physician help people deal with the emotional aspects of loss and death.

        • profile image

          Rupert 9 years ago

          A Great Guide. At the end though, it is just hard.

        • profile image

          Home-healthcare 9 years ago

          Outstanding guide to understanding the many faces of grief and healthy outlets. I've seen too many women lose babies and bottle it up for years, with it festering deep inside like spiritual gangreen. Then there's the loss of the loved one you knew as she degenerates with Alzheimer's or Dementia. And the loss of identity with corporate downsizing for someone who went from being a big-shot to a "struggling nobody." Yes, the many faces of grief... You are doing a great service here!

        • profile image

          thomasz 9 years ago

          Interesting lens. Nice info.

        • profile image

          Donna_Fallon 9 years ago

          Hiya

          5 stars Lens!,Check out my lens on fat belly.

          :) Donna

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          wrinkleskincream 9 years ago

          Hi,

          Good and useful lens.Grief may not always be about the death of a loved one, it may also be the loss of things people value or care for deeply. This is a natural reaction to a loss.You're voted. See my lens about

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        • KimGiancaterino profile image

          KimGiancaterino 9 years ago

          This is a great resource for people dealing with a loss.

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          RinchenChodron 9 years ago

          I liked the list of helping caregivers cope with greif.

          Very comprehensive and helpful lens.

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