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- Personality Disorders
Heather Mills and Paul McCartney: What happens when you break up with a Narcissist?
Heather Mills McCartney is a very good example of a pathological Narcissist. They do say ‘Hell hath no fury like a Narcissist scorned,’ and when it came to her divorce from Paul McCartney this was certainly the case. During and after the very public Paul McCartney/Heather Mills split the soon to be ex-Mrs McCartney did everything imaginable to try to keep herself in the spotlight at all costs. Why you might ask?
For a person with Narcissistic Personality Disorder Narcissistic Supply is a vital component to their lives. The desire for admiration, praise and positive feedback from other people is what makes the Narcissist function well. However if they can’t have positive adoration then to them notoriety or scandal is the next best thing and still a source of Narcissistic supply. Problems often arise for the Narcissist though when they strive to mould and manipulate their Narcissistic supply into how they want that person to be.
The Narcissist of course always assumes that they are superior in every way to their sources of Narcissist supply and as such know better than they do what they should be doing. However because the Narcissist is in fact lacking in empathy for others and cannot see life from anybody else’s shoes they often misinterpret their Narcissistic supplies reactions to any given situation.
Invariably often the manipulated source of Narcissistic supply feels put upon by the Narcissist and often does not react in the way the Narcissist predicts. While the person with Narcissistic Personality Disorder always calculates the outcome of their manipulation it is always only in terms of what manipulating their source of Narcissistic supply will gain them. They do not have any capacity to see how their actions might affect their victim. To them that is just not relevant to the situation.
Sometimes the lies the Narcissist tells to get their own way can be very disturbing to their victims and this will not even have occurred to the Narcissistic person. They simply do not have the inner capacity to calculate how their fictitious account of events would upset anyone else. They can only see their manipulative plans in terms of how it will advance their own cause.
Often the pain and trauma the Narcissist inflicts on family members or loved ones is as much due to their lack of knowledge of how people with real feelings will react to their manipulation as it is actually a direct all out attack on their victims.
This of course is no consolation to the victim who is now left to deal with the mess their Narcissist may have unwittingly created. While a Narcissist may just be totally oblivious and probably largely unconcerned with the grief they are causing what happens when you confront a Narcissist head on?
If you decide to tackle a Narcissist face to faceabout their lies and tell them you do not in fact believe what they are saying to you then you will undoubtedly be attacked viciously.
Challenging a Narcissist and trying to topple them from their pedestal is a very dangerous and potentially detrimental action. Once you point out the many inconsistencies in their story then you are seriously stepping over the line as far as they are concerned. The insult and injury you are now inflicting on them is so severe and traumatic to them that they may now lose every semblance of normality that they were pretending to portray.
The Narcissists public persona is vital to their life. Any attack on it is the most insulting thing you can do to them. They will have worked long and hard at concocting their public image and now here you are a mere inferior source of Narcissistic supply who is supposed to be stupid and incompetent and you just should not be able to see through their pious act. So how could you possibly be telling them that their public face is a farce and that you can see straight through it?
This is all out war as far as the Narcissist is concerned. To them this is an assault on everything they believe themselves to be, their image, their reputation, their standing within the family and their future success. To them it doesn’t matter that they were the perpetrator of their current dilemma they cannot or do not want to comprehend this now it is simply all about you being out to get them even though nothing may have been further from your mind.
You are now going to be labelled as the aggressor who is simply attacking them for no good reason other than the fact that you hate them and want to shame and humiliate them. You have always been jealous of them they may decide and anyway you are just a stupid, evil person with nothing better to do than persecute them.
Underneath a Narcissist baring their teeth and raging furiously to the world is actually a highly insecure person who is deeply affected by your words even if they still do not care about the havoc they have inflicted on you and in fact they do not even realize it is there at all.
All the Narcissist will care about is how an inferior person like you could have the audacity to challenge them and now you must pay dearly for your impertinence. Nobody survives such an encounter without receiving serious, long term scars which you may have a difficult time coming to terms with.
The Narcissist who has received a Narcissistic injury will stop at nothing to exact their pound of flesh. The more family members or loved ones there are to be caught in the crossfire the busier the Narcissist will become trying to turn them against you. This is an extremely upsetting and traumatic ordeal for the Narcissists victim. As I am sure Paul Mc Cartney learned the hard way. Also it has been well reported that Heather Mills still believes it was all Paul McCartney’s fault and she was nothing but the totally innocent victim in her marriage break up. Okay then I rest my case!