- Quality of Life & Wellness
How to Make Someone Listen to You
Why don't people listen?
Often people don't listen to you because they've got so many interesting or exciting thoughts of their own running through their heads. Thoughts like:
- I have a story that's better than this.
- I can solve their problem.
- I wonder what's on at the cinema tonight.
- I'd love to tell this great joke I just heard.
Show them how to listen
If you're not being listened to, you'll have to be a good listener for your friends so that they can understand how it's done. Not only will they learn from you how to listen properly, but they'll feel heard and will be more likely to listen to you in return. Even if they don't, you'll know you've given them your best. Think about your friends too - if they never listen, are they really the ones you want?
Working it out
Sometimes simply by talking for a few minutes uninterrupted to a friend, family member or even a stranger, you can solve your own problems.
Demonstrate you're listening
When you're listening to someone, gently repeat back what you've heard them say. Also try to include what you thought they felt. They'll know that you really did hear them and that you're there for them. You can say things such as:
- "I'm really pleased, You sound over the moon. I know you've wanted to go climbing for ages."
- "You mean you got that guitar you showed me? I can hear how excited you are. When can I hear you play it?"
With a friend or member of your family, set a timer for five minutes and take it in turns to sped that five minutes talking. If the times feels a little forced, maybe go and get some coffee or go to the pub and whoever buys the drinks earns the chance to do the talking first. If it's your turn to talk, ask the other person to listen to you without interrupting, just occasionally summing up what you have been saying and guessing at how you might be feeling. If they want to, they can ask you a question or two. After five minutes, swap, and you listen. After the ten minutes is up, have a chat about how you felt listening and being listened to. This will show you both how rewarding it is to listen to others and how much both of you can get out of it.
How to Meditate on Your Own
In Eastern religion, meditation is used as a means of achieving a higher state of consciousness and spiritual enlightenment. Meditation confers many physical and mental benefits, lowering blood pressure, improving the circulation of the blood, relieving tension, stress and insomnia and promoting restful sleep. It can also help in the relief of pain and empowers people to cope more effectively with the stresses and strains of a busy, hectic life. All these factors have a part to play in anti-aging and meditation can be regarded as a form of purely mental exercise, combined with correct breathing and relaxation.
Like all disciplines, meditation requires practice and perseverance but once the technique is mastered, many people find that they can slip into it quite easily, even amidst the hustle and bustle of everyday life.
Learn how to meditate
Some people prefer to meditate on their own from the start but others find it easier to join a group with a leader who can offer advice. If you wish to try to meditate on your own, choose a room or surroundings where you feel tranquil and peaceful and where you can be confident that you will not be interrupted.
Sit on a comfortable chair or seat with your hands resting in your lap and close your eyes, if you wish. Concentrate on one calming, pleasant or neutral thought or look at a photograph, object or scene that has the same effect. Be aware of your breathing, ensuring that you can feel the movement of the diaphragm drawing air into and out of the lungs. Breathe deeply and slowly, filling and emptying the lungs completely, keeping your mouth shut so that air enters and leaves through the nose. Consciously relax all your muscles, beginning with the head and face, to ensure that there is no tension anywhere. If intrusive, exciting or troublesome thoughts intrude to not dwell on them but concentrate on the calm focus that you have chosen.
Continue in this way for a period of time that you have chosen and then allow yourself a few minutes to return to your usual state. It is a good idea to move your arms and legs around a little before standing up as you may feel light-headed. You may occasionally fall asleep during meditation but, in any event, you will feel mentally and physically refreshed and more ready to face the rest of the day's activities.