How to not take yourself so seriously
WELCOME TO HOW TO LAUGH AT YOURSELF
Frankly, 'tis better to make light of oneself than spend hours coiffing one's curly locks in front of the mirror or going into conniption fits about what to wear to work to impress one's boss, a client, or a colleague, not to mention bending over backwards to earn a blessed brownie point, or busting one's butt to get the golden key to that elegant executive washroom.
On the other hand, as cartoonist "vimrod" might say, if no one takes you seriously, you can always blame it on the silly soul that's lurking, lounging, or lollygagging around inside of you!
Image Credit: Vimrod cartoon created by Ralph Lazar and Lisa Swerling - vimrod.com
Life's too mysterious ... don't take it too serious!
Message from a Mythical Monster - Here be a Dandy Dragon.
1. Don't take life too seriously. Instead of trying to slay a dragon, why not tame one!
2. When you're faced with fire, try toasting apples or chestnuts they taste way better than weiners or marshmallows.
3. If the only song you can sing is "Puff, the Magic Dragon" in the shower, welcome to the Weird Water Dragon Club.
Image Credit: Posted Sept. 26, 2007 - diebilderwumme.blogspot.com/Bratapfel_Dragon
If Life is a Bowl Full of Cherries...
Maybe it's time to whip up some ego batter using the latest jest-in-time technology.
As American humorist Erma Bombeck once said, "If life is a bowl full of cherries, what am I doing in the pits?"
Let's face it, when you're having trouble crossing the i's and dotting the t's, when you're apprehensive about the alligators in the swamp snapping at your posterior, or when you're worried to death about what food is safe to eat that doesn't contain calories, chemicals, or cockroaches -- you need to go lighten up on the ego batter, tame or toss the turkeys in your life, and avoid cooking your own goose if you want to enjoy the short time you're here on planet Earth!
And if that doesn't work, try this: "A little salad, a little sauce, another slice of bread, another sandwich, another verse of 'Yellow Submarine'." (From Mostly Harmless - The fifth book in the increasingly inaccaurately named "Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy" trilogy", by Douglas Adams, p.113).
If you must be perplexed, then find a problem that's truly worthy solving such as why poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese, why it's a mistake to think you can solve any major problem with potatoes, and last but not least, why asparagus inspires gentle thoughts.
And speaking of cherries and pits, not to mention figuring ways to get yourself out of the proverbial "pity pot", perhaps it's time to consider changing the fruit you eat. Take a page from Enrico Caruso, the famed 20th century operatic tenor, try "Watermelon-it's a good fruit. You eat, you drink, you wash your face." What more can you ask for to start or end a 'bad hair' day?
Image Credit: firstname.lastname@example.org
"It is a far, far better thing to have a firm anchor in nonsense than to put out on the troubled sea of thought."
-- John Kenneth Galbraith --
NOSEYPARKERS TAKE NOTE:
Image Credit: Vimrod cartoon created by Ralph Lazar and Lisa Swerling - lastlemon.com/7850
DON'T TAKE YOURSELF SO SERIOUSLY - THE FACTS TO PROVE IT
While you may think that your molehill is a mountain to die on, remember, it's helpful to have a wider perspective on your microscopic mayhem matters. When all is said and done, whatever your personal concerns, rest assured the contemplation of chaos is not a priority for the strange thing sitting behind the desk at the Resettlement Advice Centre on the planet Pintleton Alpha.
-- Found in fine print of a guide to Practical Parenting in a Fractally Demented Universe
Are, or have you ever been a puddinghead?
10 REASONS WHY YOU SHOULD AVOID TAKING YOURSELF TOO SERIOUSLY
1. It requires a lot of work, (and anything that makes you shed copious amounts of blood, sweat, or tears is not good for your heath or happiness).
2. It can give you a pain in the tummy, the head, or the toes (frankly, anything that involves belching, brain bashing, and bunions is definitely not going to make you feel hunky-dory).
3. It demands that you be right every time (and let's face it, odds are that you're bound to blunder, blank out, blow a fuse and be sent to the naughty stool whether you like it or not).
4. It will give you a furrowed brow and freaky frown lines (besides, those expensive botox treatments will empty your wallet, and what you need is laugh lines which are so much more becoming on you).
5. It squishes and squashes your inner imp and imagination, (remember, that klutzy kid who loved to pet rocks or snort and blow milk out his/her nose, it's time to come out and play!)
6. It will never allow you to fulfill your destiny and your place in the sun or the real Universe - whichever comes first; (besides, God loves all those crazy critters and cockammie contraptions, even those loopy little square pegs that don't fit into those little round holes).
7. It will not win you any friends and influence people (unless the only folks who enjoy hanging out with you are hobgoblins, ogres or trolls).
8. It makes you too big to fill your breeches or bathing attire (and anyone who boasts, brags, and babbles on about themselves will be called a "sucky-faced smart-ass" or worse yet, a "Pecksniffian Chuzzlewit"; do really want that on your tombstone?)
9. It will put you in the bad books of Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, the Great Pumpkin (and a fate worse than death, a vexing visit from a burning bush better known as the "Almighty Bob").
10. Your antics will do nothing to assist scientists the world over determine when the "Big Bang" happened, where the missing matter of the Universe went, what sort of stuff is going in dimensions 13 to 22 of the universe or, how to put Humpty Dumpty back together again without the aid of glue, (all of which boggles the brains of the Society for the Prevention of Prevalence, the Polite Federation of Gents-Consequential, and the Mysterious Order of the Undeciperable Scroll).
If you can't recall these ten reasons, then remind yourself, it's not all about you anyway! In a hundred years or more, whatever you're so worked up about won't really matter, except maybe to the Guardians of the Pathetic Pondering Pool.
So, just get over yourself. It helps if you can ignore asking the mirror on the wall a ridiculous question such as "who is the fairest of them all?" Instead, try focusing on the good in some one else for a change. Better yet, why not give your testy tongue and gorgeous gums a rest today!
Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does!
STEP 1: FIND YOUR FUNNYBONE
For those who've been mired in the mud or the quicksand and quagmire of life for many a moon, it's high time you climb out, clean yourself off, and find your fabulous funnybone.
Now that may be easier said than done for some folks, while others will simply take a time out and find the nearest sandbox to exercise their mirth muscles.
But, if you're bewitched, bothered or bewildered, here are a few helpful hints to find your funnybone if you've lost it somewhere or haven't even discovered it.
1. What cartoon character most closely resembles you? (Ask a friend if you don't know, or better yet, come up with your very own crazy character.)
2. What superhero or heroine strikes your fancy, and what magical qualities do they exhibit that you would most dearly love to possess? (Perhaps you can conjure up your unique superhero/heroine, give it a nutty name, and even use your crayons to draw a picture of this pesky personality.)
3. What's the name of your favorite nursery rhyme? (Now, can you remember all the words let alone sing or hum it?)
4. What's the craziest thing you've ever done in your life, or the funniest thing that's ever happened to you? (Enter a bathtub race, wait at the train station for your boat to come in, or sit on a cactus?)
5. What food do you think you'll find in the "Restaurant at the End of the Universe"? (Hint: How about a Big Bang Burger?)
6. Okay Peter Pan-Fried Pizza or Princess Pink Wink, name three things your parents or teachers forget to tell you when you were growing up. (Yup, it's parental or pedagogical payback time!)
7. Name three things that should come with a manual, (besides your spouse or significant other).
8. What three things would you not be caught dead doing at the circus? (Your workplace may be a zoo, but that place doesn't count.)
9. Name your favorite person, place or thing that jiggles? (Okay, wiggles if you really must!)
10. What three things would you wish for if you found a yottle in a bottle? (What ...you don't know what a "yottle" is? Ask any kid or better yet, pick up a copy of Dr. Seuss!)
"Laugh at yourself, but don't ever aim your doubt at yourself. Be bold. When you embark for strange places, don't leave any of yourself safely on shore. Have the nerve to go into unexplored territory."
-- Alan Alda, American actor --
STEP 2: CREATING THE COMICAL COLLATERAL
So, assuming you've now found your funnybone, we're going to create some comical collateral to bring your crazy character to life.
It's all very well for you to keep your marvellous marbles moving, but now it's time to fill in the blanks by acting and dressing the part.
Having found my funnybone which belongs to my amusing alter ego, (a Monarch of Mirth by the name of "HRH Quipping Queen"), I realized that I needed to give her some jest-in-time juice to jazz her up a bit.
Here are a few tips I found helpful in creating a character that not only you can laugh at, but that also brings joy to others by inviting their inner imps out to play and by welcoming them into the sandbox of life!
1. Go to a thrift store, a joke shop, or dollar store to pick up some previously enjoyed pieces of clothing that fit your character as well as some props to dress the part. (A modest amount of moolah invested in your things will be worth every penny...in my case it was a red outfit plus a gold-plated and jewelled plastic tiara with a matching scepter and a wee whoopee cushion.)
2. Have someone photograph you, or better yet maybe even draw a caricature of you. Then use the image to make your own personal calling card and letterhead, bumper sticker and window decal, or batty banner and funny flag! (Listen up people, there is no limit to what you can do with this creative bit of shameless, silly, self-promotion!)
3. Write your character's own personal bio or resume, create a personal email signature line with your own whacky words of wisdom, and script a very entertaining voice-mail message that's truly in keeping with your character. Have your family or friends write wringing endorsements or letters of reference for your new character. (If nothing else it will amuse them, loosen them up a tad, and get them using their intriguing imaginations.)
4. Have an own online presence by creating a lens to highlight your character on "Squidoo", and while you're at it, set up personal blog using your character as the inspiration. Try using a free blog platform such as "Blogger" or "Wordpress", or consider getting a domain name for your character! Post your personality's favorite photos on "flickr.com" and your videos for all the world to see on "YouTube". And, since every munchkin needs to message everyone about everything that's going in their world, why not get into the groove with your very own Twitter" tweets and twaddle!
5. Apply for jobs using your brand new resume with all those amazing skills, talents, and experience that might come in handy for solving all manner of problems facing the company or organization. (Note: "The proof is in the pudding", as they say. Just keep track of what you're putting into your concoction because someone may want you in their kitchen. If truth be told, I actually had several replies and a request for an interview. So, I can attest to the fact that it really works when you get into your character, but not so far in that you start believing all your half-truths.)
I'M EMINENTLY QUALIFIED FOR THIS JOB:
Image Credit: Vimrod cartoon created by Ralph Lazar and Lisa Swerling - vimrod.com
STEP 3: CREATE A BUZZ BY HOSTING YOUR VERY OWN PARTY!
Well, now that you've found your funny bone, created your very own character and collateral comical materials, it's time to launch your personality in public!
What better way to laugh at yourself than to organize a bit of pomp and circumstance by throwing your own party, and inviting your family, friends and even foes to join in the fun!
I found the appropriate occasion -- "April Fool's Day" to host my very own annual Feast of Fools, the first one was held in 2005. This is one day in the year that everyone can laugh at themselves and let their humor hormones come out and play!
Remember the old adage, "fools rush in where angels fear to tread"...just make sure that you have oodles of devils in disguise to prick a few balloons -- especially all the ones that you're going to blow up for the big event!
LIGHTENING UP IS EASY - IT'S THE POISING THAT'S HARD!
Image Credit: Vimrod cartoon created by Ralph Lazar and Lisa Swerling - vimrod.com
25 REMEDIES FOR THOSE WHO TAKE LIFE WAY TOO SERIOUSLY
1. Don't get mad, get even -- or better yet, try diagonal parking in a parallel universe.
2. Remember, the severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the ability to reach it; (that's why the devil, "Old Scratch" was invented).
3. Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life (maybe it's time to add one more day to the week and make it eight...in which case you can do what you please without any interference from God, Yaweh, or the Higher Power)!
4. The bad news is that there's no lifeguard in the gene pool; (the good news is you still float your way through life with great pair of water wings).
5. If you exceed the speed limit, there's no use in worrying about your cholesterol; (but, you'd better have the Fickle Finger of Fate in your corner or you may be sorry you stepped on that accelerator and ate that 500 calorie chocolate-coated donut plus the 600 calorie caramel-flavored frappuccino with whip cream and sprinkles on top).
6. A clear conscience is usually the first sign of a faulty memory or the first step toward insanity -- take your pick and be ready to justify yourself before the League of the Holy Humbug.)
7. Plan to be spontaneous -- tomorrow, (because today is your bad hair day).
8. Nothing is fool-proof to a talented fool, (or a talented twit like you)!
9. When everything's coming your way, you're either in the wrong lane or going the wrong way (that'll teach why you shouldn't play chicken in the barnyard of life!)
10. The early bird may get the worm but the second mouse always gets the cheese; (all of which means you need to get out of the zoo once in a while).
11. Honk if you love peace and quiet, (because all hell is breaking loose somewhere else in the Milky Way).
12. A day without sunshine is like night, (which is great if can tell enough ghost stories to last at least 12 hours or 22 hours in the Arctic during the winter months!)
13. A conclusion is a place where you got tired of thinking (which probably serves you right for opening Pandora's box!)
14. Borrow money from a pessimist, they don't expect it back; (besides they haven't a clue what to do with a free ride, funny money, or a flying carpet and you do!)
15. If you just got lost in thought, you've probably entered unfamiliar territory, (which is great if you're into the art of depicting nature as seen by a toad, or getting wrapped up in a story written by a bookworm).
16. It's amazing but true, on the other hand, you have different fingers (which is always helping for pointing at someone else as the culprit in any situation with limited wiggle room).
17. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it (like how to deal with dicky-birds, cockroaches, bedbugs and fleas in a civil, modern, and technologically-advanced society).
18. The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes (or, an invitation to join the Noble Knights of the Golden Flea at their monthly Square Meal Table).
19. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines (which dispense things that give you a belly-ach, not to mention cost you an and arm and a leg which you'll get from kicking it to get your money back!)
20. The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up and read the next chapter of the Arabian tale of 'Ali Baba and the Forty Finaglers'.
21. To succeed in politics, it's often necessary to rise about your principles, pinch the cheeks of babies, and learn the art of face-painting.
22. No one is paying attention until you make a mistake, then someone wants your head, (that portion of the human body which is supposed to be responsible for all the other parts...so, whatever you do, if you can't use your head at least make sure you are fleet of foot!)
23. The hardness of the butter is directly proportional to the softness of the bread, (unless you're lactose intolerant and have an allergy to gluten, in which case you should find some other funny food to make your day).
24. Have you ever wondered how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges? (...keeping in mind of course that two thirds of the world is made for man, which has difficulty living under water or attaching to rocks even at the best of times)
25. He who laughs last thinks the slowest (which is why you never want to end up in eternal oblivion like those who are missing a funnybone or those who have never found it).
Image Credit: theRussianemail@example.com
"Seriousness is the only refuge of the shallow." - Oscar Wilde
Image Credit: www.gettyimages.com - image# 56456443
THE SMILE SHOP - Or, Things To Help You Lighten Up
Doggonit why not take a break from all that biting and barking!
Lighten up in 2012 -- It's Leap Year for pity's sake!
Birds of a feather flock together -- and so do weird wunderkins!
There is not one shred of evidence that supports the notion that life is serious!
WEIRD + WACKY = WONDERFUL
Santa realized the secret behind his success
He just attacked everything in life with a mix of extraordinary genius and naïve incompetence, and it was often difficult to tell which was which. - Douglas Adams
THE SPOTLIGHT'S ON KRIS KRINGLE - What do you mean you don't believe in Santa Claus?
A classic Christmas tale is a gift that's definitely worth giving -- if only to remind everyone what the spirit of goodwill is all about!