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How Yoga Can Help In Handling Conflicts In Relationships

Updated on December 26, 2015


Relationships are a tough thing sometimes. These need constant caring, compromise and require a serious level of self-awareness. It also requires that couples learn to reciprocate their feelings of love, joy, intimacy, happiness and pleasure. The principles of yoga stress that a relationship per se is not there to make you happy or satisfied, but is there to make you more conscious of yourself and your partner. Once you enter into a relationship, you will eventually have to heal or purge yourself of all your remaining negativity, self-defeating thoughts and attitudes, behaviors and actuation. Remember that when you truly connect with the person you love, you need to understand that he or she is not simply there in your life just to fill-up something lacking, or simply to fulfill your own fantasies. Relationships must teach couples the art of how to be more loving as human beings.

John Welshons: The Yoga of Relationship

Relationships Are Not The Magic Pill For Solving All Ills

Most of us think that relationships are all sweet and all-comforting. Some blindly believe that once you fall in love, everything simply falls into place like magic. Actualy, the truth is that relationships are not all a bed of roses, and it most often has its share of roadblocks and potential minefields. The principles of yoga conflict resolution stresses that the love that one constantly seeks cannot be found outside, but instead can only be found deep within your inner self. The challenges of maintaining a relationship most often gives impetus to the need for strengthening personal growth and self-awareness. However, what’s sad is that most couples continue to pin each other’s failures on the other person, and tend to forget to account for their own personal failures. If you think that your partner is going to be the one to fully take care of your needs, or that he or she will almost always agree with your concerns, is downright wrong.

Effective Conflict Resolution Requires That You Cultivate An Acceptance Of Your Partner
The tenets of yoga  continually stress that men and women must ensure that their conflicts do not degenerate into mindless verbal spats or occasions for physical abuse. Because men and women continue to to trade barbs and tread in an ancient battlefield of relationships, both sexes need to find ways to let go of their preconcieved notions or biases, as well as do away with attitudes or habits that hurt the other individual. Couples must learn how to cultivate a culture of acceptance, as well as find ways to remove or ease the bad habit of blaming or passing judgement on the other. Couples must also  express their feelings and concerns in an open and non-defensive environment, since this breeds trust and harmonious communication.

Yoga and Relationships

Yoga Emphasizes The Need For Working Calmly To Resolve Conflicts

Yoga has a number of tested methods for effective conflict resolution in relationships. These include the need to accept and understand the depth of the conflict, as well as recognize the need to initiate some positrive changes in the relationship. Couples must learn how to resist being inclined to act out their emotions and feelings in a negative or violent manner, and learn how to find alternatives for conlfict resolution, as well as openly communicate with each other and refrain from pinning the blame on th eother individual instead.   Even when a conflict or situation is too complex to be solved, couples must learn to be determined, and to accept the outcomes with selfelessness and humility. It’s often hard to accept negative outcomes; however, if a person begins to accept reality, he or she will be able to be at peace with himself, and also be open to new possibilities. Yoga’s conflict resolution basics  are taken from the fundamentals of yama and niyama, which are attitudes toward life that are the basics of all yoga practices.

Refrain From pinning Blame, Or Showing Anger & Distrust

Yoga’s tenets of conflict resolution in relationships states that a person must be able to properly respond to verbal or indirect displays of anger, hurt, distrust and envy. He or she should refrain from passing blame or judgement on the other. Couples must be able to work on the assumptions or core reasons behind any frictions in their relationship, because it’s most negative emotions generally correspond to an underlyign assumption. Anger, for instance, may happen as a result of a person believing that his or her rights have been violated, and that the other person is not acknoledging it, or accepting that he or she is the cause for all the pain and friction. It’s quite wrong for couples to expect that their partners know, understand and respect their rights, even if they haven’t actually communicated these with them. Couples must be able to adress deep-seated feelings of anger, helplessness, hopelessness, distrust and fear, and instead of trying to force someone to change or accept his or her beliefs, he or she should instead  pay closer attention to his own failings and negative impulses, as well as learn how to adjust or tone down their reactions, and find ways of keeping the relationship strong and fluid.

Show Compassion, And Learn How To Respond To Feelings Of Distrust

Yoga conflict resolution techniques put extra emphasis on how to address feelings of distrust, envy, anger, hurt, hopelessness and jealousy, which tend to lead to the formation of cracks in a relationship. Instead of trying to force someone to change his or her beliefs in an arrogant manner, the person should instead learn to understand what makes their partners different or unique from them. The udnerlying differences should not be the cause for further friction, but instead must help to further strengthen the relationship.

Emotions usually have two doors: A front door leading in, and another back door out. The problem is that most of us go in and out of the same door, further exacerbating current levels of anger or distrust. Effective conflict resolution requires that we peak with the negative emotions we’re feeling, and go back out of them, so that we will be able to attain inner peace, and learn how to be compassionate to our partners. Resolving conflicts requires that we express our concerns and emotions in a positive manner, so that this will elicit compassion and understanding, instead of adding more negativity and mistrust.

Yoga Books on Amazon


Submit a Comment

  • yoginijoy profile image


    6 years ago from Mid-Atlantic, USA

    Great topic! and so pertinent. I love how you address the need for compassion towards one's partner rather than just focusing on the negative emotion within oneself. Very good advice. Voting up and useful!

  • ahagen profile image


    6 years ago from Topeka Kansas

    I had thought about using meditation in this way, but not yoga! Thanks this is great!

  • Jlava73 profile image

    Jennifer Vasconcelos 

    6 years ago from Cyberspace and My Own World

    Hmm some great idea's.

  • dawnM profile image

    Dawn Michael 

    8 years ago from THOUSAND OAKS

    great advice and well put in your article on the principals of yoga and a relationship!

  • BetsyIckes profile image


    8 years ago from Pennsylvania

    Very good hub! I enjoyed it alot. I never thought of yoga being used in this manner.


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