- Mental Health
Last Night I had a Disturbing Dream
His mistress in my dream
In my dream;
Greg arrived in my house tagging along another woman; they looked very happy, flirtatiously teasing, tickling and and laughing aloud carelessly. Greg looked so handsome and adorable and the woman encircled her arms around his waist as she stared at him adoringly; one of his arms is rested on her shoulder while the other is hugging her waist.He was adoringly smiling down to her too.
I had been sitting by the window for some time; hoping, wishing and daydreaming as I waited for Greg to might appear out of the blue. When I finally saw him my heart started to leap and beat so fast; but that was before I noticed the woman with him. Realizing their fun together and the obvious intimacy in their relationship, my heart instantly sank to the bottomless abyss of despair; so with weakened and quivering knees, I forced myself to gradually stand up and as soon as my angered energy got me, I ran quickly towards my room, in that small corner of that grand and roomy villa, and there I sulk like the universe had stood still.
Another scene and more related scenes in the dream
I should have drowned myself in that great despair when I suddenly noticed that I was not alone in that room. At the other end of the room was a bed and somebody was lying there. It's an old man, very pale yet full of vigor as shown in the way he quickly got up and smiled at me when he noticed that his presence had finally caught my attention.. He had been watching me while I sulk.
As I stared at him contemplatively, I was surprised to realize that he was Adrian; and so I stood abruptly and ran to him as I said, :You were dead long time ago! I buried you!" For this he smiled as he answered, "You are just hallucinating. Look! I am alive and I am here to marry you." This really confused me because Adrian was my husband in real life and he died at age 81 for emphysema, but in this dream, I figured that he just arrived from Australia and was just resting after that journey...I surmised that he must have some jet-lag.
In another scene;
I was talking to Greg in the veranda of that big villa . He was lying on a lounge as I was sitting on a chair beside the lounge.
He was lashing on me angrily about Adrian's presence in the house; he was accusing me of secrecy and conspiracy with Adrian. He accused me of withholding the truth about Adrian's life too. He said that I lied to him when I said that Adrian is dead when in truth he is very much alive and in fact is now here staying in this house.
Greg was holding a calculator and computing for the amount of money that he had given me. He said that I owe him $180,000 and was demanding me to pay him back immediately. When his woman heard this she got insanely mad and lashed vehemently at Greg, screaming crazily, "How dare you giving her all that amount and just coins for me! Do you still have anything left for me?" Then she left as she yelled "No money, no honey for me!"
I was confused as I watched the woman's evil tantrum; I did not notice her presence in the onset of this scene. This time I had a good assessment of her type. She is in her 20's, a Filipina, big brown eyes, pretty and young with long dark and straight black hair; with all these good descriptions of her physique it is obvious that she is a slut that had been just picked from the prostitute den; it's obvious from the way she dressed and behave.I asked Greg she she got her; He said that he went to the prostitute bar and got interested on her because as he said, I was busy with Adrian. With this answer, I knew that Greg was lying because he just knew about Adrian's presence while he arrived and having this slut tugged along with him.
And more confusing scenes in the dream
The scene changed
Adrian was ready to leave; when I asked where he was going he said that he was going back to Sydney, Australia. I saw his luggage in that spacious living room; it's awaiting picking up by the chauffeur. He looked despondent so I asked, "Why did you come in the first place?" He stared long at me as he said, "I came to marry you but I changed my mind the moment I realized that you are in love with someone else. This does not mean though, that I lost hope, who knows one day you will wake up to realize that I am really the only person you can trust in a marriage relationship. When this happens, I am just here for you, call me anytime." I didn't know what to think and feel, everything was just too good to be true, so I asked, "Where have you been all this time, when you were actually alive as contrary to my "hallucination" of your death?" He then continued talking, "I went to see Blanquera...that woman is not really beautiful like what she wants to portray herself to everyone, to all men specifically and especially in the Net..she is fat, a midget with bowed fleshy short legs and her face is covered with huge acne scars. I had a good time talking to her where she advised me not to marry you because she knows all the truth about you and Greg...she told me what she knows but I know you better than what she will ever know about you. Besides, when it comes to you, nothing can change my mind, it would still be only you I marry despite everything else, I can wait forever and death has no power to change my mind for you."
Then he gave me a wedding ring but I refused saying that I am already tied up to Greg especially that I owe him $180,000....then he murmured "I give him him back all his money and even multiply the amount ten times, just let me have my wife back and I will thank him for taking care of my wife while I was away."
They all leave me alone, and lonely
Finally, I only have Me for Myself
I sent Adrian off to the airport. I went back to that big villa, my own home, and found Greg waiting there for me.
I saw his luggage too in that spacious living room. I understand that he too was leaving me. He said that he would go back to Indiana, U.S.A. He looked sad, looked like he was defeated in a fierce battle. With the ache in my heart, I still managed to say, "Don't worry about your money, they will be returned to you very soon, plus 100% interest." I heard his sarcastic laughter even before I could finish speaking. With sarcasm in his facial expression he said, "Money is just money, but women kill me." So I asked where his woman was, as I noticed that he was alone. For this he said that he can have all those types of women anytime he wants and would discard them like disposable plates if he is done with them. Then he asked me in turn..."Where's your Adrian?" I answered, "Adrian is dead." in which he screamed, "You are wearing his ring!"
For this I awaken screaming "Adrian is dead!!!!!!!!!!" This scream echoed in my dark room as I got up to reality in the middle of the dawn's darkest hour.
Thoughts: The reality of the present is influenced by the past that we keep within us. Very often, if we are still "not awake and aware" of our present state of mind and the psychological contents within us we tend to continue following the patterns that our psyche had set for us. This pattern is the accumulation of our experiences, whether in the waking hour or in our innermost being.
The present and the past merge to confuse and sabotage life if we remain "asleep"; then life is really just a dream...Wake up and choose your dream...dream only those things that you deserve and live that dream.