From mindset to losing those pounds
More output less input
Believing you can gets results
If someone told me 1 year ago that i would be running my first half marathon i would have laughed my socks off.
Last weekend i ran the Amsterdam half marathon in 2hrs 12 mins this is my story.
I was 49 and and almost 14 stone a gigantic 4 stone overweight just walking to the fridge for another icecream puffed me out.
I had given up on everything and everything in my life seemed pointless.
I hated running and the boob bounce would give me two black eyes anyway, so what was the point in trying?
I would look in the mirror and didn't see the BMW ( Bloody massive woman ) i would look and see that my face still didn't have wrinkles but i only used a half sized mirror so it didn't matter what the bottom half looked like. Deep down i knew i had a problem but denial makes you so efficient with the excuses and self lies that it is really is hard to admit the problem is getting out of hand.
Eating for comfort was a central factor in my life.
The big crunch came last summer when i was on vacation with my husband and we visited an old church with a high tower. We decided to climb the tower to the top and take photographs of the town .
The guide informed us beforehand that the stairwell was very small and steep and that anyone with claustrophobia should stay at the back of the group incase they needed to get back down. There were no windows and around 350 steps to climb. In addition it was not advisable for asthmatics or people with heart problems.
I always thought of myself as relatively fit so i went to the front of the queue! Still thinking i was sporty and my fat legs were solid muscle i was ready to climb.
Off we went. Half way up the stairwell the air got really musty and heavy. The guide didn't do us any favours by telling us about the resident ghost and then about the asthmatic who had a heart attack. This was too much for me...panic got hold and i began to race up the stairs.
When we got to the top i was in agony, i was coughing and spluttering like an old woman of 90.
The cough persisted for about 4 hours and it was then that i knew i had to do something about both my weight and my health. I was frightened by this experience. I honestly thought i was going to die.
Being a nurse i knew that if i didn't lose weight it wouldn't be too long before i was being treated for one or even more of the following aolments : diabetes type 2 , heart problems, liver disease, chronic leg wounds, high blood pressure or even stroke.
When we got back home i read an article about the brain and weight problems.
This made a whole lot of sense to me. Motivation comes from the mind. I was so depressed though, that i really didn't know where the motivation was going to come from.
I took a good look at my life and realised that i had many problems. I really wasn't a happy person. How could anyone else love me when i really didn't like myself?
How was i to start, i had tried many diets before and none had ever really worked.
Then i thought about what i was saying to myself. I was so negative. Why couldn't i just for once be positive? It was worth a try.
I wanted to lose a stone and feel a little better but to really notice a difference i knew that i would have to lose alot more. To keep the weight off i would really have to change my way of being.
Anybody knows that to lose weight the output of energy has to be more than the input of food.
There is no magical solution that was it.
However, there was one quicker way of getting results and that was to burn energy.
I went out and bought some sweatpants ( baggy of course ) and new training shoes. With my excesss weight i would have to have shoes with extra suspension and support.
The motivation was coming, i was so keen to get started.
I had never run more than 100yds before and even then i missed the bus, so this was something. This was hiIarious i was going out to jog. Me fatty bum bum.
I put my shoes on opened the door and closed it again. What was wrong? It was too light. ( No i wasn't to light , the sun was still shining. What if someone seen me? There i was being attacked by my own mind, my own brain was telling me how stupid i looked. this time i listened to it, what an idiot.
I went back indoors and watched tv for a couple of hours until it was dark.
Then i went out again.
This time i grabbed a cap with a big visor. I was petrified of anyone seeing me. I was so scared of making a fool of myself. It never even crossed my mind that people on a daily basis were talking behind my back. I get to hear this now, of course. My weight gain was always a great topic of conversation. Especially amongst family members. So why was i scared of being seen. Lucky for me that day i took the challenge and Off i wobbled.
I wasn't sure how far i was going to run but i had a goal of around 3km.
That was the hardest bit of exercise i had ever done in my life. Those 3km could have been a marathon, at least it seemed like that to me.
I was aching from head to foot when i got back. The cough was back and it was like i had been beaten up. That wasn't all i had walked most of the way. It was awful. I hated it and swore blind this wasn't for me.
My face was so red that it took hours to get back to normal. The cough was back and i really did think that i was going to throw up. I could see the amusement on the faces of my family but they didn't dare laugh. They were really supportive in their own way.
Worst of all my dinner was so small and tasteless that my mind pressured and tortured me for the rest of the evening. I knew then i was addicted to food. This was a fight that wasn't going to be easy to win.
It was no use going for a walk i had already done that. I read somewhere that if you use your hands in some way your brain will be activated in such a way that the limbic system is reduced.
I went off and found some garn and knitting needles. This really worked. I stopped thinking about food and got on with a new slimline jumper. I drank lots of water and this served me well until supper time.
I didn't run again for another whole week until my new trainers and my husband gave me a bad conscience, i had spent all my goodies money on them and they were just decorating the hall floor. my husband offered to run with me, that surprised me as he was a good runner and i thought that he would be ashamed to run along side me! That warmed my heart and it really helped my determination not to give up. Was he really taking notice? Hmmmm. Nice!
Ok i would try again. This time i reduced the distance by 1 km. In the dark i ran for 2km and this time i walked less. That feeling stayed with me for ages. I still came home red faced and puffed but i was excited to tell my family of my success.
The feeling of success was so important, this was the motivation i needed.
My diet wasn't one of the usual powder diets or programs from the net. Instead i had decided that i would cut out all processed sugars and sweets and my favourite chips were an an absolute no no.
After one week i had gone down two kilos. This added to my motivation and i sat up a training program for the following week.
I would run 3 times a week and increase the distance to 3km on the third run. Before that i would try to accomplish a pace that would allow me to keep going and reduce my coughing fits.
The following week i increased the runs to 3km and already after 3 weeks i was able to do the distance without stopping.
Zola Budd eat your heart out. Fat boy running i'm chasing your tail.
I stuck with the program and my diet for the following 5 months. Two and a half stone lighter was doing wonders for my self confidence. That is me in the pink running my first ever 5km race.
That was a proud day i finished that in 29 minutes.
My next race and challenge would be a 10km. Life was getting better.