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The Poison Within: Living With Misophonia

Updated on May 21, 2011

The Poison Within: Living With Misophonia

I am beset by a tetrad of psychological and neurological issues: high-functioning Asperger's Syndrome, Adult ADHD, chronic depression, and Misophonia. You've probably heard of the first three, but not everyone knows about the fourth. In fact, even many psychologists I have visited do not know what it is. Why? Because it's relatively uncommon--and many of us who have it don't talk about it often. It is, however, a serious issue. I do not hesitate to say that of all my problems, Misophonia is by far the worst. I would gladly keep all the others if only I could get rid of this one.

So what is Misophonia?

Literally, it means "hatred of sound". But not just any sound--a person with Misophonia has adverse reactions to certain sounds, which vary between individuals, hence another name for the condition: Selective Sound Sensitivity Sydrome (4S). Some of the most common "trigger sounds" among Misophonia sufferers are coughing, sniffing, sneezing, snoring, breathing, swallowing, lip-smacking, and various other small sounds of the mouth and nose. These are usually nonverbal, although some verbal sounds can also be triggers (for their actual sound, not for their verbal meanings--consider that physiologically, the letter "p" is really just lip-smacking).

At this point, one might point out that nearly everyone is bothered by these sounds to some extent. Perhaps you had to ride the bus to work this morning, and got stuck seated next to someone with heavy allergies, and the constant coughing and sniffling annoyed you. What's different about Misophonia?

Well, when you have Misophonia, these sounds cause more than annoyance or irritability. The closest word I can put to it is revulsion. I can no more ignore my trigger sounds than I could ignore excrement smeared across the walls. It is that appallingly disgusting. On particularly bad days, I even fantasize about hurting the offenders in the goriest, most excruciating ways that I can think of. I never seriously intend to carry out these fantasies, but the desire is there, the desire to make people suffer as much as they have made me suffer. The worst part is that I know, in the logical part of my mind, that my reactions are completely irrational--but that doesn't make my trigger sounds any less repulsive when I actually hear them.

How do I deal with Misophonia?

Most of the time, I don't. I don't even know where to begin dealing with it. It is virtually inescapable, as every human being on the face of the earth makes these sounds on a regular basis, without even thinking about it. You probably don't even notice how many times you cough or sigh or smack your lips over the course of a day--but those of us with Misophonia notice every single sound, and revile all of them.

About the only thing I can do is avoid my trigger sounds, or drown them out. I do not go into public places any more than I need to, and when I do go out in public I always wear ear plugs. I even wear ear plugs at home if there are any other people around. When I am at my computer, I frequently listen to music or white noise to block out other sounds. I never invite anyone over. I never go to social events.

I dread my coworkers. I dread my classmates. I dread my family. In short, Misophonia rules my life, and there's not much I can do about it.

Why haven't I heard about this before?

A lot of people with Misophonia just don't talk about it. We all have our reasons for this, and while I cannot speak for every Misophonia sufferer, I can give some of the reasons I don't talk about it much.

1. A lot of people don't believe me when I tell them I have a problem. I guess they think I'm overreacting to a simple annoyance, because they usually tell me to "shut up and deal with it". It can take a lot of persuasion to make people believe that this is something beyond ordinary annoyance, something that cannot simply be ignored. Some people even become angry when I try to make them see the problem, and some make noises on purpose just to mock me.

2. The rarity of Misophonia and the lack of awareness led me to believe that I was the only person with this problem. For years after developing the condition, I never encountered any other Misophonia sufferers. My family sent me to psychologists, but the psychologists didn't know what to make of it, and always ended up brushing it aside in favor of other problems, such as my depression. It wasn't until a few months ago, when I mentioned my problem on an anonymous website, that another Misophonia sufferer came forward and told me what the condition was called.

In any case, I'm telling you about it now, because there needs to be more awareness. Maybe you have Misophonia, and like me, thought you were alone. Maybe someone you know becomes incredibly angry when you so much as breathe in their direction, and you never knew why until now. Maybe you don't have Misophonia and don't know anyone who has it either--but someday you might meet one of us. You might even become one of us.

What can I do to help?

The biggest thing you can do for Misophonia sufferers is to educate yourself about the condition and try to understand it--especially if you live with someone who has it, which can be almost as difficult as having Misophonia yourself. It can be frustrating at times, but bear in mind that we don't mean to be so difficult. If we get angry with you over the noises you make, it's not because we're angry at you; it's the sound that drives us up the wall, and we know that a lot of a time you just can't help it making noises any more than we can help our reactions.

Do:

--allow the person with Misophonia to leave the room when they are bothered by sounds. Trying to keep them in a room where they are exposed to trigger sounds will only brew pain and anger, which may be taken out on you.

--blow your nose when it is running. This may temporarily reduce or eliminate sniffing.

--try to stop your hiccups. This can be difficult, and you may not always succeed, but try to find a method that works for you, such as holding your breath for ten seconds.

--understand that our reactions are hard-wired and cannot be ignored.

Don't:

--tell us to ignore noises. We can't. This is like someone jabbing you with a hot poker and telling you to ignore the pain.

--force a person with Misophonia to eat at the dinner table with family. The chewing, swallowing, and tapping of silverware against plates can be excruciating. Many people with Misophonia prefer to take their meals to a private room and eat there.

--punish someone (especially a child) with Misophonia for having adverse reactions to noises. This will only hurt and anger the sufferer. It is generally more effective to let the individual escape to a private room to calm down.

Ear Plugs

Ear plugs have been a part of my life for years now, and they are one of the few things that make social situations bearable. I've tried several kinds, but Mack's silicone ear plugs are my favorite so far.

Some people like foam ear plugs, but I find that the foam exerts too much pressure on my ear, which causes severe pain after extended use. Since I wear ear plugs so often (up to 24 hours a day) I prefer silicone plugs, which do not expand in the ear like foam does. Ultimately, though, you should find what works for you.

Do you have Misophonia, or know someone who has it? Feel free to share your experiences, questions, and suggestions.

Speak Up

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      anonymous 4 years ago

      Thank's for writing this. Unfortunately in my culture (I'm Asian), dining together is an important aspect in the family. My parents insist that I dine with them and they're both noisy eaters. They won't listen to excuses and they think I'm just acting up whenever I cringe or cover my ears. It's very difficult for me to bond with them.

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      anonymous 4 years ago

      I also have misophonia. Not nearly this bad. I'm just irritable because of it. If someone chews with their mouth open it takes every fiber of my being not to start flipping out. Nail-clipping, snoring, the ticking of a watch or clock, someone tapping their foot. There are so many triggers and I used to just think that I was a miserable person. I've only recently known that all of it is because of this one thing. Just knowing, for me, is half of the battle.

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      anonymous 4 years ago

      Does anyone know where I can buy noise isolating earplugs? I want to block certain noises but still be able to carry on conversations. Thanks in advance!

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      anonymous 4 years ago

      @anonymous: Lorna i cried when i read what u wrote because its the exact situation im dealing with. I love my mom so much but i cnt deal with this issue. Smtimes i start xrying because i can't take it anymore and the worst part is that u dnt knw the resson

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      anonymous 4 years ago

      Omg u guys made me cry right now because im dealing with the same issue. Im only 16 years old ive been dealing with this ever since i was 14. I thought it was catatonic schizophrenia. I went to my school psychologist but she was dumb as hell and didn't know shit. Do u guys know if theres a way to solve this misophonia as in actual therapy or smthn thanks arvellas and others. Sarah

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      anonymous 4 years ago

      I have had Misophonia for as long as i can remember, my two younger sisters have it two. i nearly cried when i heard that this is real, im always angry, i dread dinner time, i dread going to work. it takes over my life. my boyfriend of three years just gets angry when i get angry and yell, no one seems to believe me or understand and even i don't uderstand. im so glad to know that other people have this problem and that im not alone because i can't stand another person telling me to "shut up and get over it"

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      anonymous 4 years ago

      I've had Misophonia since I was 10, and I'm almost 18 now. Ugh. It's horrible.

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      anonymous 4 years ago

      Just a few days ago I learned of this term & I think it describes me. Dog barking, sirens, crying babies and cars with no mufflers have long been aggravations for me, and recently another one has appeared--coughing. Yes, coughing.

      The really bad part is, I have a child age 6 & she's developed a cough that I swear just will not go away. I mean she coughs & coughs & coughs all day. Almost every other breathe is a cough. She's seen doctors, apparently nothing's wrong with her that time won't heal, but this has been going on for weeks, with no end in sight. I've had to plug my ears or even confine her to her bedroom for periods to shield me from the noise. It shouldn't be that way--she's a sweet girl, my daughter for crying out loud, but when she has one of her coughing episodes, my whole body just screams "STOP IT!!!!!" It's to the point I've actually told my wife that she may have to stay with family awhile, perhaps even several days if necessary, until the coughing spasms stop. I just can't take it, & I know she's not doing anything wrong, she can't stop it anymore than I can stop being a man, but I also can't stop being bothered by the noise as much as I am. Obviously I've never become physical towards her over it, but I have yelled "GO TO YOUR ROOM!!! NOW!!!" a few times. How can I possibly be a father, and a decent one, like this?

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      anonymous 4 years ago

      i don't know if i have misophonia i don't understand because its weird with me i have all the symptoms but only with my mom. my mom is the only person that makes me feel angry when she makes sounds. i have a strong urge to kick something over or smash something when i hear her cough especially or sneeze and sniff ,eat and drink. but i also hate watching. i say mean things to her and mutter things under my breath to relieve my anger. she gets really mad at me but she doesn't understand how painful it is mentally and that i cannot just 'take it' i wish she wasn't living in the house with us sometimes i know its horrible but i would feel so peaceful knowing that i don't have to prepare myself for sounds or turn up my music loud

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      anonymous 4 years ago

      I've had this since I was 7 or 8, as far as I can remember. When I was a kid, we would take long car trips, and whenever one of my siblings would get the hiccups or sniffles, I would go INSANE. I remember one car trip where one sibling had a cold and then got the hiccups on top of it - I thought I was going to die. I was 10 or 11 at the time, and I just buried my head in the corner where the car door met the seat and tried to cover my ears. I cried as quietly as I could and just remember the INTENSE anxiety and panic I felt.

      Years later, it turns out my mom and one of my siblings have misophonia too, and they had to try just as hard to hide it from the rest of the family. Ironic, because my mom's eating noises were extremely distressing to me when I was an adolescent. Now, I'm OK around her eating as long as there is other noise in the room (TV, radio, noisy restaurant).

      When I first found out that I was NOT the only person like this, I was so relieved I sat at my desk (at work!) and cried for 20 minutes. It was a huge relief, of course tempered by the fact that there isn't a cure. At least now I know that there is someone on my side, and I'm not just a horribly intolerant, crabby, and hateful person.

      Thank GOD none of my kids have it. I have 3 kids - 19yo son, 17yo son, and 14yo daughter, and they all tell me they are not bothered. My daughter sometimes tries to trigger me because she thinks it's funny. It's not. :(

      She's starting to get it, though, and hasn't done it in a while.

      I usually eat in my bedroom, away from the family, unless we are watching a movie or TV show during dinner. I can almost NEVER eat with them at the table. If I do, I eat as fast as possible, and am acutely aware of every bite each person takes. It's torture.

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      anonymous 4 years ago

      I think I have this because when someone eats noisy around me I get very badly fruastated and want to cry or hit the person and I start thinking they are eating noisy on perpose and that makes me more angry lol it makes me moody I can't watch a film with someone whilst they are eating unless I'm eating at the same time, I walk out the room to avoid it a lot too, also what annoys me is sniffing, swallowing, coughing, chewing and people talking with there mouths full, I can be in a great mood but until someone makes these noises I'm very annoyed, its undescribable, my mom use to be the same so I may have picked it up from her !

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      anonymous 5 years ago

      I usually ...no all of the time .... become seriously agitated whenever in a social situation find myself having to listen ,then endure the sound of various people feeling the need to do what they feel may only be natural to them. What I mean is having in the main listen to them A, coughing B, sniffing and C, (very bad) doing what I know is swallowing back small or sometimes larger amounts of catarrh. This usually I experience on trains or buses which more often than not I have to use travelling back and forth from work. I did not know if was even a name or even if anyone else did suffer this dilemma until I decided finally to try search on Internet if so there was the slimmest chance anyone apart from me was ever in this same position!. Least I know now there are many moe ..so it seems!..

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      anonymous 5 years ago

      I have had this for four years now and people think I'm rude because I tell them that the noises bother me. I have actually gone into a complete rage before over the sounds of someone gulping. People just don't understand it and always tell me that I need to ignore it and that nobody else does this and I'm just nuts. I can now show them this and prove it's real! Thank you!!!!!!

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      anonymous 5 years ago

      Oh my god, right now I am literally lying in bed trying to sleep but my sister is in the room next to mine and she is constantly sniffing. I was seriously getting so aggravated to the point of anxiety and purposely hurting myself to relieve the stress. I couldn't deal with it. I decided to google my problem because I have seriously had enough of feeling like this and I found this thread and oh wow I literally started crying I am so relieved that there is people put there with the same problem as me. I'm only 15 and I've been dealing with this since I was about 8, whenever someone would make noises with their mouth or nose I would just go into fits of rage or get seriously angry with the person and my mum would just get so angry at me and tell me to shut up an deal with it, she just didn't understand and she still doesn't. Now I just hold it in and it's just so horrible. And reading the other comments from people saying they've been dealing with this for up to 50 years! I can't even imagine! I am so relieved right now I can't even. I am so sorry for all the other people that deal with this, it's not something that other people find easy to understand at all.

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      anonymous 5 years ago

      I don't even know where to begin... I have had this condition since I can remember. I am 31 now and, needless to say, this condition completely and utterly rules my life and everything I do. I even lost a job recently in part to misophonia. For most of my life I assumed that something was wrong with me. My Dad took me to hearing specialists as a child for everything from hyperacusis to torn eardrums. They insisted there was nothing wrong with me. So I began to assume that there was something else wrong with me. Not a psychological disorder, but a behavioral one. Honestly, I thought that I was just a total bitch and a psychopath for some of the terrible things I would think after being set off by trigger sounds. Reading this article has given me comfort - misery loves company! :) Seriously though, it's nice to put a name to this curse... thanks for sharing your experiences.

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      anonymous 5 years ago

      @anonymous: i have misophonia. i'm only 17, and i've had it for a long while now. it's not that my mom doesn't care, it's that she doesn't understand... and i don't blame her for that. but i've always wished she could try harder, handle situations better... for example- i was building a book shelf in the living room floor, the only space big enough in our house for me to do that. my mom decided she wanted some crackers. (KILL ME NOW). she insisted upon eating them on the couch, two feet away from me. i asked her to leave the room, she refused saying "it's my house, i pay the bills, i bought the couch, i'll sit wherever the f i want to". real nice huh? although i understood her logic, it took everything in me not to break down in tears and scream in frustration with every crunch of those stupid crackers. finally i snapped. i couldn't stop myself, it happened regardless of my brain telling me how absurd my reaction was. instantly, i knew i was wrong, and was overwhelmed with guilt. she puished me anyway, with some nasty words and slap to the side. so, if you have a child with misophonia, here's my advice: listen to your kid. if he/she asks you to leave a room, to breathe quieter, to stop rolling your anckle, to blow your nose... no matter how ridiculous the task may seem, do you're best to help soothe their pain. misophonia hurts, physically and mentally, and is sadly inescapable. so please, don't torture your child, they're tortured enough on their own.

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      Jenfest 5 years ago

      @anonymous: Hi Julie,

      Just wondering if you begain the biofeedback for your daughter. I have Misophonia and my son age 5 has it as well. We're considering biofeedback for him, but it will be a big commitment - 3 hours of driving/day. Was wondering if your daughter has begun this treatment and if you have seen any improvement. Any help/info. you can provide is appreciated. I just hate seeing him suffer in school - knowing exactly the pain he feels.

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      anonymous 5 years ago

      "--blow your nose when it is running. This may temporarily reduce or eliminate sniffing."

      This is very bad advice (unless done in a bathroom).

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      anonymous 5 years ago

      if anyone has any information about how the family can deal with the behaviors of the child in a positive way please let me know thank you

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      anonymous 5 years ago

      Glad to see this getting some publicity. It's the most difficult thing to explain and describe to those who don't suffer from it. They equate it to the sound of nails on a chaulkboard. I'd say that's like comparing a migraine to a head cache or menstral cramps to labor pain. Currently I'm trying to explain to my husband that his eating and gulping bother me, but that it's not him it's just me and my ears and that I need to either get out of the room or he needs to stay away from me if he's eating or drinking something.

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      anonymous 5 years ago

      Thank you for talking about this. I have this. It ruined my relationships with my parents and now they're both dead. It's ruined friendships. It didn't ruin my marriage, though, because my husband is a greatly compassionate person who wouldn't hurt me for the world. Now if I can just get a therapist to take me seriously.

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      anonymous 5 years ago

      @anonymous: I also suffer from misophonia. Anti-anxiety medication can help, especially if your child is depressed enough to the point of wanting to die. Please ask his pediatrician for help.

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      anonymous 5 years ago

      I have had this issu efor over 50 years ...an my family can surely attest to it ..eating is the trigger for me an only the sound of cruncy things ...I do believe I have learned to shut the noise out over the years to some extent ....by removing myself from the individual chewing ...chewing louder myself ...or just making a louder noise to disguise it ...not an easy feat believe me .I would get do angry as a child I would go off in an absolute rage ...I even attacked my siblings on occasion .I was luckier then most as I had a friend whose brother suffered from the same condition ....so she as well as he totally understood.....just knowing that I wasent crazy was such a comfort for both he an I ....it also helped out parents to understand that the prob had substance an it was real .I have no cure for this thing ...an it has driven me nuts most of my life ...I guess I just learned to live with it as best I can ...and I also never told other people about it ...as this gave them the opportunity to do it for spite ...or anger or for whatever reason they may have seen fit ..

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      anonymous 5 years ago

      My 9 yr old little boy suffers from this, and his trigger is his dad's eating, or any of his mouth sounds, even opening his mouth to talk. My husband uses plastic spoons and forks and tries to be quiet. My son is stressed all the time, when he hears someone in the kitchen, he needs to know if his dad is eating. We had no idea what this was. My son cries and tells me he just wants to die. I wish there was more out there than just a whole lot of people suffering with this, but at least we know he isn't alone, and that we haven't somehow messed him up by raising him wrong. Also my husband is relieved that it isn't just that our son hates him, even though he says it all the time. I hope a treatment comes about soon so that his condition doesn't branch out to other triggers as he gets older.

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      anonymous 5 years ago

      I freak out when my family members or anyone next to me eats popcorn. I literally spaz out in my head but try to appear calm and controlled, and I cannot focus on the movie.

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      anonymous 5 years ago

      I think I have a milder version of Misophonia. It bugs me when someone starts sniffling, but not to the point where I have to lash out at someone. The worst part is that I live with someone who sniffs every five seconds, literally, and doesn't care if it bothers me. In fact, he sniffs intentionally just to get to me. I get yelled out if I ask him to blow his nose, and the walls are so thin that it's a miracle if I can't hear the sound of sniffing for more than five minutes.

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      anonymous 5 years ago

      @anonymous: This is quite insensitive. Diseases and disorders have different levels of severity. For example, Bipolar disorder has 4 different subtypes, with the severity of impact on the person's life different in each subtype. The effects of mental retardation also vary depending on the person's IQ. I feel for you because you seem to have a severe case of Misophonia. I only have a minor affliction and it is extremely annoying and even changes how I interact with some people, so I understand it must be terrible to have an extreme case of Misophonia. But don't dismiss what other's are saying because it isn't as bad for them.

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      anonymous 5 years ago

      I think I've had Misophonia for about 2-3 years now(currently 24), at least that is when the symptoms started kicking in. Loud chewers are the worst, but any repetitive action can get mildly annoying. It is not nearly as bad for me though; I don't have to avoid social situations and as long as there is another sound for me to focus on I don't have to leave the room when a sound is bothering me(although I still prefer to). I've read that Misophonia is often worse when you care about the person or how stressed out you are. I think there is something to this; I notice the sound when I chew, crack knuckles, slurp, and sniffle but the sounds don't bother me when I make them although when someone else makes them it can drive me crazy. Even though I am also an offender(everyone is, these are daily sounds everyone makes) I only care when others make the sounds. That makes me think it may be some type of disorder. There may be something wired wrong in the brain too; some nights I find it nearly impossible to sleep without music, tv, or covering my ears with pillows because there is an incessant ringing sound that I cannot escape except by drowning it out.(Tinnitus, I think) I cannot determine why some nights it is so annoying and some nights it simply doesn't exist. Both have something to do with sound making me crazy so maybe it is simply how I perceive sound.

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      anonymous 5 years ago

      For me it is smacking sounds,any kind of eating sounds. I am 18 now and this has happened my ENTIRE life. The sound of someone smacking literally enrages me. Tapping of silverware and crunching also bothers me. People do not understand, they think that I can just ignore it, and they even deny they do it because they don't notice, but the slightest of the sound will cause the trigger and I will literally get angry with them. I NEVER eat around other people, always by myself. There is not really anything other then eating sounds that bothers me like this, once when I was mocked it even led to physical violence. The sound of someone smacking is the most vile and repulsive thing I know.

      I can't help it. A few people below don't understand either, like "kitten", what sound bothers you? You don't have this problem, and you don't want it either, it's a horrible curse. When you have this you can NOT just sit there and take it, you either have to make the sound stop, or get away from it. There is no 'handling' it or ignoring it.

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      anonymous 5 years ago

      lately i am having a hard time dealing with this.. i have talked to my mom about getting me something to block the noise but she seems to just blow off the subject. i have dealt with this since i was 8 and im almost 15 and my whole life i never could do anything to get away from the noises and movments so i had to sit there and deal with everything so i think it might have made it easier to deal with but its still very hard. misophonia causes me to feel depressed because i can't do anything to stop it since everyone around me dosnt understand it and it would be rude to tell them to stop doing what it is that they are doing because its not there problem its mine.does anybody know a person who can help me with my misophonia??

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      anonymous 5 years ago

      @anonymous: That's my exact situation!! She think I'm just being abnoxious, or it's "just a phase"

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      anonymous 5 years ago

      --force a person with Misophonia to eat at the dinner table with family. The chewing, swallowing, and tapping of silverware against plates can be excruciating. Many people with Misophonia prefer to take their meals to a private room and eat there.

      THIS

      Now I know I'm not the only one to deal with it. :(

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      anonymous 5 years ago

      Omg! I have actually told my husband that his BREATHING was getting on my nerves! He says I can hear a flea fart at 500 feet! Sometimes I think I can, and it drives me crazy! I have a white noise machine and wear earplugs at home a lot too. Of course my husband is hard of hearing..... so this makes it difficult to find a happy medium.

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      anonymous 5 years ago

      i get you exactly.... that's the same thing that i go through.

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      anonymous 5 years ago

      I just wish I could ignore my trigger sounds. I'm only a teenager and I hate getting angry over the smallest noises. I was just forced to eat dinner with my family and I couldn't take my eyes off my food for fear of seeing my family members eat. I told my mom I have misophonia but she won't take me seriously. Yet she wonders why I get so angry and upset all the time.

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      anonymous 5 years ago

      Misophonia is hurting my relationship and every day life is a burden. Trying to find a specialist in my area soon....seen psychiatrists who just misdiagnose it as anxiety. I have resorted to so many of the wrong options to suppress the frustration and anger. It's time that doctors and psychiatrists learn about this.

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      anonymous 5 years ago

      honestly i have never really tried to use head phones or music. ussualy i just try to sit through and bare it...... but that never works so i will try head phones.

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      anonymous 5 years ago

      School was torture for me as well, but if you can make it through high school it will get better after you graduate. At least this was the case for me. In K-12, you have to attend classes or face consequences. After that, you have more control over what you do and who you are around on a daily basis. There is some controversy over whether or not it is actaully a good thing for people with Misophonia to wear headphones, but the way I see it, we don't really have a choice. Invest in good headphones, and wear them when you can. It will help your sanity to not be triggered quite as often if you have background music playing all the time. I know where you are coming from as far as school goes. It sucks. Bad. But just know that as you get older you will become better at coping with it. I play mind games with myself now. When someone is doing something that I don't like, I tell myself things like "they can't help it" and "if they knew how you felt, they would stop." It also helps me to remind myself that it isn't anyone's fault. It isn't their fault that they are literally driving you insane, and it isn't your fault that whatever they are doing is bothering you. If you feel comfortable telling your family and friends, do it. They will either accept you for it and try to be understanding, or they won't. The way that I look at it is this; when someone continuously does something that bothers me, eventually i'm going to start avoiding them anyway. I might as well tell them and hope that they are understanding about it. I know that this is a little more complicated with people that you live with, but like I said, if you don't try, you're going to end up avoiding them. One last thing, there are many support groups popping up all over the internet and on facebook. Join them. It helps to have somewhere to vent and to know that you ARE NOT alone and many other people have this too. Misophonia is actually proving to be not near as uncommon as everyone thought. I hope this helps.

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      anonymous 5 years ago

      i feel like i don't belong. like i am different. i just wish that people could understand how difficult this is. It is so hard to live with. I can't spend time with my family hardly because every little thing sets me off. if im out at the store and my mom pops a piece of gum my whole body goes warm and i get all edgy. sometimes i wanna say something but i don't because i know that it will just cause trouble but i end up feeling like im about to explode and when my mom notices she just gets upset. or in school when im in class i will see a certain movment like sombody shaking there leg or tapping there pencil, and i wanna go insane...the bad thing is that i can't do anything about it. i just have to sit there and bare the pain. i usually tune out everything except that noise or movement and that is all i can focus on and i feel so angry and upset. i will burst out into tears. im pretty sure my family thinks im crazy. my mom tells my to get over it because im the one with the problem. i understand that completely and i wish she could know how i felt.. the thing is that know matter what i do i REALLY cannot help the way i react to everything. if i could i would, really..... it feels like a curse. can't do anything to change it... honestly it makes me hate myself. i know its not my fault that i am the way i am but that dosnt change anything because i still can't do anything to change this. i try to keep my distance from noises and movments. i don't go to lunch because im scared of the way that i might react, i have to sit in the back of my classes everyday so i am as far away from people and there noises, and i can't be in crowds. i don't like to be to social because the more social i get, the more possibility that i will make a fool of my self for what seems like no apparent reason. it feels like im trapped. and sadly i can't be set free.

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      anonymous 5 years ago

      i never even heard of misophonia until today when my mom told me about it. all i know is that it makes my life misserable, along with my ADD, Bipolar, & Depression. I have had problems with sounds and movments ect since i was about 8 or 9. I'm 14 now and im beginning to realize that this problem is causeing me to lose everyone in my life that i love and care about. I hate the fact that i have this problem and i feel like im a freak. I cause my mom to get upset at me because of my reactions to her chewing, but i just wish that she could understand how much pain it brings me. it hurts me so much that i burst out in tears just about everyday. and im so scared to tell people because im scared that they wont like me anymore, but if i don't say anything... nothing will ever change i guess. i dont know what i can do. lately ive been getting so angry with people. im saying things i never wouldve said before, i storm out of rooms almost going into tears. i feel like i want to bash somebodys head in. this problem is so hard to deal with. and from what ive looked up it seems like there is no cure for this. can anyone give me any suggesstions of what i can do?

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      anonymous 5 years ago

      @mommafox: That is a good idea. We may just do that!

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      anonymous 5 years ago

      Hi hb ju wanted to tell u i am the mom whose daughter suffers migraines along with severe misophonia. I wanted to tell u we found an amazing doc at rileys childrens in indy who put my daughter on a blood pressure med to help prevent the migraines. This has cut down the number of headaches by a ton and has shortened the duration. I do have to wonder if there is a connection.

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      anonymous 5 years ago

      Hmmm...Never posted on a blog, so this is new for me. All of this talk makes me think of my son age 8, almost 9. He definitely has some form of misophonia, I am convinced. But he also shows signs of other sensory disorders? I'd say sound, smell, and touch are the main ones. He rarely can sit at the table with the family(of 5) to eat. Especially, if he finds we are eating something unappealing to him. For example, fruit: Bananas are the worst, but also strawberries-he doesn't like the smell...Apples...smell and crunching sounding...Really, any fruit. He says my younger son, and daughter "snore" when they are just breathing. Road trips are terrible... I have recently gotten him earplugs, so he doesn't have to listen to them breathing. He also doesn't like certain textures. He has always been very picky about the clothes he wears. If it has a tag, he has cut out every single tag out of the back of the shirt. He prefers to touch smooth things...Smooth rocks, he likes metal, shiny things too. He is also very hyper at times. He has not been officially diagnosed with ADHD, but through my descriptions of his behavior and the psychologist observing him, he is definitely within the scope and I'm sure if and when I follow up with the doctors, they will diagnose him with ADHD. Another thing someone had written, he has suffered from "migraines" since he was about 5. He would have probably 36-48 hours during beautiful days or on vacation, where he would be just in bed because he had a migraine...I've thought it was allergies, a tumor, he has seen a neurologist, and the diagnosis was"just a child with migraines-he will probably grow out of it." What if he doesn't though? And what if he lives with this hatred of himself for being the way he is for the rest of his life? The worst was when something set him off, and he was super angry. I could see it in his eyes and he had a hammer in his hand. His sister was trying to be brave and stand there, and try to joke with him by slightly pushing him...he pushed her back harder and had this terrible look of "you better get out of here or it will not be safe for you" and I knew it. I got her outside, went back inside and talked him into giving me the hammer. At that point, he said he hated me, hated his whole family and he felt like saying all of the curse words he knew. I encouraged him to say them...and yes, it was pretty much every inappropriate word I can think of...some I had never heard him say before and didn't know he even knew. After that, he burst into tears...said he "hated his ears." "Why did God have to make him this way?" He wished he could be"normal" and not have to hear things others did not...He wanted to "kill himself" so he did not have live like this anymore. That broke my heart. I knew then, something was definitely wrong. Clearly, he is in some pain that I cannot help with hugs, behavior charts, structure, rewards, discipline...That is when I said I needed to see a psychologist. But here we are, and he ate at a separate table again for dinner tonight. I'm thinking the doctors are going to say ADHD. And I'm wondering about the connection too. Clearly, the sounds, smells, uncomfortable textures are causing him to "move" or act in order to distract him from the negative brain messages. The only thing that I have discovered for him to sit and do is read. When he is reading, he tunes the whole world out. And he is pretty advanced in his reading for a 2nd grader...More like a 5th or 6th grader...A blessing and I am lucky to have a reader I know, But still when he is reading, he is not engaged with our family discussions and conversations like I wish he would be...and it again makes me question his future and his ability to cope with the rest of a community or society...at work and in relationships. I do hope there are more studies about Misophonia, but also to the connection of other sensory disorders and ADHD.

    • mommafox profile image

      mommafox 5 years ago

      @anonymous: What about getting her a digital reading pad like Kindle?

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      mommafox 5 years ago

      @anonymous: There is no cure, unfortunately. I don't think they know much about this disorder yet. I find that my sensitivities are easier to tolerate when I'm on anti-depressants and worse when I'm off of them.

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      mommafox 5 years ago

      I began getting hearing sensitivities as a child. I remember how awful eating around the table was! I would ask my family to please eat with their mouths closed, but this would upset my father who would eat louder. I wasn't allowed to leave the table or be upset. I've learned to tolerate sounds for short periods, but I have to leave or put on headphones when I'm overwhelmed. My husband snores and we have to sleep in different rooms. When we sleep together, I may have to leave which hurts his feelings, but I can't help how I am. Since I became an adult, I only eat at a table when we go out to eat. The noise of the place usually covers up all the annoying sounds. For the most part, I have learned to cope the best I can without effecting people too much. I still do hurt people's feelings, which I hate. I just can't change things.

      I watched 20/20 and felt relief that it's not just me overreacting to annoyances. I'm also glad that I have a mild version compared to some. I do think there are a lot more people out there that have this. Mine are also accompanied by touch sensitivities. They mimic one another in several ways. I can't stand the sound of rough towels or paper towels, nor can I stand to touch them. Both send painful waves through my jaw. Repeated noises bother me, when kids especially say the same thing over and over or repeat a tune. Repeated touch also bothers me, if that makes sense.

      I have an autistic son who has a lot of sensory issues. One positive thing from Misophonia is that I've been able to relate to my son's sensitivities. It doesn't mean that I have more patience for it though. If anything, it makes it that much more challenging. I have learned to recognize the signals early and leave the situation or ask for the behavior to stop before the triggers make me angry.

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      anonymous 5 years ago

      I also wanted to mention i watched the report on 20/20 tonight about misophonia. It made me feel good to know others suffer the same agony. I wished they would have talked more about causes and cures. We are beginning biofeedback to see if that helps my 9 year old daughter.

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      anonymous 5 years ago

      @anonymous: Many of us would love to share our stories or answer any questions that you have to the best of our ability. We know that our reactions are irrational, but we cannot refrain from having a "fight or flight" reaction any more than you can help creating whatever tiny noise is setting us off.

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      anonymous 5 years ago

      My daughter is 9. It started for her about a year ago at the age of 8. It seems everyone starts around 8. Makes me think we need to find out what part of the brain changes, develops or matures

      Around 8. Something must happen in the brain at that point. She picks on her older brother who is 10. He can't eat or even breathe in the house. It is real but still so hard to understand. It is so depessing to live like this. Now she can't hardly read which is her fav thing to do cause the sound of turning pages sets off in an awful way. I would love to put together a sheet of questions and ask people with amisophonia to fill it out. I would like to see family histories and find out about triggers and when it started in all of you. I would prezent it to a doc to see if we can get someone to study this. My daughter also suffers horrible migraines. And sees a ped neurologist at rileys childrens in indy. He had never heard of this. Anywah, i am not good at typing on my droid so please forgive my misspellinhsgs. I would love to hear ur ideas on what causes thiz!

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      anonymous 5 years ago

      My daughter is 9. It started for her about a year ago at the age of 8. It seems everyone starts around 8. Makes me think we need to find out what part of the brain changes, develops or matures

      Around 8. Something must happen in the brain at that point. She picks on her older brother who is 10. He can't eat or even breathe in the house. It is real but still so hard to understand. It is so depessing to live like this. Now she can't hardly read which is her fav thing to do cause the sound of turning pages sets off in an awful way. I would love to put together a sheet of questions and ask people with amisophonia to fill it out. I would like to see family histories and find out about triggers and when it started in all of you. I would prezent it to a doc to see if we can get someone to study this. My daughter also suffers horrible migraines. And sees a ped neurologist at rileys childrens in indy. He had never heard of this. Anywah, i am not good at typing on my droid so please forgive my misspellinhsgs. I would love to hear ur ideas on what causes thiz!

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      anonymous 5 years ago

      Add me on facebook: Misophonia IsAwful

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      anonymous 5 years ago

      I suffered with this for years without knowing what it was and not knowing that other people had it too, i felt like it was my fault for not dealing with it and ignoring sounds like that like everybody else does. I have not told anyone because i think that they will say im making it up :/

      As well as sounds driving me to insanity repeatative movements can, like seeing someone shaking their leg even if it makes so sound, and twiddling their thumbs, is this related to misophonia or is this something else?

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      anonymous 5 years ago

      I'm in tears reading this. I've lived feeling crazy for 30 years, and am just now starting to find answers. I also have ADHD, chronic depression, and fall on the asperger's spectrum... all of these things I have found to be a fairly common thread between 4S sufferers. There needs to be a much harder push for research and answers. I have heard some theories that it may be linked to epilepsy and seizure activity in the brain...

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      anonymous 5 years ago

      Thank you thank you thank you for posting this. I've had misophonia since I was about 8 years old. I'm 18 now and very involved with college. Although sounds are mainly the things that make me angry, there are other things that bother me too, like pointing or when people swing their feet in my line of vision. Perhaps the most frustrating thing about it is not knowing what to tell people when I get frustrated or have to leave the room. Parents, if you think your child has this and you want to talk to me about it, I can probably tell you the best things to do to help them cope. If someone has this and just wants to talk about it, I'll be glad to chat. Obviously I'm not a doctor or anything, but there's so little information on this that what else can we do but support each other? I'm going to check the box that says notify me by email when someone posts a comment. If you want to talk write a comment that contains your email and I'll get back to you as soon as I see it!

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      anonymous 5 years ago

      i am 14 and i was always punish for not eating at the dinner table or punish because i slaped my sister when she sniffed now that i know misophonia i can eat at the counter but were not ire yet

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      anonymous 5 years ago

      i am 14 and i was always punish for not eating at the dinner table or punish because i slaped my sister when she sniffed now that i know misophonia i can eat at the counter but were not ire yet

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      anonymous 5 years ago

      Im 14 years old and I have been having misophonia for almost 2 years.I can't stand people who constantly cough or sniff or clear their throat.I get enraged or scared ofpeople coughing especially at home,xchool and church. I lost my ipod so I can't block out the noises anymore. Misophonia had been taking over my life and I can't just stand living like this anymore

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      Arvellas 5 years ago

      @anonymous: To my knowledge, there is no medication for Misophonia. The only medication I have ever taken for ADHD is Adderall, and it did nothing to help the Misophonia; antidepressants did not help either.

      That's the sticky thing about Misophonia: at this point in time, doctors simply do not understand it well enough to be able to treat it. It falls to us to make this disorder more widely known so that scientists can start researching it and hopefully develop effective treatments.

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      anonymous 6 years ago

      We have an 11 year old ADHD son who has shown signs of misophonia for the past 2-3 years. Does anyone have experience with ADHD and misophonia? If so, is there medication which would cover both? We do not want to load him with meds, but he simply cannot focus without some med help. His extreme issue with humming, eating sounds, tapping fingers, etc. seems to be getting worse. Thanks for any comments addressing this--

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      anonymous 6 years ago

      Myself and my son have suffered with Misophonia all of our lives. I have tried everything to my knowledge to get educated on this rare disorder but have yet to find a doctor in the USA that has ever heard of it. I do not know where else to turn for help. Thank you for your article it does help to know we are not the only ones with this problem.