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Living With Regret? Well It's a NEW DAY Baby!

Updated on May 13, 2013

Take My Heart... I Don't Want it Anymore?

Too sad and full of regret to do anything. Ever feel like that? Take my heart, it's broken and in a sense betrays you? Do you sometimes feel haunted by regret and despair? We all get sad from time to time, problem is when it becomes dominate. It can take you over.. if you let it. Sooo lets not let it! No matter what time of year it is each day is a NEW beginning.. each second. This very second is NEW Wow oh wow.. watch out world cause the happies are coming.. whooot whoot!

It is true that we are not perfect, no one is, we all make mistakes, do things we wished with all our hearts we hadn't, some silly and some serious, but we cannot change that, we can only MOVE FORWARD and time is a wasting, moving forward starts right NOW

There may be those around you who continually remind you of your mistakes and with some people, like our children perhaps, they might have a right to. BUT.. you are here to grow and learn and experience. You need to press on, move to the next level. Say you are sorry for whatever if it seems like you should, do it freely and understand its purpose, then MOVE FORWARD.. THIS IS YOUR LIFE and it is LIFE TAKE ONE.

What the dictionary says:



feel sad, repentant, or disappointed over (something that has happened or been done, esp. a loss or missed opportunity) she immediately regretted her words | [with clause ] I regretted that he did not see you.

used in polite formulas to express apology for or sadness over something unfortunate or unpleasant : any inconvenience to readers is regretted | -with clause- we regret that no tickets may be exchanged.

archaic feel sorrow for the loss or absence of (something pleasant) : my home, when shall I cease to regret you!


a feeling of sadness, repentance, or disappointment over something that has happened or been done : she expressed her regret at Virginia's death | he had to decline, to his regret.

(often regrets) an instance or cause of such a feeling : she had few regrets in leaving the house.

(often one's regrets) used in polite formulas to express apology for or sadness at an occurrence or an inability to accept an invitation : please give your grandmother my regrets.

A poem I wrote about someone I know who lives in the world of regret:

"Neon Travels Far and Wide - Yet Only in Her Mind"

Neon Blue came through an open window

beam of energy

she illuminated the room

with her screaming discontent.

Wounds too deep to dismiss

I could only hope to not make her shadow

mine own

while wondering if I could run far enough.

Born with a melancholy

that's what she told me

poetic moment

creating a romantic moment

out of the most disturbing chaos.

Never quite able to feel her wings

distracted by all those voices.

Various victims never noticed

outside her greying eyes

and misunderstood memories.

Neon Blue

so full of regret

the laughing was never loud enough

parties always started without her

even within her presence.

Parties are most fun

when anticipated upon

I guess.

A dreamer

prima dona

she simply could not help herself.

I'd like to say I understand her

but I confess

I never really will

no matter how many chances

colors on canvas

pen to paper

poetry of perplexing moments

I afford myself to do.


I remember her reaching out

chatting it up the mornings

hoping for glaring possibilities

to shine though

freshly cleaned windows

where lonely souls groom.

Sometimes I think of her


efforts on my part eventually

drained too dry to care.

Voices are within reach I guess

but at the moment

I count on past excuses

and make no contact at all.

There are adventures to be had

around any corner

all we have to do is decide to visit them.

Neon Blue so wanted to dance

experience a waltz without end

a party everlasting.

So sorry dear...

I tried.

Note: Neon Blue is a fictitious character. She is the misunderstood in all of us and exactly as you perceive her to be. She is you and she is me, if you choose to attach yourself, even temporarily, to her emotions and discontent.

ABOUT Kathy Ostman-Magnusen: I am an artist, represented by Monkdogz Urban Art, New York. ORIGINAL ART may be purchased through Monkdogz:

FREE ART GIFTS,suitable for children plus prints, giclees, cards, available on my website:


It can be overwhelming can't it? No hope of surfacing.

Sooo what to do?

The Beginning is HERE.. it is as strong or weak as your own heart... YOUR CHOICE

The Beginning is HERE.. it is as strong or weak as your own heart... YOUR CHOICE
The Beginning is HERE.. it is as strong or weak as your own heart... YOUR CHOICE



"I Kiss Your Shadow" Pt 1

You know that we all have a history that includes some regret by a certain age. If you are anything like me you worry, fret and try to be a better person starting now. History is something to learn from. I know if you are reading this that you do too. Yesterday I could not stop crying, yet today because of those tears, hopefully, I will notice someone else's. We get busy though don't we? We fail to see and hear the lives around us as we continue on our own pathways. Blades of grass are crumbled beneath our feet. I wrote "It is not I" so many times because of regret of course. We all hold ourselves in better esteem than someone who has missed an obvious a cry for help. I guess the goal is to do better 'today', to smell the rose sweeter in their honor and to try to love more. We all hope to be better people I think.

"I Kiss Your Shadow, A Poem About The Early Death Of A Young Woman" (part 1)

It is not I

not in my soul nor heart.

I could not have missed your pitiful tear.

I saw you walk away,

after we spoke,

glances did not know.

I am a swan in spring

my wings deliver different outcomes.

Yesterday I missed the sunrise

but a swans song promises a following day.

Poor flower of mine

how did I miss your message?

Ohhh it was not I.

I wish so much to say

what I should have easily let go

had I known.

I have much to tell you

too late.

Ice blue tints missed thoughtfulness.

It was not I.

I need to go back and start over.

I could have planted flowers

we would both reminisce about tender beginnings

plan bouquets of caring

share emotions that would include possibilities.

continued on Part 2


Kathy Ostman-Magnusen

copyright 2012

Fantasy Art Woman

I am a figurative artist and illustrator living in Hawaii. Most of my work is painted in oils. I also do sculpture. I illustrated for Hay House Inc.,"Women Who Do Too Much" CARDS taken from Anne Wilson Schaef's book. I also illustrated for Neil Davidson, who was considered for the Pulitzer Prize in feature writing, and several other publications. My paintings are collected worldwide.

In every single one of my paintings my objective is to 'know them'. To let character reveal their own vision or message. I am often astounded as their presence unfolds and I am met with who they are. I then realize that who 'they' are defines me as well. My hope is that my paintings & sculptures relate to you, and that legends of mermaids; whimsical angel pictures; and tooth fairies fantasies give you the message you need for your own heart and soul. and

The image is of my painting "Love You As Much As I Do" 48x36 oil on canvas


Regrets.. I've Had a Few... Read About It

Great UTube below on the subject of regret

From regretting the BIG things to the small, it seems to be something we all have in common so go easy on yourself.

Kathryn Schulz on the psychology of regret

Cook Time

Prep Time: As Long As You Need

Total Time: Tic Toc Tic Toc.. don't let is hang on too long

Serves: You


  • Loving Kindness
  • Execise
  • Meditaion
  • Get Out More
  • Create
  • make something beautiful
  • Have fun
  • Create
  • Make something beautiful
  • Read
  • Ask for forgiveness ... when it's needed
  • Make future plans.. today is day ONE
  • Sing and dance
  • Accept yourself
  • Watch some funny movies
  • Go back to school
  • Do something.. anything NEW


  1. Arms around you, and a deep breath, take one day at a time and try to be gentle with yourself. TODAY is a NEW day!
Cast your vote for Recipe For Regret Recovery

You are who you "SEE" yourself to be

You are who you "SEE"  yourself to be
You are who you "SEE" yourself to be


You don't want to run away though.. no, you want to meet life head on.

Cool song though, talking about retreat and regret.

RISE UP... lick your wounds and then? CONTINUE ON

RISE UP... lick your wounds and then? CONTINUE ON
RISE UP... lick your wounds and then? CONTINUE ON

Part 2 Below

Here below is part two to the poem/story above.

I Kiss Your Shadow pt 2

Part Two

My ship is lavender now.

Cold days blend with red roses.

I think of you often

hear forever your calling out for rescue.

I pack a suitcase to go back in time.

I am reproached by my own selfish needs

and not knowing what to do

not knowing what to wear to a young girls funeral.

I think of Lord Byron

a poem I memorized as a young girl

similar days

another friend lost to early frailties.

I whisper those words to you in part:

"And thou art dead as young and fair

as aught to mortal birth;

And form so soft, and charms so rare,

Too soon returned to Earth!

Though earth received them in her bed,

and o're the spot the crowd may tread

in carelessness or mirth,

There is an eye which could not brook

A moment on that grave to look"

Ah yes, so I beheld it not

I beheld them not.

It is not I.

I said those words so often

I bare no excuse at all.

It was not I?

Tender is this day

Colors seem muted

or is it that they are too bright?

Blades of grass remind me of your journey

as I walk I feel you all over again.

Worlds below the grass

things I never noticed.

I cannot bend the colors

nor the blades of grass

their day is set.

I sing only in shadow

now filled with regret.

It was not I.

We had pizza last night for dinner

frozen from the grocery store.

I fed the cats and dog this morning,

heard an airplane overhead,

people going places

living their lives

continuing on.

I think of you often

I remember that last day

and I kiss your shadow.


Kathy Ostman-Magnusen

copyright 2012

Fantasy Art Woman

The image is of one of my painting "Little Girl" 18x24 oil on canvas


My POEM: Baby Roses and Gardening Tips For the Soul, I Still Grieve For You

"Baby Roses and Gardening Tips For the Soul, I Still Grieve For You"

So many miles away now

yet still I contemplate the loss.

Sometimes living in regret is useful

and softens future assessments.

I try to hear the voices in-between.

Bright eyes

they do not decide my flight

my intended journey.

I comb the colors of your claims

decipher their uses

press on regardless.

I pruned the roses

because I heard them breathing.

I set their alarm

golden rules developed over time.

I looked out the window

noticed all the consequences

they lined the driveway.

I tried to focus on their dance

rather than their intension.

They lean sometimes too far

pull me apart in crowded rooms

of malcontents.

No matter how many layers

of well being

they often lie.

I always hear them whisper

after laughing.

Such nerve.

I pack up my paints

join the brigade

that only I can see now.

I chase after moons that rest.


coming out somewhere

leaning somewhere

somewhere from the grave.

I hear you...

try to hear me as well

Yes, I try.

And yet...

I grieve all the day

because your presence

chose to meet me.

Quiet roar.

I neglected to pave the way.

Who knew I would ever regret

bow my head

about the struggles outcome?

I pass the day

doing best I can.

I try to give honor

to stolen baby roses.

I should grow them here now.

Find their little souls.

I would have gathered them

long ago

saved their voices for my pleasure.

Too late?

So many miles away now.

I stood on the beach

and thought I heard you breathing.

3 February 2007

Kathy Ostman-Magnusen

copyright 2012


Sarah Brightman - Beautiful

Take three simple polls before you sign my guestbook and maybe give this lens a thumbs up? Thanks!

Poll 1 of 3



Do you have regrets?

See results

THE IMAGE IS OF MY PAINTING "FORGET ME NOT" 24X36 OIL ON CANVAS (gosh I think that i the title.. lol)

Poll 3 of 3


Do you forgive yourself easily?

See results


.. do the best you can, that is truly all you can do.

Call Me... Keep in touch with those you love. Don't put it off.

Call Me... Keep in touch with those you love. Don't put it off.
Call Me... Keep in touch with those you love. Don't put it off.

You don't want it anymore? Sure you DO!

You don't want it anymore? Sure you DO!
You don't want it anymore? Sure you DO!

Snow Patrol

The Most Important Thing LEARN TO LOVE YOU!

This year start again.. this very second do it all better and put your heart into it. YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN!

Guestbook Comments ~Tell me you were here and add a THUMBS UP! - THANK YOU!

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    • TransplantedSoul profile image


      5 years ago

      I enjoyed reading this Kathy.

    • WriterJanis2 profile image


      6 years ago

      This is very inspiring. You are so good at writing.

    • profile image


      6 years ago

      Your verse and paintings combined beautifully describe living with regrets and living beyond regret through self-forgiveness.

    • whats4dinner profile image


      7 years ago

      Great lesson on forgiveness and moving on.

    • JJNW profile image


      7 years ago from USA

      Thanks for the boost forward. My Squidoo friends are helping me keep moving.

    • goo2eyes lm profile image

      goo2eyes lm 

      7 years ago

      life is like a puzzle. all tiles fall in the right places - in time. angel blessings.

    • goo2eyes lm profile image

      goo2eyes lm 

      7 years ago

      life is like a puzzle. all tiles fall in the right places - in time. angel blessings.

    • goo2eyes lm profile image

      goo2eyes lm 

      7 years ago

      you forgot the question on poll no.2 sometimes, i regret but that was spur of the moment. i am satisfied of what i became of myself, what i have and what i have accomplished.

    • Afteretc profile image


      7 years ago

      i don't have much problems with regret, more with forgiveness. i will hold a grudge ...forever. The way I look at least I recognize my flaws.

    • ForestBear LM profile image

      ForestBear LM 

      7 years ago

      Wonderful lens which serves a great reminder to always move forward and not get stuck in the past. It's so easy to let regret dominate our thoughts. Thank you for sharing - your canvas artwork look fantastic!

    • profile image


      7 years ago

      Love your countdown timer. Reminds us to make full use of this year 2012 and not let it be the same as last year.

    • kathysart profile imageAUTHOR


      7 years ago

      Happy day... this is the FIRST day.. of the rest of our lives. We've heard that so many times but it is an amazing thought.


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