Living With Regret? Well It's a NEW DAY Baby!
Take My Heart... I Don't Want it Anymore?
Too sad and full of regret to do anything. Ever feel like that? Take my heart, it's broken and in a sense betrays you? Do you sometimes feel haunted by regret and despair? We all get sad from time to time, problem is when it becomes dominate. It can take you over.. if you let it. Sooo lets not let it! No matter what time of year it is each day is a NEW beginning.. each second. This very second is NEW Wow oh wow.. watch out world cause the happies are coming.. whooot whoot!
It is true that we are not perfect, no one is, we all make mistakes, do things we wished with all our hearts we hadn't, some silly and some serious, but we cannot change that, we can only MOVE FORWARD and time is a wasting, moving forward starts right NOW
There may be those around you who continually remind you of your mistakes and with some people, like our children perhaps, they might have a right to. BUT.. you are here to grow and learn and experience. You need to press on, move to the next level. Say you are sorry for whatever if it seems like you should, do it freely and understand its purpose, then MOVE FORWARD.. THIS IS YOUR LIFE and it is LIFE TAKE ONE.
What the dictionary says:
feel sad, repentant, or disappointed over (something that has happened or been done, esp. a loss or missed opportunity) she immediately regretted her words | [with clause ] I regretted that he did not see you.
used in polite formulas to express apology for or sadness over something unfortunate or unpleasant : any inconvenience to readers is regretted | -with clause- we regret that no tickets may be exchanged.
archaic feel sorrow for the loss or absence of (something pleasant) : my home, when shall I cease to regret you!
a feeling of sadness, repentance, or disappointment over something that has happened or been done : she expressed her regret at Virginia's death | he had to decline, to his regret.
(often regrets) an instance or cause of such a feeling : she had few regrets in leaving the house.
(often one's regrets) used in polite formulas to express apology for or sadness at an occurrence or an inability to accept an invitation : please give your grandmother my regrets.
A poem I wrote about someone I know who lives in the world of regret:
"Neon Travels Far and Wide - Yet Only in Her Mind"
Neon Blue came through an open window
beam of energy
she illuminated the room
with her screaming discontent.
Wounds too deep to dismiss
I could only hope to not make her shadow
while wondering if I could run far enough.
Born with a melancholy
that's what she told me
creating a romantic moment
out of the most disturbing chaos.
Never quite able to feel her wings
distracted by all those voices.
Various victims never noticed
outside her greying eyes
and misunderstood memories.
so full of regret
the laughing was never loud enough
parties always started without her
even within her presence.
Parties are most fun
when anticipated upon
she simply could not help herself.
I'd like to say I understand her
but I confess
I never really will
no matter how many chances
colors on canvas
pen to paper
poetry of perplexing moments
I afford myself to do.
I remember her reaching out
chatting it up the mornings
hoping for glaring possibilities
to shine though
freshly cleaned windows
where lonely souls groom.
Sometimes I think of her
efforts on my part eventually
drained too dry to care.
Voices are within reach I guess
but at the moment
I count on past excuses
and make no contact at all.
There are adventures to be had
around any corner
all we have to do is decide to visit them.
Neon Blue so wanted to dance
experience a waltz without end
a party everlasting.
So sorry dear...
Note: Neon Blue is a fictitious character. She is the misunderstood in all of us and exactly as you perceive her to be. She is you and she is me, if you choose to attach yourself, even temporarily, to her emotions and discontent.
ABOUT Kathy Ostman-Magnusen: I am an artist, represented by Monkdogz Urban Art, New York. ORIGINAL ART may be purchased through Monkdogz: http://www.monkdogz.com/chelseagallery/artistart/M...
FREE ART GIFTS,suitable for children plus prints, giclees, cards, available on my website: http://www.kathysart.com
It can be overwhelming can't it? No hope of surfacing.
Sooo what to do?
The Beginning is HERE.. it is as strong or weak as your own heart... YOUR CHOICE
TURN ON THE MUSIC FOR AMBIANCE! LETS GET STARTED
I DID IT MY WAY
"I Kiss Your Shadow" Pt 1
You know that we all have a history that includes some regret by a certain age. If you are anything like me you worry, fret and try to be a better person starting now. History is something to learn from. I know if you are reading this that you do too. Yesterday I could not stop crying, yet today because of those tears, hopefully, I will notice someone else's. We get busy though don't we? We fail to see and hear the lives around us as we continue on our own pathways. Blades of grass are crumbled beneath our feet. I wrote "It is not I" so many times because of regret of course. We all hold ourselves in better esteem than someone who has missed an obvious a cry for help. I guess the goal is to do better 'today', to smell the rose sweeter in their honor and to try to love more. We all hope to be better people I think.
"I Kiss Your Shadow, A Poem About The Early Death Of A Young Woman" (part 1)
It is not I
not in my soul nor heart.
I could not have missed your pitiful tear.
I saw you walk away,
after we spoke,
glances did not know.
I am a swan in spring
my wings deliver different outcomes.
Yesterday I missed the sunrise
but a swans song promises a following day.
Poor flower of mine
how did I miss your message?
Ohhh it was not I.
I wish so much to say
what I should have easily let go
had I known.
I have much to tell you
Ice blue tints missed thoughtfulness.
It was not I.
I need to go back and start over.
I could have planted flowers
we would both reminisce about tender beginnings
plan bouquets of caring
share emotions that would include possibilities.
continued on Part 2
Fantasy Art Woman
I am a figurative artist and illustrator living in Hawaii. Most of my work is painted in oils. I also do sculpture. I illustrated for Hay House Inc.,"Women Who Do Too Much" CARDS taken from Anne Wilson Schaef's book. I also illustrated for Neil Davidson, who was considered for the Pulitzer Prize in feature writing, and several other publications. My paintings are collected worldwide.
In every single one of my paintings my objective is to 'know them'. To let character reveal their own vision or message. I am often astounded as their presence unfolds and I am met with who they are. I then realize that who 'they' are defines me as well. My hope is that my paintings & sculptures relate to you, and that legends of mermaids; whimsical angel pictures; and tooth fairies fantasies give you the message you need for your own heart and soul. http://www.kathysart.com and http://kathysart.blogspot.com
The image is of my painting "Love You As Much As I Do" 48x36 oil on canvas
Regrets.. I've Had a Few... Read About It
Great UTube below on the subject of regret
From regretting the BIG things to the small, it seems to be something we all have in common so go easy on yourself.
Kathryn Schulz on the psychology of regret
Prep Time: As Long As You Need
Total Time: Tic Toc Tic Toc.. don't let is hang on too long
- Loving Kindness
- Get Out More
- make something beautiful
- Have fun
- Make something beautiful
- Ask for forgiveness ... when it's needed
- Make future plans.. today is day ONE
- Sing and dance
- Accept yourself
- Watch some funny movies
- Go back to school
- Do something.. anything NEW
- Arms around you, and a deep breath, take one day at a time and try to be gentle with yourself. TODAY is a NEW day!
You are who you "SEE" yourself to be
TURN ON SOME MUSIC
You don't want to run away though.. no, you want to meet life head on.
Cool song though, talking about retreat and regret.
RISE UP... lick your wounds and then? CONTINUE ON
Part 2 Below
Here below is part two to the poem/story above.
I Kiss Your Shadow pt 2
My ship is lavender now.
Cold days blend with red roses.
I think of you often
hear forever your calling out for rescue.
I pack a suitcase to go back in time.
I am reproached by my own selfish needs
and not knowing what to do
not knowing what to wear to a young girls funeral.
I think of Lord Byron
a poem I memorized as a young girl
another friend lost to early frailties.
I whisper those words to you in part:
"And thou art dead as young and fair
as aught to mortal birth;
And form so soft, and charms so rare,
Too soon returned to Earth!
Though earth received them in her bed,
and o're the spot the crowd may tread
in carelessness or mirth,
There is an eye which could not brook
A moment on that grave to look"
Ah yes, so I beheld it not
I beheld them not.
It is not I.
I said those words so often
I bare no excuse at all.
It was not I?
Tender is this day
Colors seem muted
or is it that they are too bright?
Blades of grass remind me of your journey
as I walk I feel you all over again.
Worlds below the grass
things I never noticed.
I cannot bend the colors
nor the blades of grass
their day is set.
I sing only in shadow
now filled with regret.
It was not I.
We had pizza last night for dinner
frozen from the grocery store.
I fed the cats and dog this morning,
heard an airplane overhead,
people going places
living their lives
I think of you often
I remember that last day
and I kiss your shadow.
Fantasy Art Woman
The image is of one of my painting "Little Girl" 18x24 oil on canvas
My POEM: Baby Roses and Gardening Tips For the Soul, I Still Grieve For You
"Baby Roses and Gardening Tips For the Soul, I Still Grieve For You"
So many miles away now
yet still I contemplate the loss.
Sometimes living in regret is useful
and softens future assessments.
I try to hear the voices in-between.
they do not decide my flight
my intended journey.
I comb the colors of your claims
decipher their uses
press on regardless.
I pruned the roses
because I heard them breathing.
I set their alarm
golden rules developed over time.
I looked out the window
noticed all the consequences
they lined the driveway.
I tried to focus on their dance
rather than their intension.
They lean sometimes too far
pull me apart in crowded rooms
No matter how many layers
of well being
they often lie.
I always hear them whisper
I pack up my paints
join the brigade
that only I can see now.
I chase after moons that rest.
coming out somewhere
somewhere from the grave.
I hear you...
try to hear me as well
Yes, I try.
I grieve all the day
because your presence
chose to meet me.
I neglected to pave the way.
Who knew I would ever regret
bow my head
about the struggles outcome?
I pass the day
doing best I can.
I try to give honor
to stolen baby roses.
I should grow them here now.
Find their little souls.
I would have gathered them
saved their voices for my pleasure.
So many miles away now.
I stood on the beach
and thought I heard you breathing.
3 February 2007
YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!
Sarah Brightman - Beautiful
Take three simple polls before you sign my guestbook and maybe give this lens a thumbs up? Thanks!
Poll 1 of 3
THE IMAGE IS OF ONE OF MY PAINTINGS FROM MY VICTORIAN SERIES
"MOTHER AND DAUGHTER" 36X48 OIL ON CANVAS
Do you have regrets?
THE IMAGE IS OF MY PAINTING "FORGET ME NOT" 24X36 OIL ON CANVAS (gosh I think that i the title.. lol)
Poll 3 of 3
THE IMAGE IS OF MY PAINTING "LAVENDER CLOAK" 12X18 OIL ON CANVAS
Do you forgive yourself easily?
Take CARE of TODAY
.. do the best you can, that is truly all you can do.
Call Me... Keep in touch with those you love. Don't put it off.
You don't want it anymore? Sure you DO!
The Most Important Thing LEARN TO LOVE YOU!
This year start again.. this very second do it all better and put your heart into it. YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN!