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Miscarriage Recovery Journey

Updated on February 14, 2013

When The Unthinkable Happens

If you sadly find yourself in this situation it can feel like a foreign world and miscarriage recovery is probably the last thing on your mind. There are usually many questions and sometimes few answers. You may find yourself asking why me? How did this happen? Did I do something wrong? Will I ever recover?

It is normal to have these questions and to feel as though your world has been turned upside down. It is important to remember you are not alone. Once you start scratching the surface you realise miscarriage occurs quite frequently and is sadly very common.

photo courtesy of MyJayKay

The First Steps To Miscarriage Recovery

The emotional part of recovery is just as important as the physical side.

Don't underestimate the power of hugs and a good chat. Being able to talk with someone is vital to your recovery. It is comforting to know people are there when you need them and talking about your loss with others who have been through the same experience as you, can be incredibly beneficial. Reach out when you need support.

A chat with your doctor can also be helpful at this time, especially if you are struggling. He or she may even recommend you chat to a professional counsellor who can provide you with additional support and teach you coping mechanisms to navigate your way through this difficult time in your life.

It is important to reach out for support when you need it.

Comfort Therapy

Pets

Walks

Massage

Haircut

Reading

Gardening

Love

Support

Taking Time Out

It is ok to turn down invitations. You may not want to face people and only you can decide when the time is right to face the real world again. People may not understand but you really have to look after yourself at this time.

If you need to, distance yourself from babies for a while until your heart heals a little. It will pass eventually so take all the time you need to deal with these confronting emotions. Pretending you are ok and that it doesn’t hurt to see a newborn or another pregnant woman, can set you back and will cause you to bottle up your hurt which can be so damaging.

It is important to grieve and heal your heart. Remember to face the world only when you are ready.

Do what makes you feel good. Be selfish! You are special and deserve much happiness.

Pamper Yourself

Take some time out to relax and re charge. The benefits of Yoga are amazing and can be enjoyed in a class or at home.

Gaiam Cargo Yoga Mat Bag, Damask
Gaiam Cargo Yoga Mat Bag, Damask

A chic, functional classic yoga essential. This mat bag is roomy enough for your yoga mat and other workout essentials. 100% cotton it also sports a zippered front pocket. Soft yet durable construction.

 
Gaiam Solid Yoga Mat, Green Tea, 3mm
Gaiam Solid Yoga Mat, Green Tea, 3mm

Lightweight and durable textured non-slip surface. Cushions your body through every move. (61cm x 172cm x 3mm)

 
Yoga: Gentle Practice
Yoga: Gentle Practice

Experience peace & tranquility, with gentle guidance inspiring your practice and rejuvenating your spirit and body. You can choose your level, and amount of time that you want to practice.This is a great DVD for beginners or anyone new to yoga.

 

Hurtful Comments

Some people’s comments can unfortunately be hurtful even though that may not have been their intention. They want to say the right thing and make you feel better but it doesn’t always end up that way.

In other cases its thoughtlessness, ignorance, lack of empathy or simply a lack of awareness that causes them to say silly things.

Try not to take it to heart as a lot of people simply don’t know how to act in these situations.

What Not To Say To Someone Who Has Had A Miscarriage

It was for the best

Just get over it

It wasn't a real baby

At least you can get pregnant

There was obviously something wrong with it

It was only the size of a fingernail

If you don't know what to say, simply say "I'm Sorry For Your Loss."

This is a place for you to share how you are feeling or how you have dealt with miscarriage. You may want to express your sadness, grief, courage, hope or strength. It can be healing to voice your emotions and know you are not alone.

Pass on your positive, healing energy to others and what is helping or has helped you best in your recovery.

Share Your Experience - How Are You Coping?

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    Hold on to hope

    Hold on to hope
    Hold on to hope

    Health And Nutrition

    Keep yourself well nourished and remember your physical strength will recover when your body is ready to do so.

    It is important to keep your iron levels in check and to have your blood checked soon after your miscarriage. Low iron levels can leave you feeling depleted with low energy levels. Simple tasks like grocery shopping can leave you feeling as if you've just climbed a mountain.

    It may take many months to build up iron stores in your blood, especially if you suffer heavy periods. Eating red meat and taking iron supplements as recommended by your doctor, can be vital. Additional supplements may also be recommended to support your recovery and assist you.

    A Naturopath alongside your GP can help manage your health and get you back on track. You may also benefit from acupuncture, yoga, massage, slow walks, warm baths and meditation.

    Grieving is a physically exhausting process and you will probably need to sleep or rest as much as you can. Take whatever steps are necessary to give yourself the uninterrupted peace to do this.

    Improve Your Wellbeing

    Nourish, heal and soothe with Lavender Essential Oil. Create a calm and relaxing oasis to promote balance and inner peace. Lavender has properties that are beneficial for stress, anxiety and rejuvenation. Use with an oil burner to create a calming sanctuary when you need to relax.

    Aura Cacia Pure Essential Oil, Lavender, 0.5 Fluid Ounce
    Aura Cacia Pure Essential Oil, Lavender, 0.5 Fluid Ounce

    Made from the aromatic essences of plants, Lavender Essential Oil can

    improve your emotional and spiritual well-being.

     

    Providing Support

    It is normal to feel helpless when someone close to you experiences miscarriage, but there are many things you can do to help. You'd be surprised how simple gestures and acts can mean a lot to someone who is grieving and how they will long be remembered and appreciated.

    It is important not to stay away during this time or pretend the miscarriage has not happened. It may be an easy option for some people, particularly those who are uncomfortable with grief, but this may convey you don't care and diminish their painful miscarriage experience. Ignoring or avoiding the issue can leave a grieving person feeling like an outcast.

    Grieving parents need support and by simply acknowledging the miscarriage has occurred is the first step in helping them. Ask them how they are and give them the time they need to grieve.

    Simply asking someone how they are shows you care.

    How You Can Help Someone Suffering From Grief

    Let them know you are sorry for their loss

    Make yourself available to talk/listen

    Cook them a meal

    Help with the house cleaning/washing

    Be sensitive and aware around the due date the baby would have been born

    Invite them over for a soothing cup of tea

    Remember grief has its own timeline for everybody and cannot be rushed. Never expect someone to “just get over it.”

    Soothing Tea

    Put the kettle on and allow yourself time to put your feet up and indulge in a cup of tea. Replenish your energy as you sip slowly, feeling the healing benefits of tea revitalise you.

    Aromamore Tea Sampler Gift Set with Loose Leaf Tea - Black Tea, White Tea, Green Tea, and Others
    Aromamore Tea Sampler Gift Set with Loose Leaf Tea - Black Tea, White Tea, Green Tea, and Others

    Aromamore gourmet loose leaf tea sample set includes 6 beautifully packed tins. Makes a great gift.

     
    Le Creuset Stoneware 22-Ounce Teapot with Infuser, Marseille
    Le Creuset Stoneware 22-Ounce Teapot with Infuser, Marseille

    Beautiful stoneware teapot comes with a handy infuser insert specifically made to rest inside for perfectly steeped loose-leaf tea.

     
    Twinings Variety Pack of Four Flavors, Tea Bags, 20-Count Boxes (Pack of 6)
    Twinings Variety Pack of Four Flavors, Tea Bags, 20-Count Boxes (Pack of 6)

    Four expertly blended Twinings black tea flavours. English breakfast, Earl Grey, Lady Grey and Irish Breakfast, each a natural source of antioxidants.

     

    Do You Know Someone Who May Need Support?

    Thank You For Your Visit

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      • norma-holt profile image

        norma-holt 4 years ago

        One can only imagine the pain of a miscarriage to parents expecting a baby. My sympathy goes out to all those who have experienced this horror. You don't say whether this is your own experience or why you are doing the lens. None the less it is now featured on Blessed by Skiesgreen 2012-2 and also on How to Baby

      • TransplantedSoul profile image

        TransplantedSoul 4 years ago

        This must be a very tough thing to go through. Just remember you are never alone. Talk to those close to you.

      • WriterJanis2 profile image

        WriterJanis2 4 years ago

        You have such great advice on a very sensitive subject. Blessed!