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Narcissistic Personality Disorder and a Narcissist Injury

Updated on September 14, 2012
Narcissists are not interested in your feelings
Narcissists are not interested in your feelings
The Narcissist is always the important one?
The Narcissist is always the important one?
A Narcissist will leave you at the drop of a hat?
A Narcissist will leave you at the drop of a hat?

The Narcissistic Injury

If you have ever asked a Narcissist why did someone decide to confront you? You will undoubtedly be then given a one-dimensional account of events. You will hear what that evil or stupid person person said to them in great exaggerated detail. All of the angry comments inflicted on them will be over emphasized and all the while the Narcissist will look at you with big, innocent, hurt eyes as if they genuinely have no idea why the other person dropped everything else they had going on in their lives and suddenly decided to visit them just to have a go at them.

As the Narcissist sees it their attacker simply had nothing better to be doing with their time than tormenting them for no good reason. The way the person with Narcissistic Personality Disorder sees it they should just be able to manipulate their victim and then go home for a nice cup of coffee and their favourite TV show. They have no concept of the hurt they have bestowed on their victim because of course they have no ability to empathise with other people and never imagine that they too can feel human pain. Instead they know the person deserves what they get because they are jealous of them or maybe the Narcissist assumes their victim is just plain evil or deranged. The person who is wise to the Narcissist will however just nod politely at their version of events while already wondering what really happened?

If you then ask the Narcissist did you say or do anything to precipitate the fall out? They have suddenly developed amnesia. They said nothing they will plead, they just sat there with their best martyr face on and took everything that was thrown at them in total bewilderment as to why they were attacked?

The Narcissist is always totally innocent and guess what folks they actually believe this. They do not remember all the pain and hurt they hurled at you, all the dirt they reminded you of, all the other family members or loved ones who were berated by them over your evilness suddenly all this is gone in a puff of smoke. The Narcissist just doesn’t bother storing any memories of all the lies they told to get at you or the terrible pain and hurt they spread around continuously. How you might ask can they be like this?

Simply because your pain and upset is of no relevance to them, you are just an inferior being unworthy of their time and now that you have turned on them they will want no more to do with you. They will now discredit you, tell everyone you are too evil to be bothered with. Also they will probably concoct a version of the events that does not describe a three dimensional person but rather a caricature of what they have decided you to be.

The scorned Narcissist will now turn their back on you and pretend you don’t exist anymore unless it is just to belittle you to others. They will go out of their way to avoid you and they no longer want your inferior eyes upon their grandiose face as they now feel you are not worthy to even look at them. They are too special, too unique and too superior to give you any more of their precious time.

If you now meet your scorned Narcissist on the street they will ignore you and take on a haughty expression that is meant to tell you quite plainly that they would rather conduct a conversation with the dirt on your shoe than you. In some cases the Narcissist will go to extreme lengths to avoid associating with their sources of discredited Narcissistic supply. You are now just classed as being an inferior life form who has dared to bestow a Narcissistic injury upon them. Tactics such as covering their faces when they see you is not unheard of because in their eyes you are now just not worthy to even look at them. Why do they do this?

They now know you can see through their public face and this is terrifying for them. You can now see the real person behind the mask and now their act just won’t work with you. They just cannot handle this assault on their public persona from such a stupid person. So the only solution as they see it is to simply write you off as if you never actually existed at all.

This can be a very painful, stressful and traumatic experience for the victim of a Narcissistic injury. In the longer term though you are free from your emotional vampire and you can just let them be. The Narcissist will always move on and find new sources of Narcissistic supply without even giving you another thought. Eventually they may run out of people who are willing to take them under their wing and then usually they become very bitter and angry at the world. Then you are the real winner because now at least you are free from their condescension and manipulation and most importantly you can get on with your own life.


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    • thewritingowl profile imageAUTHOR

      Mary Kelly Godley 

      6 years ago from Ireland

      Thanks for feedback and encouragement. Its still all a learning curve for me but I am enjoying it immensely and will persevere.

    • tsmog profile image

      Tim Mitchell 

      6 years ago from Escondido, CA

      A very intriguing concept. Very well presented and oddly causes much thought. A recommended read, offering thought and feelings to any who read. Voted and shared.

      Maybe a little more. Knowing amnesia like a good friend and knowing some who dance with that mythic creature and the mirror, also friends, I ponder. Maybe they are really just stuck and more afraid than you or I. I ponder disassociation attached to the wonderment of one who is lost, who at times simply do not want to be found and feel trapped.

      I am going to reread what was writ, since it provides so much to be considered, and again very well written while I offer a bit of praise. Thank you for allowing synchronicity to come into play with this contribution. I suggest reading this hub and ponder those wise words, the author of the hub did share . . .



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