- Mental Health
Profile of a Person With High Self-Esteem
Characteristics of People With High Self-Esteem
Life is what a person makes it. Life is a mixture of bliss and difficulties. Why is it that some people who were born into perfect families and had affluent backgrounds crumble when difficulties arise whereas others born into less than perfect families and difficult and/or poverty stricken backgrounds succeed? The question is having high self-esteem.
There are people who naturally thrive on adversity and challenge. They adamantly refuse to permit teachers, parents, and others deter them from accomplishing their goals. They further disallow people from denigrating them and they ignore naysayers. They could care less what others think about them. They have a strong sense of self.
Media mogul Oprah Winfrey was born into a poverty stricken family to teenage parents. Her early childhood was harsh and fraught with difficulty. Despite of this, she inwardly knew at an early age that she would achieve greatness. She admitted during an interview that she knew that she would be a great success. She often mentioned that her grandmother would tell her to get some good Caucasian people to work for. She wanted a life beyond that of a servant and refused to listen to the advice of her grandmother.
Later on, Ms. Winfrey lived with her mother. Her mother discouraged her from reading, often instructing her to play outside. Her father subsequently rescued her. While under the tutelage of her father, she was issued strict curfews and taught the importance of education and achievement. Under the guidance of her father, she became a straight-A student and won a Presidential award. She attended the University of Tennessee, studied journalism, and subsequently achieved phenomenal career success. Ms. Winfrey is a billionaire media mogul and a philanthropist. She is an inspiration to millions of people throughout the world.
Conversely, a female supervisor at my first job had very little self-esteem. In fact, her self-esteem can be aptly described as extremely abysmal. She would let one of her subordinates order her around as to how to supervise the other staff and how to live her personal life. She existed in total havoc and disorganization. She was unable to make decisions and/or to use commonsense judgements. Every time she was asked to make a decision, she started to go into convulsions. As a result of being afraid to make decisions, stronger subordinates often made decisions for this supervisor. Some subordinates actually informed her that as a supervisor, she was getting paid to make decisions, not them!
Of course, this supervisor had a very chaotic personal life. Her friends, both male and female, verbally abused her. Those friends would often be late for movie, theater, and restaurant dates. They would often berate and denigrate her opinions, saying that she was totally asinine. She related at work how people routinely disrespected her. I frequently noticed how people would talk about her, laughing at her to her face and behind her back.
This supervisor was extremely intelligent; however, she believed that she was an insignificant person to say the least. A subordinate consistently called her retarded, stating that she was not worthy of respect. This supervisor graduated magna cum laude from an exclusive European private school. However, her highest position was that of second level clerical supervisor. She came from a very wealthy European family. Her parents possess Doctorate Degrees in Business.
This supervisor's father was an executive and her mother was a highly placed consultant. In spite of her wealthy background and parents advanced educations, her mother consistently called her stupid and never encouraged her to achieve significant success. This supervisor revealed to us that she wanted to attend college; however, her mother informed her that she was totally incapable of continuing her education. As a result of the mother's remark, this supervisor's self-esteem plummeted to its nadir. Her abysmal self-esteem caused her to overly depend upon men with the purpose of enhancing her self-worth. She further divulged to us that men would often verbally and physically abuse her!
Possessing high self-esteem is paramount to career and social success. Although a person often start at the bottom in their careers, if he/she possesses high self-esteem,he/she will have the confidence to achieve greatness in his/her respective career. People with high self-esteem do not believe that superiors and bosses are better than they are. Many people consider a person with high self-esteem to be conceited. However, a person with self-esteem is not conceited in the least.
Self-love and self-regard are everything. A person with high self-esteem is treated better than a person with medium to low self-esteem. Conversely, a person with low esteem usually believes that superiors and bosses are better than he/she is. Oftentimes, a person with low self-esteem does not have the wherewithal to succeed, often believing that he/she is so insignificant and that the odds are totally against him/her ever becoming upward mobile in the career arena.
Children with high self-esteem are less likely to be bullied by their peers and teachers alike. Sometimes teachers deemed children with high self-esteem "difficult" because these children will not be docile like other children are. These children will not take any verbal abuse from their teachers. These are the C students who go on to attend college despite teachers' admonitions that they are not college material, suggesting that they attend trade and/or vocational schools they attend trade and/or vocational schools. Because of these C students' high self-esteem, they ignored the teachers' advice, often achieving phenomenal career success.
Sometimes it is the A student who has low self-esteem because he/she measure himself/herself by his/her grades and achievements instead of measuring himself/herself on pure self-worth. For example, if an A student achieves less than a stellar academic report, he/she suffers a decrease of self-esteem and feel that he/she is a failure. Many times, a parent reinforces this fact. I knew a student in high school who was a straight-A student. However, she made a C in geometry and a B- in chemistry and her parents told her that she was an abysmal failure although she remained on the honor roll. As a result of her parents' opinion of her, she was afraid to try new things lest she fail.
Failure does not deter a person who has high self-esteem. People with high self-esteem realize that failure is a part of life and embrace it. They know that with success comes failure. Many successful people fail many times before they achieve success in their careers and personal lives. People with high self-esteem do not equate failure with who they are as people. People with high self-esteem usually bounce back from failure. Whereas people with low self-esteem equate failure with who they are as people. Many people with low self-esteem literally crumble when they fail. Some people with low self-esteem cannot take failure at all and commit suicide feeling that their lives are a failure.
People with high self-esteem will demand respect from all their relationships. Bosses often think very carefully before they cross the line, if ever, with such people. These are the people who usually succeed in their careers although they may be of average ability. These people garner respect from their superiors and peers alike. These people do not let what their superiors say about them hold them back.
In families, people with high self-esteem receive more respect be they children, spouses, and parents. Parents usually respect children who have high self-esteem because they are not docile. These children usually know what they want early in life and will not let what their parents say about them deter them from their lifelong goals. Spouses are less likely to be abused when they possess high self-esteem.
In summation, having high self-esteem is a very important life component. People who possess high self-esteem are able to survive and even thrive in negative circumstances. They are the people who refuse to let negative circumstances deter them from being successful and happy people.
People with high self-esteem do not know the meaning of the word failure. They view failure as a learning experience. They also demand respect from others. They do not see others, particularly those in higher positions as better than they are. They feel that they are just as good as these people.
People with high self-esteem refuse to permit others to disrespect them. They refuse to let others cross certain boundaries with them. They value themselves too much to permit such ill treatment from their parents, families, friends, superiors, and/or associates. Having high self-esteem is the difference between life being lived on individual terms and just being at the mercy of other people.