Sex is Not Evil
Sex or Never Let a Boy Touch You
Anyone who thinks sex is evil should think about how they got here. Are they the product of evil or of a loving relationship between two people, the likes of which religion appears to abhor.
Welcome to my lens on sexuality and why it is not evil. If you have issues with your sexuality you might find this story interesting
Many of us 'oldies' grew up in days when anything related to sex was a no no and this type of brain washing has carried with us for life. It is particularly relevant among the pre baby boomers and those caught in misguided religious training as young children.
What many did not realize was that sex is as normal as eating and drinking and by putting up the barriers the puritans also put up mental restraints that, in turn, created major health and psychological problems. Sex is a normal activity meant for procreation and enjoyment of a partner. But all too many put it in a different category and try to control people's natural hormonal flows.
Educated in a Catholic school my sexual education was zilch except for when a priest told us, as a class of young girls, "never let a boy touch you". I have wondered how difficult that must have been for him to give this great sex talk which lasted all of a couple of minutes. The result was that I went through most of my teenage years surrounded by the proverbial brick wall in case a boy might want to touch me. Some of my classmates got pregnant as teenagers and many underwent abortions, a real taboo in Catholic eyes.
My research led me to what the man responsible for the bible wrote in his diary of when he saw a young, very attractive woman locked in public stocks (an ancient restraint) and men hacked off her breasts.
He justified the action because "she led men astray". He set up the laws to prohibit women taking an active role in the Church.
Distorted Perceptions Of Sex
Sex Was Out
Not being a Catholic the pain was made more horrendous because most of my class had little to do with me. I was taboo and obviously born of the devil, or something. That probably made me more straight laced being intimidated to the point of dread of what they would or could say about me was extremely intimidating. Of course, in hindsight, it was bullying.
So sex was out! But at sixteen a man did try to touch me and it caused me to almost freak out. It would be years before someone got that close again. Then something happened that began to break down the barriers. During my studies to enter university the biology lecturer spoke about sex. There was snickering from the audience as no one we knew had ever done that before.
He spoke of it in animals and plants, particularly ferns. We were stunned into absolute silence and you could have heard a pin drop as his arm came back over his elbow and flung forward in a demonstration of how the spores are released from a frond. You can see the tightly wound up spore sacks on the back of the frond in the picture. When they are sent shooting off into the air the aim is to land on a moist patch where they develop into gametophytes.
Such an organ is less than half an inch across. It contains male and female agents and if the conditions are right fertilization takes place and a new fern grows. Wow!
Then we examined the sexual organs of various animals, even got to dissect them. One thing was for sure everything alive has something to connect it to sex. A song played on the radio stating that 'birds do it, bees do it, even educated fleas do it . . . ." Did the priest know all about that?
Did You Get Sex Advice at School?
Or was it as pathetic as mine?
Nothing was Taboo
Understanding the Human Body
When I entered medical school the barriers really came down for good, although I was still shy of men. We all dove into the anatomy books and studied the human organs, including the taboo parts, and thought little of it. Beginning to realize certain things about my own body was annoying somewhat because some of the inhibitions were still around. I wanted to be free and open and not worry about what anyone else thinks. But that was not possible as even my parents were against open sex discussions.
They would probably die of fright if they were around now and saw how their grandchildren act now. So its better that they have passed on without that knowledge. As for me I think it is just and right that people can now form sexual relationships and live together before marriage. Happy days!
Medical students are free to relate anything and the general conversation around lunchtime was about sex and why things are the way they are. The freedom between males and females alike was amazing and we were all equal and equally puzzled about certain aspects of the subject.
If God made us to reproduce and all animals and plants do it, even insects, then why is it wrong? The answer is, of course, money and politics.
Falling In Love
Its Right and Proper
Every one can remember their first love. Who it was, how it happened, where you were. I was eight years old when it happened to me for the first time. My father took me on a holiday with an aunt and uncle to their lake side cabin at Tuross Lakes in Southern New South Wales..
During the day dad was under the jetty picking oysters and I was eating them almost as fast as he picked them off. That night there was a dance at the local hall and they decided to take me. Dressed up as best I could be in my holiday clothes it was a great surprise when a little boy asked me for a dance.
We had a great time until suddenly my stomach started to ache something awful. There was nothing else for it. We had to go home and the next day I was kept in bed. Guess it was the oysters.
While in that awful state my little dancing partner came along with a cup cake specially for me. He was adorable and I was in love. The sad part of this story is I never saw him again. Fortunately this all happened before I knew the curse of letting a boy touch you
Why are women made to feel guilty by men who enjoy making love to them? This aspect of human nature has puzzled me most of my life. Perhaps someone can answer why it is the way it is?
Why Sex Sells
Because no one in my family or at school ever talked about sex except to condemn those who partook of it my education was sadly lacking. When the realization came that it is a natural body function and that everything alive relates to it my brain still could not separate out the bad from the good.
My father talked about women who chased after men in a very derogatory fashion. He called them 'flusies' whatever that means, but he never called the boys any names. One day the term 'prostitute' stunned me. Women who sold their bodies for sex were apparently the most evil creatures on earth, according to some in society. It was unimaginable to me why they would do that?
It was years before my knowledge of this side of society reached maturity. But to this day, now a grandmother of six, not a single 'bad girl' has crossed my path known to me. But they were visible on the streets of the cities, especially at night. There they were on the edge of the footpath with their tiny skirts and big boobs doing everything they could to attract a driver to stop. Then another shock. Some work colleagues visited city brothels at lunch time.
Dostorted View of Sex
The slur that prevails
From my experience of most men it seems to me that the first thing they ever want from a girl is sex. To fight them off is sometimes a real struggle as they do not always take no for an answer. For a girl to remain untouched it is best not to have dates unless you really know the boy or man you are going out with and standards are set beforehand. Otherise you could risk being labeled a prostitute.
My assessment of prostitution at that time is so small that it probably would not even fill a paragraph but later on that changed as did my take on other things. Medical school was a massive jolt to one who had been so protected. It was many years later before things like 'homosexuality' became a topic of discussion. My views of such individuals is that they cannot help what they are. If you are born a woman with male tendencies, or vice versa, then how could you change that? You obviously cannot. But I still cannot see anything wrong in two people sharing a loving relationship. So why persecute anyone for that activity if it hurts no one? These are the dilemmas that tend to make sex evil on any basis.
Animals are observed performing homosexual acts with each other so it appears to be a normal thing. But it is mostly religion that states it is wrong although there are many homosexuals hiding behind the guise of a priest's garb. There are also many pedophiles and predators hiding there as well while the church openly protects them. This is the sex that is evil as young children, boys and girls are being victimised by those who others look up to.
If the church knows about it then other priests must tolerate it even though they preach against it. So how many 'innocent' priests are there in the Catholic Church and other religious bodies? Or anywhere else for that matter? Currently in Australia there are numerous court cases against priests, religious teachers, and school teachers going on, as well as against other pedophiles and predators. In Ireland the Catholic Church is also rocked by accusations and America has had its share in recent times as well. So is this sex evil? It is my view that it is far worse than any loving relationship between men and women or between same sex partners.
When in later years my research led me to uncover the origins of the bible and other religious books it became apparent that religion would not exist if there was no need for it and that need was created by misguided principles that target normal human behavior, such as sex. The need has to be created and protected. With sex one of the biggest influences in our lives it was easy for charges to be made against people to force them into the fold, and everyone involved was made to pay. It was women, of course, who bore the brunt of the ruse. It is they who have to be seen to be pure in order to be accepted while men have no sexual sins associated with them.
The Church forced people to marry within its doctrine and laws so that sex between couples is no longer evil. This to me is hypocritical from organisations that thrive on controlling human hormones.
Are You Embarrassed?
to speak openly about sex?
Why is Sex a Taboo Subject?
Is it because of religious dogma and marriage?
A Healthy Release of Pressure
When is it the right thing to do?
Like hunger or thirst the body has needs in other directions. Sex is one such need and an essential part of being alive. From time to time the body lets you know that it is time to release the pressure. This appears to happen more often for men than for women. One thing is for sure, however, that it happens to everyone unless they have no sexual organs or are suppressing their natural urges.
The purpose of being alive is to reproduce and to keep ourselves healthy for that purpose. It is against nature and God, therefore, to deny the body when the pressure builds. Some find the release through a sex partner, others, as we already know, can pay for it through prostitution but many get it through mechanical means, such as masturbation and using aids such as sex tools.
Because of my inhibitions it was beyond me to explore these instruments until recently when a merchant allowed me to sell his products. That's when being confronted with them for the first time it was in my interests to explore everything about them.
Many people are in a situation where they have no partner and are feeling sexual pressure but are at a loss how to release it with any degree of satisfaction. It is not something that we should do for pleasure alone but the sudden release of serotonin in the brain associated with orgasm is healthy. Changes in the serotonin levels in the brain can alter the mood. For example, medications that affect the action of serotonin are used to treat depression.
That means that sex is a healthy act that promotes a persons well being. Feeling good about oneself, the building of self-esteem, the promotion of happiness and good attitudes towards others can all result from a release of this hormone.
Depression Through Deprived Sex
Overcoming unhealthy inhibitions
"It's natural to feel down sometimes, but if that low mood lingers day after day, it could signal depression. Major depression is an episode of sadness or apathy that lasts at least two consecutive weeks and is severe enough to interrupt daily activities. Depression is not a sign of weakness or a negative personality. It is a major public health problem and a treatable medical condition." (Medicine.Net)
If avoiding the onset of depression is related to the release of sexual pressure and the outpouring of serotonin into the brain then there can be nothing wrong with manipulators. Even married couples, homosexuals, single people, divorcees and widows use them with ease and safety and some doctors recommend them to fix medical problems.
There are many varieties on the market and they all do different things. They can be stimulating and comforting and serve to promote health throughout the body. They are no different to using sugar in your coffee or to putting food in your mouth to satisfy hunger. In modern terms they are a major part of many people's lives which I am only now catching up on.
Should Sex be an Open Discussion - or should it be suppressed as though it doesn't exist
Are we in denial when we hide human sexualiality
Male and Female Equality
It's a question of balance
When it comes to sex many would think that men are way in front in that they can go anywhere for it and women will just fall into their arms. Nothing could be further from the truth, Many men cannot have an erection or, if they do, cannot maintain it That is why some aids are making millions for their manufacturer.
But such men can be helped by certain aids (Tantus Inc) which allow the penis to maintain a blood supply and, therefore, an erection for longer periods. They are readily available as bands that fit in the base of the organ.
Other instruments can be used in other ways and it is important to experiment with what suits you the best. These are for married couples to find greater fulfillment as well as singles and older folk.
This is not wrong and nor should it be hidden. Healthy sex should be discussed in the open and not buried as some religions and so called dogooders would have us do.
Do You Talk to Your Children?
about sex and other things?
Still images from Dreamstime - click here