- Personal Health Information & Self-Help
How to get rid of Swamp Ass
Swampass is a pain in the Butt
Whether you prefer to call it sweaty bum, wet tush, or monkey butt, you all know what I am referring to.
Regardless of what you call it, walking around with a wet butt is not only embarrassing, it is also highly uncomfortable.
Sweating is healthy to rid toxins and cool the body down but when it shows through your clothing and soaks your backside, this can cause chaffing, burning, itching, skin irritation and a sore bottom that does not cure easily.
When people have bowel movements and then wipe, this can further flare the irritation of the bum. This may lead to feelings of discomfort when sitting, exercising, and even walking. Furthermore, it can cause steady irritation even when swampass is not prevalent.
A lot of the time people get swampass when they are working. High temperatures and movement cause people to sweat. Normally, if someone is exercising they can wear loose clothing, shower, and change after they workout. Unfortunately, when working, people often get confined to wearing tight fitting clothing and are stuck wearing what they have on for at least eight to twelve hours.
So what is there left to do? Continue to walk around embarrassed and uncomfortable? Change clothes every few hours? Although changing clothes might help with the wet spot appearance, the person with the swampass will probably continue to work uncomfortably. The irritation of the butt may also continue for days afterwards.
Because this is such an embarrassing topic, most people tend to ignore talking about it.
Don't be a Behemoth, Fight Back!
1) First, what you thought was swampass could actually be something more serious. Although you might have a wet bottom from time to time, if you are in excruciating pain and discomfort (especially after a bowel movement), you may be suffering from an anal fissure, hemorrhoids, or a leaky bottom. There are over the counter medications that will provide relief, but if the problem persists and doesn’t seem to be going away, consult with your physician to have an exam scheduled.
2) Although hard to say, the best way to get rid of the uncomfortable condition of swampass is to lose weight. People that have an ideal body mass index tend to sweat less and have more room in-between their legs. More room means less rubbing and chaffing. Likewise, the less space between a person’s legs means more friction which creates more sweating.
You can also refer to a few of my hubs to help you lose weight from home:
3) The problem is the cause of moisture. Keep your bum clean by wiping with baby wipes after bowel movements. Afterwards, thoroughly dry the area with a dry piece of toilet paper or a towel. Afterwards, apply Gold Bond, cornstarch or regular baby powder. There are also commercial products like Anti-Monkey Butt that works well.
4) Although I mentioned above that movement causes sweating, sitting for long periods of time can also cause your bum to sweat due to lack of air circulation and heat. If you work at a desk or drive for long periods, take time to get up and stretch your legs. You may also want to use this time to dry your butt.
5) Prevent chaffing. Chaffing is caused by friction and continuous rubbing. If you are the victim of chaffing when working out or working hard at your job, apply a lubricant such as Vaseline or a commercial anti-friction product such as Body Glide.
6) If you are trying to heal a previous irritated area that is the result of chaffing, use calamine or ozonol when you are not working. This will aid in healing the affected area.
7) People sweat when they are hot so keep it cool. Be conscientious of drinking hot beverages such as coffee and tea as these can tend to make you sweat more. Consider an iced coffee and a cold shower after a workout.
8) Bowel schedules contribute to the problem and the solution. Eat a diet that is high in fiber or consider taking a fiber supplement like Benefiber. Consider adding bran, flax and other high fiber products to food. These help keep you regular and keep you from straining too much during bowel movements. And of course, clean the area well after. A bidet works well too.