How to deal with anger and ways to manage stress
I would like to start this hub on Anger and Stress Management with a quote, the Messenger of Allah,
Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) said:
“The strong man is not the one who can overpower others. Rather, the strong man is the one who controls himself when he gets angry.”
Therefore the effect for whoever does not curb his anger is that he or she will sooner or later feel its evil consequences. From experience we can all relate to the negative outcomes that can result from actions taken in anger.
Anger is a destructive emotion we all feel this emotion, as a fire which destroys our well-being, consumes our good actions, it works can repel our friends and family, in anger we often frighten our children and forces the angels to report bad actions for the Heavenly Records. This is a dangerous harsh road and no-one is wanting of it and it brings one close to the wrath of Allah.
It is because of this we must all look to control and manage our anger and its emotions. We all do get angry from time-to-time and that’s a normal part of life. Anger is a sign that we are not happy with a certain situation or condition that we may come across and that is not a bad emotion, however what is crucial here is the action we take when we feel this emotion of anger.
DIY anger management guides.
What is anger?
Feeling angry is part of being human, everyone experiences this emotion. It is a natural response to being placed in a position where we may find our self under attack, insulted, deceived or frustrated.
Anger can be useful if the emotions are controlled, but it can also be frightening in cases where the person loses control. When something or someone makes you angry, a chemical known as adrenalin is released which causes your body to prepare for “fight” or “flight”, giving you an energy boost and making you feel tense.
Releasing this energy and tension is good for you, but it can be difficult to do so in ways that are constructive especially when your judgement is blurred due to the emotions that result from anger. In most situations, fighting back or running away (fight or flight) isn’t helpful and anger can often lead to responses that make things worse rather than better.
“When you are angry, be silent” - Bukhari
Video on Anger Management
Causes of anger
There a many things that can cause one to get angry for example, imagine you are driving down the road, as you approach the side road another driver pulls out directly in front of you without any signals. Causing you to swerve to avoid a collision this action by the other driver would initiate your anger.
Now; what will be your reaction to this emotional build up? You may decide to ignore him after calling out a few names (let’s face it we all do that) and carry on driving or you could let your anger get the best of you and follow the other driver showing him all the hand gestures you can think of till he stops his car, you then walk out and teach him a thing or two.
Much like oxygen adds explosiveness to petrol, stress acts in the same way to anger. People who are already stressed tend to vent much quicker and generally cause more damage not only to themselves but to others by reacting in rage when anger is triggered.
Unfortunately there is not one single thing that causes anger in everyone. We are all not the same and react to life’s ups-and-downs in different ways.
Thinking Clearly in the Face of Anger - Shaykh Hamza Yusuf:
Controlling your anger
Whether your anger is about what is happening now or something that happened to you in the past, it can make you react in ways that you will regret later.
Therefore, it is important to learn to understand your anger – what causes it and also some techniques to limit the chances of it being expressed in a way that is damaging.
To start recognising your anger triggers you might find it helpful to keep a diary or notes about the times you have felt the urge to get angry over a situation. Think about the last time this happened and make notes on:
• What were the circumstances in which you felt the urge to get angry?
• Did someone say or do something to trigger your anger?
• How did you feel the very moment they put you in that situation?
• What was your reaction and how did you behave?
• Once you had reacted and the situation was over, how did you feel afterwards?
Just the act of recognising what triggers you to get angry can sometimes be enough to help, and you may feel that it’s something you can then work out for yourself. Allowing you to practice controlling your anger, as you will be able to identify when those triggers arise and react in a controlled way to minimise the effects.
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Ways to manage stress
Everyone talks about stress, and feeling stressed, usually we feel stress when we have too much to do and too much on our minds in terms of tasks to complete, or other people this could family, friends or work colleagues are making unreasonable demands on us, or it could be that we are required to deal with situations that we do not have control over.
There are many situations which are recognised to be very stressful sometimes just a simple change in our lives could result in stressing us out, and with lack of control over what is happening in our lives results in stress which can act as a catalyst to triggering anger over very minor situations.
If you find that your stress is caused by the pressure of being too busy and trying to complete too many priorities in a day, you will need to plan each day, with time for work and other tasks, you need time for relaxation. Making time for leisure, this does not have to be expensive just the idea of doing something different and less strenuous than the routine, exercise and taking time-out during holidays is just as crucial as spending time on work, business or home worries.
Always remember that experiencing a little stress is good for the body and alerts the mind. It is a way for us to take action. But it needs to be short-term and to be followed by a period of rest.