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The Fear Trap: What can you learn from scary situations?

Updated on September 19, 2013

About the fear trap

Did you ever experience fear or anxiety in your life? I bet you did! Almost every human being on this planet knows the feeling. Some people experience fearful emotions all the time, others not only sometimes. What you and I have in common is that we all know the experience(s) of being trapped by scary (or other negative) emotions! It took you over, you were overwhelmed, and it looked like a prison you couldn't escape from. But in the end you did! Otherwise you wouldn't be here!

Fear can be triggered by a lot of things. You don't need a disaster in your life to be afraid. You don't even need to be phobic to feel really scared. The Fear Trap is lurking for all of us all the time, everywhere. It is totally up to you whether or not to fall into it. If you fall into this scary trap, it's also up to you to escape and celebrate your victory! Or even better: you will come out as a better person! A new lesson learned, whether you like it or not. Fear is part of life, accept it! It will help you grow!

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Handling negative emotions can be a challenge!
Handling negative emotions can be a challenge!

Handling your emotions

Are you a winner or a victim?

We are human beings and able to make our own choices! People like you and me are supposed to think rational and we often do. On the other hand you have your emotions and they can be so complicated! Sometimes they take over your life. Examples are emotions like fear, anger, anxiety and even love. Have you ever been in love? Then you most certainly recognize that love took over your brain. You weren't able to think rational anymore. Love is a strong emotion. And so is fear. The only difference is that love is a positive emotion and fear a negative one.

When it comes to negative emotions the good news is, that for instance fear, is possible to handle. Or does this sound to good to be true to you? It isn't! In 99% of the cases you can learn how to manage your unwanted, negative emotions. Only in very rare situations they keep on dominating someones life.

Fact is that bad feelings and emotions are part of life. You will be confronted with them from time to time. But the way you handle them makes a huge difference! You can be a winner instead of a victim. I dare you to continue reading, it might change your point of view in a pleasant way. It might even change your life. Or at least a part of it!

Photo Credit: paperblog.com

Feel Safe and Loved - Louise Hay Guided Meditation

Overcoming Fears
Overcoming Fears

Louise Hay is my favorite teacher. She's the author of many wonderful books on self growth and how to heal areas in your life that trouble you.

This wonderful Audio CD is a meditation filled with positive statements, also known as affirmations, to help you find inner peace and overcome your fear(s). Feel safe and loved in this guided meditation. The world is a secure place. If you change the way you think and feel you'll feel so much better. Listening to this CD helps you with that big time!

 

How I fell into the fear trap myself... - I'm only human too!

The Fear Trap: the choice is yours!
The Fear Trap: the choice is yours!

What happened

Situations like this can happen to anyone and be triggered by thousands of situations.

In my case it was meeting a strange man just outside my apartment. It was in the evening. I came home after walking my dogs. I am disabled and use a walker, I tie my dogs to it and we walk, a perfect system. There was a man at the door. He rang at the neighbors apartment. I had just opened the door and he wanted to come in as well, but I told him to wait for my neighbor to open it. I didn't know him, that is why. There are a lot of creepy people on the streets who'd love to break in houses or have other bad intentions, so I am careful. The stranger didn't like it at all that I refused to let him in. I felt a lot of negative energy. At last my neighbor opened the door. I was busy in the hallway to untie my dogs from my walker.

This man came in but waited. I told him: "You can pass and go up the stairs". He said 'no'. I didn't understand and asked him why. Then he pointed at my dogs. "Are you afraid of dogs?" I asked him. "No but dogs are dirty so go upstairs, hurry up". Now I was getting a bit upset. I am not able to run up the stairs! So I told him I couldn't do that and that dogs are not dirty at all! I also said that it was bit stupid to think that. I didn't mean that last one wrong, but the man got mad at me! I repeated he should go up the stairs or else close the door and wait outside.

"Then hold the dogs", he snapped at me...

I told him I would and that there was nothing to be afraid of. He walked to the stairs and all of the sudden this man kicked my youngest dog! I was furious! How dare he do that. He shouted nasty language at me while he climbed up the stairs.

Photo Credit: smilepls.com

Vitamine C helps!

Fighting fear fact:

Did you know that Vitamin C lowers your stress hormones within 15 minutes?

Acceptance is the key to overcoming fear
Acceptance is the key to overcoming fear

From overwhelmed by fear to calm and balanced!

How you can do this too!

I was totally upset when I closed the front door of my own apartment behind me. And I was afraid. The negative energy of this man and his sudden aggression towards my dog made me fall into the fear trap. I tried to calm down but had a hard time doing that. I was afraid of irrational things like: would he come back and show more aggression, would he break my window or door, would he do whatever, kill my dogs, etc... All those kind of irrational thoughts went through my mind. And so my fearful emotions multiplied by the minute. My heartbeat was raising, it was terrible!

It is like it is

After hours getting more and more upset I managed to think straight again and breathe normally. I tried to accept the situation as it was, even in the worst case scenario (him coming back for me). As I did this I also accepted there would be not much I could do to stop it, so it wouldn't make sense at all to be afraid. It is like it is. As I did this I felt peace, it might sound strange, but it happened. And this was a wise lesson I learned!

Photo Credit: depositphotos.com

Bach Rescue Remedy Pet, 20 ml
Bach Rescue Remedy Pet, 20 ml

Rescue Remedy also works great for pets. I use it for my dogs around New Years Eve, as they are afraid of the fireworks. For them it works wonderful too. This is a special Rescue Remedy for pets, so don't use your own on them. The pet edition is especially for your pups or cats! I have even used it for a bunny I had after he went into surgery. He was in shock and 30 minutes after I gave some drops to him he started to relax and soon felt 100% perfect again.

 

How to overcome any fear!

A great strategy to overcome whatever fear you face in life. It works! I did it myself with great results!

Take Control Over Your Fear(s)!

From Panic to Power: Proven Techniques to Calm Your Anxieties, Conquer Your Fears, and Put You in Control of Your Life
From Panic to Power: Proven Techniques to Calm Your Anxieties, Conquer Your Fears, and Put You in Control of Your Life

All proven techniques described in this book are used by the author (Lucinda Bassett) herself to overcome her own problems. She suffered from anxiety disorder and knows from first hand what it's like to feel fearful.

A wonderful self-help book which has become a great bestseller (over 72000 hardcover copies sold!).

Free yourself with the proven techniques and tips in this great book!

 

Embrace your fear... - Acceptance is the key to overcoming your fear!

What is your biggest fear?
What is your biggest fear?

No matter what you are afraid of, no matter how big or small your fear is, to overcome it you must accept it as it is.

Say "Hi" to your fear instead of fighting it. Fighting fear makes it only worse. If you can manage to accept it, you already started to climb out of the fear trap. If you ever experience a very fearful/scary situation and you recognize what is happening, remember to calm down, stop fighting and start accepting until you can think clear and experience peace. Breathing in and out helps as well. Or maybe you like other nice things like music, candles, reading a book, affirmations, etc. Whatever makes you feel good.

Create good vibes!

Accepting fear is like saying "no" to be overwhelmed by it. You take back control. When you fight your fear you have no control at all unless you're a Master in martial arts or so... If you fight fear the fear will always be stronger than you! It is like a never ending fight. A fight you simply can't win.

By stating to yourself you accept the situation as it is, no matter what happens, you become a winner.

You can do this! Yes you can! You need to practice of course and perhaps you might not succeed the first time, but don't give up! Practicing this strategy will in the end be successful. It takes time and effort. Take all the time you need. It is not a contest. Don't feel bad if you can't make it the first time. Keep in mind that in the end you will win, unless you give up. It 100% up to you!

Don't give up! You will be the winner!

Don't give up!
Don't give up!

You will win and be able to get out of the fear trap! You don't need medication and/or expensive therapy sessions.

A fearful situation will become a pleasant challenge. You will become a stronger person at last, I promise you! When you get more and more experienced in Mastering your fear, you will reach a point where you will smile when you meet this emotion. Like saying "Hi" to your ex-boy/girlfriend and realizing you don't want him/her in your life anymore.

This strategy sounds simple and it is once you Master it. Keep on trying to reach that point. You can do this. No matter how big your fear is. No matter what causes it. Forget about those things. Work on it right now. It is all you have, the present moment. The past is behind you, the future not there yet. You create your future right now with every thought and emotion that goes through your mind.

We all want balance, we all want to feel good. Let's welcome the challenging situations and learn from them, not fight them. Good luck to you, let me know how you manage your emotions, share your success stories or challenges. I invite you to ask questions and give feed back. Life is beautiful!

Photo Credit: wpwebsitesdone4u.com

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Unique wall paper as a great reminder!

I love this great wall paper, it is a perfect reminder for you, can be used on the wall of your choice, for teens and adults!

Did you like this Lens? Feel free to ask questions, share your story, express yourself... Have a blessed day!

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    • darkflowers profile image
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      Anja Toetenel 4 years ago from The Hague, the Netherlands

      @Cally18: Thank you so much, Carolinew1, for your lovely and kind comment. I'm glad this Lens helped you. You're definitely not alone, we often think we're the only one, but we aren't! Good luck with writing your plan. Be safe and conquer your irrational fear(s) with love. Thank you for sharing your thoughts!

    • darkflowers profile image
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      Anja Toetenel 4 years ago from The Hague, the Netherlands

      @MarathonRunning: Thank you for your kind words, MarathonRunning! I appreciate it!

    • MarathonRunning profile image

      Martina 4 years ago from Croatia, Europe

      I enjoyed in this Lens. You gave so many useful tips and techniques and everything is so nice, clear & helpful.

      Thank you!

    • Cally18 profile image

      Cally18 4 years ago

      I'm sorry about what happened with that man and I want to say that the thought process you went through happens to me a lot ; in a way I'm glad to hear that I'm not the only one. Your lens has helped with my current fear. I'll be writing a plan to keep myself safe first and then go and conquer the irrational fear which never bothered me before. It's only my thoughts that are stopping me. Thanks for writing this :)

    • darkflowers profile image
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      Anja Toetenel 4 years ago from The Hague, the Netherlands

      @DANCING COWGIRL: You're absolutely right! Thanks for commenting!

    • DANCING COWGIRL profile image

      Dancing Cowgirl Design 4 years ago from Texas

      A little bit of fear now and then might be a good thing so that we may appreciate the calm and safe feelings in our lives.

    • darkflowers profile image
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      Anja Toetenel 4 years ago from The Hague, the Netherlands

      @Minoru10: You're welcome Minoru! Thank you for your like and kind comment!

    • Minoru10 profile image

      Michael Yoshinaka 4 years ago from Honolulu, Hawaii

      Great subject. Thank you for the great info.

    • darkflowers profile image
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      Anja Toetenel 4 years ago from The Hague, the Netherlands

      @MBurgess: Thank you Ria! And yes, Vitamin C is a great natural stress reliever!

    • darkflowers profile image
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      Anja Toetenel 4 years ago from The Hague, the Netherlands

      @SteveKaye: Thank you, Steve!

    • profile image

      SteveKaye 4 years ago

      Wonderful, helpful lens. Thank you.

    • MBurgess profile image

      Maria Burgess 4 years ago from Las Vegas, Nevada

      This is great info, Anja! I didn't know about the vitamin C for panic. Very helpful lens!

    • darkflowers profile image
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      Anja Toetenel 4 years ago from The Hague, the Netherlands

      @TransplantedSoul: Absolutely, it can be our best teacher on our way to growing stronger, our inner growth levels up when we face and overcome our fear(s). Thanks for your like and kind comment!

    • TransplantedSoul profile image

      TransplantedSoul 4 years ago

      Fear can be an awful feeling, but like you say, it can be leveraged to achieve greater results.

    • darkflowers profile image
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      Anja Toetenel 4 years ago from The Hague, the Netherlands

      @Dave Lynch: Thank you for your kind words! And yes, fear can be very overwhelming when it controlls you. That's why it is so important to overcome fear! Wishing you lots of peace and happiness!

    • Dave Lynch profile image

      David Edward Lynch 4 years ago from Port Elizabeth, South Africa

      Thanks for this lens. I think sometimes when one is sick and remains sick for a long period of time then fear can become overwhelming.

    • darkflowers profile image
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      Anja Toetenel 4 years ago from The Hague, the Netherlands

      @shellys-space: Hehehehe, it will! Nobody likes to be afraid, but with growing comes some pain. Thanks for your visit and likes!

    • shellys-space profile image

      Shelly Sellers 4 years ago from Midwest U.S.A.

      While I don't like being afraid, I know this too will pass :)

    • darkflowers profile image
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      Anja Toetenel 4 years ago from The Hague, the Netherlands

      @josietook: Thank you for your kind words!

    • josietook profile image

      josietook 4 years ago

      Great lens, thank you for sharing your story.

    • darkflowers profile image
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      Anja Toetenel 4 years ago from The Hague, the Netherlands

      @DtKnight: I don't hope for you that day will come but better be prepared than scared ;-) Thanks for your visit!

    • profile image

      DtKnight 4 years ago

      I don't know when my next scary situation will be but I'll definitely keep your words of wisdom in my when that day comes!

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      Anja Toetenel 4 years ago from The Hague, the Netherlands

      @sunlightseer: *Blushing* Thank you! :)

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      Anja Toetenel 4 years ago from The Hague, the Netherlands

      @wheresthekarma: Thank you! Big hug!

    • wheresthekarma profile image

      wheresthekarma 4 years ago

      Great lens, so many people don't realize how incapacitating fear and anxiety can be! Great steps to take back to better health :)

    • sunlightseer profile image

      sunlightseer 5 years ago

      There are many small steps to master. You are taking the right ones. Very good advice, great lens.

    • darkflowers profile image
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      Anja Toetenel 5 years ago from The Hague, the Netherlands

      @shewins: Thank you! It was a very scary situation indeed!

    • shewins profile image

      shewins 5 years ago

      That does sound scary, I don't blame you for being fearful. I'm glad that you are OK and that you are no longer afraid.