The Key to Happiness
The Key to Happiness
Life is a precious commodity.
Everyone of us deserves to be happy but many of us are not. In this lens, I hope to have you look at your own life, make whatever adjustments you need to make and in doing do, make a step towards being happy.
This is just one of several self-improvement lenses which I wrote. By clicking on AlF's photo on the upper right side of this page, you can see a list of all the lenses i wrote.
Happiness is really a state of mind as I think this lens will show.
This lens has received a Purple Star.
These stars are awarded from nominations within the Squidoo community when members feel a lens is of very high quality. I am happy to say that this lens received its Purple Star in April, 2011 and has been improved several times since then.
Does The Key Always Work ?
Nope unless you are clinically insane in which case then answer might very well be yes.
For most of us, the key I am about to give you a duplicate of, will work most of the time. Due to the climatic environment around you, there will be days you will have to jiggle the key and other days, no matter what you do - the key will not undo the lock.
No doubt you have figured out already that this is a light-hearted approach to a more serious subject. And that, my friend is one aspect of the key.
Let's break it down into the modules you will find below. I also will be giving you links that should help you arrive to the same spot in the road where I find myself. When you do get there - walk beside me. Do not walk behind me because I have already got you to where I am and I don't plan to lead you any further. And don't walk in front of me, because I have never really followed anyone and I don't plan to start now !!!
Don't Worry - Be Happy
Yes, I know - easier said then done. But worrying over things , especially those you have no control over, only induces stress and you are the one who induced it.
Keep an inner faith that there is a purpose to your life - that there is a Big Guy up there who is watching over you and your life is evolving as He intended it to.
As soon as there is a problem in your life that you can and must take control of - do so quickly, bury the problem and move on. If you have no control over the problem, then just respond as best you can,. In some cases, you will be able to say the heck with it (or a more decorative phrase). Some people worry about dying - the heck with worrying about that - you can't change it. Better to think what lies beyond and what an adventure that will be. And should you no longer exist after you die - you won't be aware of it anyway. So why worry about it?
No matter what your lot is in life, be grateful for whatever positive things you have. Regard your life as one which is in the middle of the pack. There are close to 7 billion of us on this planet - not one of us is the same and hence, no two lives are the same. And we all have had good periods and bad but tempt not fate by complaining of the current life you have.
Think about this way: At the moment you are not working under the hot sun in a rice field in Cambodia earning $1.50 US a day. Maybe you'd rather be in Iraq dodging bullets and bombs. Things could be worse - a lot worse..
I never got to know my daughter beyond her first birthday. Forces outside my control created a void in my heart. I shall never see her again because she committed suicide just before her 21st birthday (I go into this in depth in my lens entitled "Self-Destructive Behaviour). Still, I am most grateful for the life I have. I have a spouse who is open, honest and caring. She is my friend and intellectual equal. We spend 95% of our time together and fighting between us is a very rare event. I am blessed that she is a part of my life.
Carry No Liabilities - Especially Emotional Ones
We all make mistakes but only some make amends. No one is perfect - we all do things that we regret. The important thing here is that we make amends to those whom we did an injustiice to. It might have been something you said - perhaps it was something you did or didn't do.
We have a neighbour who was very spiteful toward our chestnut tree because of the sap and falling chestnuts in the fall. Like, the tree has been there ever since he purchased his porperty 50 years ago. In any event, we love our chestnut tree and certainly had to intentions of chopping it down just to appease him. One day, he received a medical diagnosis that he was dying from cancer. He called my wife over to the fence and made "peace" with her. He is one of the wise ones - never leave this earth if you have negative emotional baggage with someone else. Once someone dies, no matter how much you would like to say you were sorry for what you said or did - at that point, it is too late. Funny things is our neighbour is still alive.
It is best to carry as little emotional baggage as you can in life. Make your apologies while you still can and in so doing, you shall find that your "burden of living" will have been lightened.
I truly believe that negative thought attracts negative events. That is why I (for the most part) try to accentuate the positive. Life can change on a dime - live for the moment and be grateful for it. One other thing worth thinking about - negative emotions can turn into a malady within one's physical body. There are many instances in which cancers are attributed to grief, guilt, remorse and other emotions which have not been properly dealt with. Negative emotions and thought can not only make you miserable - it can end your life prematurely.
I guess this is as good a time as any to mention another one of my lenses - The Dangers of Non-Communication, Problem Avoidance and Suppressed Emotions. To find any of my lenses - just click on my handsome face in the upper right corner of this page. You should then find a list of the 80 or so lenses that I have written.
Listen to your Inner Voice
Outside advice is not always good
Sometimes we ask people their opinions of what we should do. Sometimes that can be good - other times, not so.
The bottom line here is that you and only you, knows what is best for you. What you need to do is listen to the inner voice inside of you and follow what that and your hearts tells you.
That is the only sure way of doing what is best for you. Many people will tell you what you should do and though they are trying to be helpful, sometimes they can cause you more problems than if you had ignored their advise.
Nobody can lead your life for you or make decisions for you. It is you who must do that. You will not find happiness by running to others or riding on their coat-tails.
A lot of frustration is self-induced. You try to do something which you are unable to do - so why bother? You're trying to change the taps on the bathroom sink - and you are getting angry because you can't figure out how to do it without drowning. So, make a few phones calls and find a friend or professional to do it for you. You don't need the frustration.
You must know some people who frustrate the hell out of you every time you talk to them. So STOP talking to them - avoid them - that's simple isn't it?
Getting a Good Night's Sleep
Yeah - like as if I knew anything about this as I write this at 3 AM in the morning.
One thing that does work - maybe I should start doing it again - play music or nature sounds while you sleep. NO - not Iron Butterfly, Jefferson Airplane or Led Zeppelin - are you stupid or what? - try New Age Musicians such as Llewellyn, Cusco or others (e-mail me for a list email@example.com) . Also the best nature sounds are thunderstorms, surf, rainfall, owls hooting, cries of coyotes (seriously) and of course, the blowing wind. Listening to snow fall is NOT a good idea.
On the Importance of Being Kind
We should try to be kind to others when we can - it is a positive ego booster and it also makes someone else happy. Certainly when one is kind to you - you should do something to reciprocate that kindness.
About 10 years ago, we spent Christmas in Montreal. While we scurried about from subway to subway and street to street, we encountered many street people, We came prepared. We had acquired a stash of small little chocolate bars from the $ store. No big deal really but we did hand them out as we encountered those folks who somehow slid down to the bottom rungs of our society. For the most part, they were gracious and happy to get that little gift for Xmas. It, I believe, made them feel that they were still a part of society and had not been completely turned away. It made us feel good and really what did we do - not much at all.
Recently we bought a cottage in a small village about 40 miles from Halifax. We wondered how we "newcomers" would fit in.
One day, I went down to one of the local fishing wharves and asked it I could buy some fish. I was told I couldn't and I began thinking "Oh boy, here comes a fight now". What he in effect was saying was that he was not going to sell me some fish - he was going to give me some, That was most kind and he could have easily said a few bucks and I would not have blinked an eye. It took me over a month to find him again and when I did, I had 2 cans of beer to reward him for his kindness.
The importance of being kind to one another cannot be overemphasized.
Stay Positive - chances are you will live longer ...
- Attitudes: key to Health, Happiness & Longevity
Attitudes: key to Health, Happiness & Longevity
Less Coffee - More Beer
I find that most people drink too much coffee and not enough beer. Coffee is a stimulant and after a couple of cups a day, you might find yourself "wired" more so than being just awake and alert.
Now for me - I try to chug-down 2 cases of beer per day. That's a joke ... Jack! Usually I will have 2 beer per day in the summer and down to just 1 beer per day in the winter, Beer acts as a flushing agent and helps keep the body tuned up. Think of it the same was as you would oil for your car.
Oh yes ..this lens is about being happy. Now, if you did down 6 or more beer at a given time - you probably would be happy ....for a while. You might not be so happy come the next morning.
As for tea, beats me. I don't drink much tea and therefore can't comment much about it. I suspect it's affects are similar to that of coffee. Partake of the things that give you pleasure - all in moderation of course.
Counting any midday naps along with your regular sleep time, I wonder how much the average person sleeps per day.
How many hours of sleep do you get each day?
4 other Self-Help lenses by me
The Dangers of Non-Communication, Problem Avoidance and Suppressed Emotions
This lens is written from my own personal experiences and is here in the hopes that it will help others. Those that already know me on Squidoo will realize ...
Attitude, Perceptions and Understanding Yourself
Too many people don't realize that. They would rather blame others and wallow in self-pity. Though we cannot control all situations that happen to us, much ...
Self Destructive Behaviour
Many people have self destructive behaviour which not only hurts them but also those around them. This behaviour destroys oneself, one's family and causes em...
Self-Help Lenses - Mine and Others
I put this lens together so that it could be a one page resource to many different self-help and personal improvement lenses. This page will include religio...
Sounds that will relax you ...
Have a Dream or Two
No, I don't mean while you are sleeping. I mean when you are awake !!!
(You are really making it difficult for me to give you a duplicate of my key)
Always have goals in your life - ones that are attainable . For me, one of my goals is to see Machu Picchu in Peru and with a little effort on my part, I should be able to get there. Without goals, your life lacks purpose and direction. You will "bog-down" and eventually become bored and that's just one step before getting depressed. Deep depression can lead to suicidal thoughts - I know because I have been there and lost my daughter that way.
You don't want to find yourself that far off the path to happiness. Make sure you have some goals and dreams for you really are nothing without them. Even if it's just to have a nice grilled cheese sandwich later on in the day - it is something to look forward to and it is those things which keep us going.
Be Happy !!!Click thumbnail to view full-size
Busy Busy Busy Time vs Free Open Time
I believe that keeping yourself busy is a key to avoid being bored because when you are bored, your are not happy. Of course, you need time to relax but you also need to be busy with work, helping others, personal projects,etc.
Busy time is Committed Time and Free Time is Relaxing Time.
The perfect balance is different for each of us.
What % of your time each day is Committed Time?
My Coach and Me
She's a Great Coach but we are a bit different. While our philosophies are somewhat compatible - our approaches are different. She is mainly serious with a side-order approach of corn flakes - whereas I am Corn Flakes with a side-order of seriousness.
She's a tomato where I am a tomatoe and she's a potato where I am a potatoe. Oh heck - let's call the whole thing off !!!
Actually I expect a job offer from her to be her Personal Assistant but that's not possible unless she wants to pay my expenses to travel back and for the from Canada to the USA every week.
Oh ...One More Thing ... The less debt you have, the less worries and hence more happiness.
Try not to incur much debt and decrease the debt you have. The quicker you do that, the better.
Some Links to Help Improve One's Life
I think this is the most uplifting poem ever written. We need to remind ourselves of this poem on a frequent basis - it can really give us the strength to continue when we find ourselves in an emotional storm.
This link will give you 3 versions of a very soothing and thought provoking poem.
- My Earlier Articles (written under the name Sakamato)
Here are some of my previous writings. These were written shortly after learning of my daughter's death by suicide.
- Don't Cry if You Don't Try.
An inspirational short story to get you off your butt - stop dreaming about doing something. It's a waste of energy - use the energy and just go and DO IT.
- Happiness Is An Attitude, NOT A Situation
Happiness Is An Attitude, NOT A Situation
- Ideas on How to be Happy
Ideas on How to be Happy
- How to Become a Happy Person
How to Become a Happy Person
- What happiness means to me.
What happiness means to me.
- What is Happiness for You?
What is Happiness for You?
- What Makes People Happy?
What Makes People Happy?
- The Emotion Machine
The Emotion Machine
Nice Music Videos
What's Next ?
I plan to add more info soon which I hope will make your life a little happier. That is on of my goals in life - to bring a little happiness into someone else's. So stay tuned as I am not finished yet and God hasn't finished with me either. Any complaints so far - if so, contact God as he is the one responsible for my existence - not me.