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The Truth About Self Esteem and How to Raise It!

Updated on May 12, 2008

The Root of All Evil


Imagine a world in which every person has healthy self esteem, confidence and self worth.

Here's why I believe that low self esteem is at the root of almost all issues, problems and "evil". Let's start from the individual and move out, since that is how life works.

One child is taught to put others before himself he is taught the feelings of others are more important than his own. He is spoken to with disrespect. His parents are so focused on survival and their own issues, they don't smile or look pleased when they see him. He feels misunderstood because the significant adults in his life don't take the time to REALLY listen to him. Misunderstandings have (on more than a couple of occasions) resulted in punishment and scolding for things that were not his fault, or over which he had no control.

Here are the beliefs that are most likely to be programmed into the child before he even reaches his teen years: "I am not worthy. I am not interesting enough. I am not as important or valuable as others. I am useless." Because these beliefs are subconscious it is unlikely they'll ever be discovered unless that child is lucky enough to benefit from therapy or a self development modality that uncovers them.

The symptoms, however, will be painfully evident. Unfortunately they won't be recognised as symptoms, they will be seen as problems, issues and evils in their own right.

Combine this child's experience so far, with lack of consistent sufficient sleep, and you have a child who, in school, is unable to concentrate resulting in frequently appearing to misbehave (it's often not that he's deliberately going against instructions, it's that his brain was unable to focus enough to either hear and register the instructions or to understand them). Unfortunately the child himself has no idea that this is the case, and simply doesn't know why he is "naughty". The combination of low self worth already thriving in him, along with lack of enough sleep, can also be the reason he's not interested in (or is "bad" at) sport.

So, we now have a child whose self esteem dives even lower due to the experience of being "hopeless" in school and in sport - a fact that is made out to be his fault, but which is clearly out of his own control.

This child grows into an adult who has one or more of the following issues resulting directly from a basic program of low self worth and low self esteem: No matter what he does, he seems incapable of making enough money; he always seems to be in relationships that are unhealthy in one way or another; he struggles to find, or succeed in, a career he enjoys and for which he is fairly rewarded; any business he attempts fails. I'm sure you can see how low self esteem and self worth can result in unconscious patterns of undeserving, resentment, self-sabotage, aggression, and attempting to put others down in order to feel better himself.

I believe that most, if not all, "evil" carried out by human beings is the result of a basic drive to feel better about oneself. To those of us with high moral standards that may sound ridiculous, but here's an example: A man attacks another for no apparent reason other than just being evil. The result he's looking for is to feel better about himself. Attacking someone else may make him feel that he's "stronger", or he may have released some of the mental pain he has, or he may have released frustration, or he may feel superior. He feels better now than he did before. He feels above at least one person -- his victim.

A teenage girl cuts herself. The result she's looking for: to feel better. The pain from the cut distracts (at least temporarily) from the pain of what is going on emotionally or mentally.

Imagine the child mentioned earlier, growing up with healthy self esteem and self worth. He's confident that he's interesting and valuable, and a good person because his parents' faces light up when he enters the room.

He now has a subconscious belief that he lights up a room when he enters it -- which is why, as an adult, he WILL light up a room when he enters it. He gets enough sleep consistently and eats reasonably healthily enabling him to focus in school and to function at his best, with plenty of energy and coordination ability in sport. Watch that self esteem and confidence climb!

The adult that child becomes has no need to pull others down in order to feel better. He is emotionally self-sufficient. He is programmed to know that he deserves, and therefore he automatically creates for himself, a fulfilling life including healthy choices in relationships, finances and career. He's comfortable giving to, and doing for, others because he is confident and fulfilled himself. He knows that when someone else receives, it takes nothing away from him.

Can you imagine a whole generation growing up with healthy self esteem and self worth? Can you imagine those people running countries and businesses? Can you imagine a world where each person feels so secure in themselves that they feel no threat from others doing well; where each person feels secure enough to build for themselves, the life they want, doing what they enjoy; where each person is capable of making themselves financially secure and building healthy relationships; and where each person is relaxed and secure enough to show love to others without feeling vulnerable.

I believe that low self esteem is the root of all evil.

On this page, I will share with you, some of the resources and tools that have helped me.

Please use the Comments Box at the bottom of this page to ask and questions or to request help.

Love and Light and Magic xxx

The Magic Pill

Just over a year ago, I was discussing with my sister, my frustration at the issues I seemed to have with money. No matter how hard I worked, or how careful I was, I seemed to have some kind of block against money, and was always lacking in it.

My sister pointed out that I must have low self esteem. I pooh-pooh'd that idea at first because I believed I had healthy self esteem and confidence - until my sister said "If you had High Self Esteem, why would you be creating lack for yourself?" Wow! That really made sense!

So I started focusing on my self esteem. I started becoming aware of the way in which I spoke to myself, and the way in which I taught others how to treat me.

During my journey over the following month or so, I discovered a new way of thinking which Automatically raises Self Esteem. I put the information into two little ebooks (only about 8 pages each), called "The Magic Pill" and "The Second Dose". They're both free because I feel that this information is something that everyone knows deep down - they just need reminding. :)

You can find the links to download free copies of both ebooks under "Further Resources" below.

Tips For Raising Your Self Esteem

Here are a few tips for raising Self Esteem.

* Treat yourself as you would someone you love who is going through a tough time. Most of us are so well-programmed for low self esteem and low self worth that we are incapable of even imagining being good to ourselves. It helps to compare the way you treat yourself, with the way you treat other people you love.

* Remember, for High Self Esteem you only need your OWN approval, acceptance, acknowledgement and love - you only need those things from Yourself, not from others. If you develop those positive feelings and attitudes about yourself, you Automatically see them mirrored in other people! We teach others how to treat us.

* Read The Magic Pill Ebooks - they're free, and very simple to put into practice immediately.

* Give yourself the gift of Sleep. Sleep is Magical! It enables your body and mind to heal and work through problems. Depriving yourself of sleep can be a symptom of low self worth. Prioritize it!

* Paths Self Esteem Module. This is a new technology that delivers instructions and cues directly to the subconscious. It is the most effective tool I've found for raising Self Esteem. My family and I have all used it and experienced brilliant results. For more information, there is a link below under "Further Resources".

* Laugh. This is something I recommend anyway - for anything. Laughter triggers an increase in "feel-good" chemicals produced in the brain. It increases Seratonin, and can do amazing things for your immune system as well as your state of mind. Watch funny movies, read funny books, find funny stuff online.


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      8 years ago

      Hi Kate :)

      I'm sorry to hear this. It's the first time I've heard anything negative about the Magic Pill ebooks. In what way did your life and thinking get worse, and in what way do you feel it's because of reading the books?

      Love and Light and Magic xxx

    • profile image

      Kate Gladstone 

      8 years ago

      As I read and applied THE MAGIC PILL and THE SECOND DOSE, my life and thinking became far, far worse. Therefore, I stopped. Now I need something to make my life and thinking at least as good as they were before I made the mistake of reading these books. Any suggestions?

    • profile image

      Kate Gladstone 

      8 years ago

      As I read and applied THE MAGIC PILL and THE SECOND DOSE, my life and thinking became far, far worse. Therefore, I stopped. Now I need something to make my life and thinking at least as good as they were before I made the mistake of reading these books. Any suggestions?


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