WHY I AM CHOOSING UNASSISTED BIRTH
I have given birth before. Just once and in a hospital. I was younger back then and very uneducated about birth. I was unhealthy, but mentally strong. I knew I could give birth, and I did. I had pain drugs, epidural at 7 cm, episiotomy, IV, fetal monitoring, and a bunch of different nurses. The CNM didn't come in at all until it was... time to push... I thought, wow, what an easy job she has...Well I gave birth to that baby. Not the drugs, nurses, numbing, monitoring, or the midwife. I did it. And now I am going to do it again, just this time it is going to be totally different.
I will be completely assisted by only myself and my man. I have done it before, and no one and no thing helped me. I fucking did it. I even had to cope with several different nurses watching me, the effects of narcotics, being attached to a machine, and being in a hospital. I still did it. Giving birth from your vagina in a hospital is like making love in front of people that are getting paid to make sure you do it right. Women don't know enough about birth, and that is why many women choose to give birth with an assistant (hospital, birth center, or home birth assistant). Well, not me, I know a lot about birth and I feel 100% comfortable with it – so comfortable, in fact, that I don't want an assistant. I don't need an assistant. I will even go as far as saying that most women don't need an assistant. I will even say that most of the time women give birth by themselves with a bunch of unnecessary assistance. I have been in midwifery school for the last 4 years. I am realizing more and more that women don't need midwives to give birth. This is why I am choosing free birth.
I want to labor in my back yard. I want to feel completely uninhibited, just like when my man is inside me and I can't help squeezing him. I want my body to open up with big waves of baby making energy. I don't want any vaginal exams. I don't want any blood pressure readings. I don't want a midwife there. I thought that I did want a midwife, in the beginning. I was going to buy a midwife for the birth of this child. We even went to three prenatal appointments. She is a nice lady, but I really don't know her that well. I would never make love in front of her. When I thought about possibly going unassisted, it felt right. I imagined the birth with her there, then I imagined the birth without her there. Without her there I felt I would be free to be completely me and do completely as I need, with no inhibitions.
Free birth is my right. I am healthy, I have the knowledge, so I really do not need anyone to deliver my baby. I am a woman. I was built for this moment. I was made to make love and give birth as I wish, free and unhindered by others. And so I will! I will write about free birth, and I will teach about free birth until the day that I die.