NOTHING ABOUT BIRTH IS SCARY
Pregnancy and birth are completely normal, just like love making. A woman who eats good, takes care of herself well mentally, physically, emotionally, and has a good connection with her inner guidance can birth her children completely alone and/or with her mate. Women are built to birth. Most women go to the hospital to have their babies, and successfully, which is amazing considering what can and does happen in hospitals. Since I have been studying birth I have realized how intimate and amazing baby making is. We need to feel safe, secure, and totally comfortable in our birth settings for it to go smoothly.
When we are giving birth our primal brains take over. Our logical brain is on vacation, so you may think that a hospital is a safe and comfortable place to have a child, because there they have everything you need to have a baby. Well let me tell you that no one but you has everything you need to have a baby. You have it. It is within you at all times. It is not scary, your body was built to gently open, and make way for the life inside of you to join us on earth. You have all it takes to bring a baby into this world.
I am going to tell you about comfort during labor and birth. It has nothing to do with vaginal exams, blood pressure readings, narcotics, or fetal monitoring. Comfort during labor and birth has to do with how comfortable you are with what is happening in your body and where you are.
You really need to know about the process of labor and birth. Knowledge about first stage, second stage, and third stage of birth can bring you comfort. Learn about how a woman's body adapts and changes to cope with birth. It is amazing! And literally NO fucking drugs/nurses or (I will go this far) midwives watching you helps. All of that just interferes. You need to know about birth so that you are not scared of it. It is completely normal and easy, you have nothing to fear. Go read some books! A few suggestions of mine to help develop a since of confidence in childbirth are; Ina May's Guide to Childbirth, by Ina May Gaskin, Primal Mothering in a Modern World, by Hygeia Halfmoon, Unassisted Childbirth, by Laura Kaplan Shanley, Painless Childbirth an empowering journey through pregnancy and birth, by Guiditta Tornetta, and Blissful Birth the handbook, by Julia Wilson.
Where you are during the birth of your child is a huge factor in your comfort level. We all know what you get when you go to the hospital to have a baby, so I am not going to talk about it. I am going to talk about what you get when you stay home, alone, or with those you love and feel totally comfortable around. You have to completely prepare yourself for the birth (which is a good thing). Before the birth grab a waterproof mattress cover, maybe some extra towels. Think about how you would like the labor/birth to go. What I think about (I am about to have a baby in a few months) is going on a nice walk in labor, my man making tea for us, my son getting to see me labor peacefully, no one around because I do not want to talk to anyone but us. I think about my dog staying close to me to help. I think about different positions that might work for birth in the tub. I think about the contractions and what they will be like. I have never experienced a blissful birth before, but I am not scared. I know I am doing the right thing for me. I want peace, I want bliss, and I want my baby to come out into my world. No one rushing me, no one worried, and no one/thing around that I don't know and love. I think about the placenta coming out and letting the cord stop pulsing before we cut it. I think about eating the placenta if I feel like I need to (if there is extra bleeding it helps the uterus contract, which stops the bleeding) I also think about the cleaning up afterward, but what's a little blood and amniotic fluid right ;). I think about if there is an emergency, and believe me I will know if there is an emergency, and so would you.
Knowledge about the process of labor and birth and your comfort during the process are essential for a pleasant birth experience. You have the power to birth this baby. You have want it takes to be a mother, but you have to take responsibility for your own well being. Know your body, know your comfort zone. I am not talking about the comfort of a care provider and an epidural if the contractions are too intense. The no rush, no one around kind of peace and comfort. I am talking about the comfort you feel after your man and you just made the most magnificent love, or the comfort of being in his arms, and your new baby breastfeeding or sleeping away at home with stuff you like in the fridge. We all know what you get in a hospital birth setting. A thousand eyes watching you, monitoring you during the most intimate moments of your life. Sounds totally safe and secure right.....?