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Unexpected Termoil

Updated on April 5, 2012
In honor of Stacy, a young lady beautiful from the inside out.
In honor of Stacy, a young lady beautiful from the inside out. | Source
Raiders No 1 Fan
Raiders No 1 Fan | Source


Facing the sudden death of a family member or friend is the hardest aspect of life most of us have had to deal with. I will offer words of encouragement and advise based off my own experiences. However remember that everyone handles their emotions and feelings in a variety of ways. Sometimes you may not agree with their comments, their methods or the way they choose to honer the person who has passed on.

I've handled the death of quite a few people within my lifetime and at 52 years old I still have moments that bring me to tears because I miss them and would give anything for one more day to give them a hug and say I love you. Yet, one more day would never be enough, I would want more.

We all have our own ways of handling our grief. When my daughter lost her dad she had just turned 5 years old and I struggled for the first couple of weeks trying to come up with a way to help her grieve and yet keep his memory alive for her. I decided to purchase a binder that had pockets in the front for pictures. I added a few pictures and on one section added the note, Memories of Marty, Letters of Love. I put in two one subject notebooks, put in in a huge zip lock bag with a pen so that when ever anyone visited the cemetery they could add a story or write a letter, which ever they choose. She is now 17 years old and has the binder with the original note books in tact. She still writes letters to her dad and it helps her feel connected to him in her own way.

To honor those we've lost, her dad included, on special days such as Birthdays, we send a balloon up to heaven, and for holidays we give a donation in their memory. I also find that sharing my memories about silly things they said or did helps to ease the sadness. We recall the ice fortress they constructed to hide out and ambush her godfather with snowballs as he began to climb the front steps.

There are many ways you can honor someone who has passed before us. I know that my daughter intends to get two tattos, one in memory of her dad and the other in memory of her cousin. She intends to name, if she has a son in like 10 years or so, him after his nephew and use her dad's middle name as his middle name.

I honor him by raising a beautiful young lady who I am proud to call my baby girl!!


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    • Nights Dream profile image

      Michael Phoenix 5 years ago from Allentown, pa

      You are right, different people deal with grief and loss in different ways. Sometimes, we don't even know how we are going to react. It doesn't matter how many times death has affected us.

      The way your daughter is showing how she remembers her dad is very special. The way you are helping her and honoring the man is something to be admired.

      Sharing the experience of your both of you will help others, especially children, deal with the death of loved ones.