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why have fear?

Updated on August 9, 2016

fear of moving on after a lose

For me this is going to be hard to talk about but I know I can help at lest one person and that is all I need.

so how do I start? why not like this. when I was just hit my teens I fell in love with this girl she had the most beautiful soul with is what I loved most about her, but she like us all had a dark side the girl of my dreams was on drugs bad. At first I didn't know what was going on I knew there was something by the way she would always sleep or when she would get some money run out of the house and be gone all night. By the time I found out it was to last she had relapsed and didn't want help. she hatted herself for doing it at the same time.

One day I got home from work she was laying in bad it looked like she had been there all day witch she did all the time but when I would try to work her up it didn't work I didn't know what to do after calling 911 all I was able to do was hold her and cry. you would think that was the hard part but it was easy to what came next. A few days after all I wanted to do was sit in our room and think why didn't I do something sooner? Why didn't I know? How did I let this happen? All of this was going throw my head I didn't leave the house for weeks on end I didn't eat, sleep go to the door or pick up my phone I just was crying. I lost my job al most lost our place this want on for six months can go on and on about how I felt.

As lame as it sounds even day I woke up the pane really did go little by little, It was hard but I started going out what I mean to say I was forced by good friends. I started living once more. when people would tell me it's going to get better or it's just going to take time I would get mad but it's true.

it's been three years now and I still miss her so bad but I know now that I can't stop my life or let myself be taking over by pane. I'm never going to stop loving or missing her but I know she would want me to be happy I know that's all she ever wanted for me. I'm sure the same will go for you as will.


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